Jump to content

Making a Baby


Recommended Posts

MAKING A BABY... There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a

surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to

arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;

The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a

door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make

a sale. Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' Oh, no need

to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you

know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had

hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked,

blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I

usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the

bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread

out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out

for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one

every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from

six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My,

that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has

to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm

sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs.

Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a

portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he

said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at

her throat. "And these twins turned out excepti onally well - when you

consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was

difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to

the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four

and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" said Mrs.

Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And

for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and

yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I

had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my

equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do

you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" "It's true,

Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get

to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need

to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in

the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted.........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.