Feeling down

[valadi]

It seems so many little things have been plaguing me this last week before surgery. I feel totally wore out.

Well...it seems the Dedicated Liver Scan I had done was not quite up to par by my oncologist and tonight I have to go back and have another one done. I'm so angry at him, nothing is every good enough for him. Add the fact that I am suppose to have an epidural done with the surgery, which the Anesthesiologist preferred I have done. I might have compromised having that done because I went out with my family for our annual 4th of July celebration and my back got burned. I did not do it on purpose, I had a sunblock of 20 on. I thought I was good to go. It not pink it's a definite shade of red. Does not hurt or look like any blister are forming but when you push on it it does leave a very vivid mark of your finger for a few seconds. So here am with another worry right before surgery. I called the RN about the burn and am waiting for her to return my call.

My husband is upset because I made the appointment for the DLS for this evening at 7:00 pm. I forgot he goes to bed at that time. He asked me why so late. I do not know why, I just made it. The truth is I wasn't thinking of his needs, I was thinking of mine and when I will be able to eat something because you can not have anything to drink or eat for 4 hours prior to the test and I was making sure he would still have his dinner before we had to go. I completely forgot about his need to go to bed at 7:00PM. I wanted to cry but I walked away and did dishes instead.

As afraid of having this operation as I am, I am now so over all this, I just want to get this over with and move on.

[ernrol]

Valadi,

There are times when things seem so tough. You might try this. Sit down, forgive those that you are having problems with, and then think of ten things that you are thankful for. I have found no matter how hard things seem to be, that I can always think of some things to be thankful for. If you can’t think of ten, think of as many as you can. I will pray that your feelings improve.

Stay positive,

Ernie

[valadi]

Hi Ernie,

Thank You for bringing me back to reality...Sometimes I can use a good boot in the behind to get the brain juices flowing. A lot of it is I am scared out of my mind and I have been getting more and more nervous as it gets closer to the operation. Thanks for the reminder that this is not just about me.

I am sorry I stuck my post in the wrong forum. I just noticed I did that.

Hope your days are always good ones

[blaze100]

Hi Valadi, I'm glad you are feeling better. Don't sweat the small stuff as they say - now is not the time.

When do you go in for your surgery?

Barb

[tiredmom959]

I'm with Katie. I'm all for forgiveness but, considering what you're going through, others need to make a few (at least small) sacrifices too. Take care of yourself.