Update on dad

[knw55]

I just spoke with my step-mom about my dads blindness. It is in his brain, which is what I figured but hearing it didn't make it any easier. Dad still sends a message through her that he doesn't want anyone to see him again. It's to hard for him. Maybe he will change his mind. I find it hard to imagine that the last time I hugged him was the last. I remember him holding on so tightly. It doesn't seem possible it was only two weeks ago. I'm trying to hold myself together. My four kids are home today, no school. I've held myself together through this whole thing, being the strong one. Lately I feel that isn't going to last much longer. I know it would be hard but I would like to see him again. I feel like it's desertion. I know I'm rambling, my mind is going so fast and I'm trying not to cry.

[mary colleen]

Karen, I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. Be strong. You will be in my prayers.

[dihen]

I'm so sorry about your dad and I hope he will change his mind and allow you to see him again.

[Treebywater]

Karen--I may get slack from this..... but I'm going to say it anyway. If you need to see your Daddy, go see your Daddy. If it's more important to you that you respect his wishes, do... But... If you have that need, by all means, get there. Explain to him that you understand why it's hard for him, but that YOU NEED to see him and hug him again. It's something he can do for his little girl. If you need that one last hug, more than you need his comfort in not being seen (which... sounds awfully lonely to me), go give your Daddy that hug.

I am so sorry to hear that it's spread to his brain and that your Dad is blind. This disease... well it is evil. And I hate it.

So many ((((((hugs))))) to you.

[Nick C]

I think which ever you do is OK, as it truly is a no win situation.

He has made his wishes known, but perhaps he will still experience great joy in having you there. Or you stay away, and he experiences great joy in the fact that you did something you didn't want to do FOR HIM.

I think positive will come out of whatever you do, because what ever you choose to do will be born out of love for him.

Pray about it...invite God into the situation... can't hurt.

[Ellen B.]

Karen, this must be so difficult for you. I'm so sorry.

Are you sure that this is really your Father's own wish? If so, isn't he able to tell you himself?

Praying for you and your Dad, Ellen.

[Treebywater]

Karen,

I'm really rethinking saying anything as I really didn't mean to make your going to see your Dad the focus of this thread. So please forgive me if that hurts you more than helps. I just wanted you to know that if you needed someone to say, "it's ok to do whatever you need" that that's what I was saying.

Above all, I offer you support and promise that I care and that I'm sorry things are so terribly hard right now.

[Nick C]

Treeby, I don't think you said anything wrong. That's a solid option...which has it's pluses and unfortunately it's minuses. As does every other option in the scenario.

KNW55, I noticed you said you were staying strong. This is very hard. I have not been strong at all times. This takes your heart and sends it through the ringer...please take time for you, don't be bottled if the pressure is feeling unbearable. I lose it from time to time...and then I can cope a little better for a little while.

And please know we are here!