teriw Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Saturday my church had an "Easter Extravaganza," where we had all sorts of stuff set up for families. I was in charge of a family photo booth. We're a relatively small church (less than 100 members), so it was a rather large undertaking. It went great. On Easter Sunday the man who had led our little short-term grief group last year came to speak with me. He had met a woman who came to our fair -- she had just lost her 39 year old husband the Sunday before. A sudden heart related death while playing basketball with his friends. She has an 18 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. He gave me her number and asked if I would call her. "Of course," I said. I was nervous about it, but I called her on Monday. We talked easily and she was interested in getting together with me next week after things calm down. I so recognized the "manic" tone in her voice and the need to make things "ok." The reason I'm posting this might sound odd, all things considered. I need advice. I feel I'm in a rather acute stage of my own grief and I literally can't remember what I most needed in those early days of shock and disbelief. It's a little different online -- writing is my "comfort zone." One on one support with someone I don't know is not (yet). I'm afraid of coming on too strong and trying to "help" too much. Is it best just to listen and offer to "be there?" Should I share my experience, or is it too early to hear that? How many times should I call if I don't get a response right away? I don't want to be intrusive, but we all know how grief can make us hide. How different is it really to experience a very sudden death than it is an illness? How it is that she (in her words) came to a fair a week later at a church she'd never visited, and then felt compelled to share her story with the one man who was best equipped to offer her support at a small church where there are three recent widows -- in my opinion -- can only be God at work. She felt the same. I hope she's still receptive next week, because I so want to help. Thanks for any words of wisdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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