Guest JoAnn Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 Hey everyone I, too, have been guilty of lurking around these boards. It has been too difficult for me to explain how I have been feeling since watching my best friend/Mom die of this insidious disease. She finally lost her battle August 31. I got to spend several quality weeks with her, travelling back and forth from where I live in Ocala Florida to New Hampshire where she lived with my step dad ( my "Pops"). I skipped a week because I HAD to go back to work for a week, and the last week I saw her she was in a coma and in Cheyne Stokes breathing pattern. This was VERY difficult to watch. The nurses there at Exeter Hospital were the nicest people I have ever encountered in a hospital environment. They were SO caring....they offered all our family food, pillows, drinks...shoulders to cry on...whatever we needed. ( There were 25 of us there ...was no small feat!!) The caring environment of that hospital made the transition into her death a little easier. Hospice even had a paper on what to expect when someone was in the stages of dying. It explained the erratic breathing pattern created when one is in a coma, called Cheyne Stokes, which was SO hard to watch. The paper also explained that when someone is dying, the last thing to go is the hearing...SO...if any of you have loved ones in comas, PLEASE talk to them...they CAN hear you. They cannot respond, but at least you are giving them the comfort they need knowing you are there by their side. We all went in one at a time, told mom we loved her and that is was ok for her to go and be with her mom and dad, her bother , and scores of other loved ones we have lost. She held on until Saturday night, Aug 31...she waited for my cousin Jennifer to arrive from Las Vegas before she went into renal failure and left us. Jennie was like a 2nd daughter to her, so I know she wanted to be sure Jennie got to say her goodbyes. My pops and I stayed at that hospital for 3 days straight....never leaving...and talking to my mom, holding her hand, massaging her feet, washing her hair, cleaning out her mouth...whatever we felt we could do to make her feel comfortable. We both sat straight up at the exact minute she took her last breath - looked at each other with tears in our eyes and said "She's gone isn't she?" My mom touched SO many people. She was an angel on earth and I don't know what I am going to do without her. I am her only daughter, and she understood me like no other. I still try to call her every weekend...a hard habit to break since I have been calling her for 20+ years every weekend. I'm rambling, I know....but I miss her so much I cannot stand it!!!! Thanks for listening...I am still praying for all of you that have this disease of are dealing with someone that has it or have lost someone too. In lieu of flowers, donations were made to the American Cancer Society...maybe someday they will find a cure for this horrible disease. Take care everyone....God Bless JoAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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