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Guest NikiP

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Guest NikiP

hey my name is niki. my aunt is katieb and her dad who is my grandpa has cancer. i still dont know very much about the whole cancer thing, but i guess here is as good a place as any to start learning. when i first heard that my grandpa had cancer, it didnt seem real. i mean usually you see it in the movies and so your heart really isnt sympathetic because its just for pretend. but this is for real, and before i dont think that quite dawned on me. but as my aunt katie kept sending updates on grandpa's health and well-being, it slowly sank in. wow, my grandpa has cancer and he might die soon. what if there are things on his wish list that he'd like to check off before he goes, ya know? it's the hardest on me. im scared of death, so it makes me cry that someone else has to worry about that everyday.i'm scared for him to have to carry that burden on his shoulders. and i apologize if i may word things off, but i dont know how to put this in a more subtle way. um...when i see the pic of aunt katie with grandpa in the wheelchair, it makes me shed tears. but what confuses me is why do i have these tears? i was never really close to my grandpa and now i wish i was. and i only been to texas so few a time, ya know. not often enough to develop some kind of relatioship. and he uses to always drink and smoke and watch football so i guess thats what used to keep me away. he seemed so into doing that, i never really thought to bother him. so why do i feel like i do? its confusing. i dont like to think about the prospect of death, whether its me or anyone else at that. death in general makes scared and it makes me cry, like i am doing right now. :(

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Niki, welcome to the message board. It is not too late, as Katie said, to get to know your grandfather better. I bet he would like that a lot. Write, call, E-mail. Ask him questions about his life that you are curious about. Ask him what you can do for him. Remember some times together even if they are vague. Blessings. Don

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Guest DaveG

Niki:

You don't know me, but I have become very good friends with your Aunt Katie and Uncle Rick. As you see in my signature I have lung cancer just like your grandpa. You may also notice that I have had a recent major set back and one week from today I will be starting chemo.

Without all these wonderful people, almost 300 strong now, here at Lung cancer Survivors for Change, I don't know what my life with lung cancer would be like. Everyone here, absolutely, lives on the word: POSITIVE.

Your Aunt Katie is very special to me. We have shared our phone numbers and we call each other periodically. Katies is one very loving and caring person. She loves and cares for your Grandpa very much.

Lung Cancer is a scary disease and nothing is wrong if you have cried about your grandpa having lung cancer. I have cried about having lung cancer myself and I have cried about most of the members of this board as well. We are family here. We care for, and love each other very, very much here.

Please make your self at home here and don't be afraid to come here often. You will get to know many of us quite well.

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Hello Niki and Welcome,

I'm so sorry to hear that your Grandfather had LungCancer. It really is a difficult thing that makes you revaluate the relationships that you have with your loved ones, and the relationship never seems to be adequate! Even when you are extemely close with a loved one like I am with my Mom, I still think "have I said the right things? Have I been a good daughter?" I want more of a relationship and it is hard... I live very far away from my parents at this time..at that makes it worse. I'm glad that you have come here and I hope that you will find the comfort that I have had. The people here are so nice and supportive.

Many blessings to you Niki.

Laurie

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