I did it but damn!!!!!

[lilyjohn]

Sense I have been spending more and more time here at my computer I decided that it is time to get a more comfortable chair. Especially sense my back and neck have been telling me what my mirror has been for a very long time. I am NOT sixteen anymore!!

Yesterday I went to the mad house (WalMart) and found just the right chair. It has all of the required things like seat, back, casters and of coarse arm rests. I left it sitting in the box all night. This morning I finally got the nerve up to tackle putting it together.

I took all of the pieces out and lined them up on the floor then I read the instructions. Looks easy enough! I also read the warning to keep the small screw caps away from small children and to tighten the screws once in a while so you don't take a butt flop on the floor. There was NO warning that said "you have to be a super human contortionest to get the arms back and seat lined up so the screws fit the holes allowed for them." After rolling on the floor , nearly standing on my head and realizing that I was using words I never knew before, I finally got it put together.

Now my little dog Misty is half wire terrier, WHITE half wire terrier! Now my brand new BLACK chair looks like it was in the direct line of a snowblower and my BROWN pants look like I just walked through a spun glass factory!! I did get it together tho but damn they should have put that warning in the instructions!!

It really is nice and almost perfect. One of the screw caps won't fit because the screw is just a little off center but I don't mind because every time I see that little shiny screw head I will remember why they make things that are ALREADY ASSEMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ann]

Isn't amazing what we can learn to do when forced to? I have tackled so many things since Dennis's death that I would never have attempted before. I know what you mean about these instructions! I think they should enclose little people in these boxes to help with the assembly! I am so proud of you, Lillian! You have made so much progress and come so far since I read your first post! Your courage is an inspiration to me!!!

[DeanCarl]

Many years ago my wife brought home a microwave stand in a box. Now, having delt with some of my wife's "some assembly required" purchases before this I was, understandably, a bit nervous when I saw the stand, still in it's box, when I got home from work.

"Don't worry, honey", say's she. "I'll put it together myself".

"Sure", says I (but only to myself ... I'm not THAT dumb!). Out loud I say, "Ok. Let me know if you need any help" (but then again, maybe I am! )

So for the next 2 hours I sit and read and watch a little TV while studiously ignoring all the bangs, thumps, "Ouch"s, and other noises of complete confusion comming from the other room.

(I must say, at this point, that I learned a LOT about the depth of my wife's vocabulary that evening.)

Finally I hear the word "Help" and off I go to save the day. The first thing I notice is that the instructions were written in 17 different languages, none of which seemed to have even a passing resemblance to English. Ok, no problem. I was a shipfitter in the Navy. I know how to build things, right?

Well, yes I do know how to build things. At least things that make sense. After about 45 minutes of fumbling about trying to figure out what went where I was able to determine that the little wheel thingies went on the bottom and big flat board went on the top. And that was about it. The thing was obviously designed by one of those people who spend WAY too much time putting together ten thousand piece jig saw puzzles. You know, the kind with no picture but, instead, some abstract design or even just a solid color?

Anyway, I finaly did get the thing together. At least it stayed upright and held the microwave so I guess that qualifies as "together". And we eventualy found some use for all the extra pieces we had so I count that as a bargin.

And, like you Lillian, we now have two prerequisits for any furniture purchases. 1: It must be delivered at a resonable cost and 2: The store MUST do any required assembly.

Dean

[lilyjohn]

Thanks Dean

I thought I was the only one who could not read Spchienglanese!!!!!!!!

or whatever those instructions are written in!! Once again Ann thanks for the encouragement. Love you both keep up the good hearts that you have . Lillian

[glo]

So funny, Lilly -

I had a very similar experience. My daughter asked what I wanted for Christmas and one of the things I told her was a chair for the computer room. She bought one at Staples -- they would have assembled it for another $5, but then it wouldn't have fit in her car, and she couldn't have wrapped it, so she took it in the box.

A few hours after we'd unwrapped all our presents, I took the pieces of the chair from the box and started to TRY and assemble it. Now, I've always helped my husband put this kind of stuff together and usually can make sense of it, but this chair wasn't making any sense. And forget about instructions in everything but English. This chair had NO written instructions. One sheet of paper with a diagram showing the chair parts and numbers for the order in which they were to go together and arrows to show what goes into what.

The casters wouldn't stay on; the cylinder that lets the chair raise and lower wouldn't stay in; nothing was working and I was getting frustrated. Then I found on the paper a website address. Oh, goodie. Maybe FAQs! Ha, ha -- there were two FAQs. (l) How do I get the legs off the chair? (2) How do I get the cylinder off the chair. I laughed so hard because my question is how to get them ON the chair.

Later on my daughter managed to get it together, but I came back in the room as she was finishing to discover a part that had rolled away behind an ottoman and got left off. It's a large plastic piece that I believe is only a dust cover for the cylinder that raises and lowers the chair. We thought about going back to the website because now those FAQs were relevant , but decided to just leave it, since everything seems to work without it. If I discover a problem, then I'll think about trying to reassemble it.

Gloria

[Guest DaveG]

I swear that the engineers who design cordless telephone never use their product, or never try to replace the battery in the product they designed. I have always imagined these engineers, rolling on the floor laughing their *ss off at all us ignorant techies trying to replace the battery.

[Snowflake]

Dave, I didn't know you could replace the battery! I just replace the darn phone!

I've splurged on a phone with headset after my last speaker phone died (I carry quite an electrical surge across the living room in the winter, blew the darn thing up when I answered it!)... Had to do it, with all those automated phone systems now and not being able to reach a real person. I miss too much of the rest of the instructions while I'm pounding the pound symbol and entering my address and name, etc. At least with the headset and the phone in my hand, I can get through all the darn instructions and EVENTUALLY either settle my business with no real human contact OR find the "stand in line for an operator" sequence...

...and don't get me started on CELL PHONES and the "etiquette" that just ain't there in the theater or restaurants, etc.

ANYHOW...

That was my b*tch for the morning...