TeeTaa Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Question: How do you tell the difference between liberals, conservatives, and southerners? Answer: Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40 handgun, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family! What do you do? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Conservative Answer: BANG! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.... (sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or the Federal Hydrashocks?" GREETINGS FROM GEORGIA!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Dean's answer: ----------------------------------------------------------------- BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.... (sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or the Federal Hydrashocks?" Pause Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. Pause BANG! _________________________________________________ Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Shame on you, Dean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Okay, Dean.... As a fellow SOB -that stands for Shortness of Breath- you of ALL people should know that sometimes laughing in a loud and uncontrolled manner means I CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH!!!!!! You're terrible...and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Fay A. (Who needs 2 liters a minute to recover from this thread) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Well being a Southern Conservative ... >>MMMMMmmmmm BANG, Then being from Texas, when he gets out of the hospital from out gun shot, we will execute him by lethal injection... lol..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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