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Before Christmas, we found out my Step Mom had lung cancer and underwent surgery 2 weeks ago to remove the spots on her left lung.  Surgeon was pleased with the surgery and the results of it, and suspected all was well as it was caught very early.  Fast forward to 2 days ago, they received the results of the pathology and somehow her lungs are covered with cancer!!  Apparently, it could not be detected with the naked eye... She is early stage 1 and says the spots are very slow-growing, but that there is nothing anyone can do now... I am feeling so many emotions right now, and I came across this page and was just looking to connect with others.  I don't know what to say to her and my Dad, I don't know how to feel, think, how do we go on now not knowing what each day will bring, when cancer will finally win and take her from us?   I have lost so many family members over the years to this F***ING cancer. 



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Welcome here.


I really wish my welcome was delivered under better circumstances.  Lung cancer is such a horrible disease.  It surprises, then just keeps on making mayhem of our lives.  


When my father learned of my diagnosis, he shied away from talking to me.  Mom said he couldn't fathom that his son was going to die before him.  He'd lost many friends from lung cancer and knew well of its lethality.  When I was in intensive care after one of my failed cancer surgeries, Mom said he'd cycle in and out of the ICU just passing by the bed and glancing as he did so.  I recovered from that surgical event but Dad passed away soon after.  We never really had a conversation after my diagnosis.  He was overwhelmed by fear and paralyzed by the inability to do anything to help me.  I didn't know of his struggles at the time.  Mom filled me in years after his death.  And on reflecting of my father's experience, I connect with your not knowing "how to feel, think, how do we go on not knowing."  I don't have answers but deep empathy for you.  


Stay the course.



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I lost my mother a few months ago. Like you, I don't know how to feel. The fact that it was all preventable left me feeling angry too. My mother on the other hand felt so guilty and apologized repeatedly during our last conversations. I told her with conviction that it was okay, that she had nothing to be sorry for. I'm not sure where it came from, but I wasn't attempting to lie, it felt sincere when I said it. I'm so torn up between anger and sadness. I don't know what type of lung cancer your step mom has. My mom had nsclc squammous carcinoma (one very large tumor on the bronchial tube area. What you described sounded a bit like small cell. Once you know what type, see if there are any clinical trials or new treatments available (her Dr. might not be doing them but someone might). My mother was a few months too late to benefit from a new immunotherapy that was recently approved for her type (and will be a game changer for others!).

I wish you the best and I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone!!

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