lilyjohn Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes. No wonder men are happier! Quote
Snowflake Posted February 28, 2004 Posted February 28, 2004 ...but ya know, they just can't do it on their own... Funny how one can have the skills to live alone and just not be able to take care of the "details" that add up (that beer can pyramid, for one - it WILL grow too big for indoors...) ...as for the bolt, it's righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...unless it's b*stard thread....(my MOM taught me that! LOL) Quote
Connie B Posted February 29, 2004 Posted February 29, 2004 Hey Lillian, I don't think our Don got it !!!!!! Quote
DeanCarl Posted February 29, 2004 Posted February 29, 2004 Christmas shopping in 45 minutes? Why would anyone take THAT long? Dean Quote
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