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Immediate Help Needed!


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Hi!

I know I have been very quiet on this board, but I read the messages every day and have laughed, cried, grieved with, and prayed for each of you over the last 8 months.

I have a crisis here that I have no experience in dealing with, and I am needing some expertise. The crisis actually does not have much to do with my mother, who is still undergoing weekly navelbine chemo and is growing weaker but is feeling good otherwise. It has to do with my father, whom my mother divorced nearly 30 years ago. I have had a relationship with him during my entire childhood and adulthood. He is not a very easy personality to get along with and has alienated all other relatives except myself. He lives 2000 miles away, and we talk once every three weeks or so and see each other once every two or three years. He has had back pain for a few months now, and it is getting more intense. During this time, he also began corresponding with and went on 3 separate vacations with a female oncologist from Russia. They started talking about marriage, and she came to America with her 13 year old son a week ago. I got an e-mail from her this morning that she has read my father's MRIs and reports and after 20 years in the field, believes that he has multiple metastases of cancer all over his body. She doesn't know what to do next, because she can't practice medicine in this country. She doesn't even know how to set him up with an oncologist or get him the pain relief he needs. She has only told my dad that he has a tumor on his spine which could be benign, nothing about the other metastases. There is no way that I can physically go there for at least another week--my husband is traveling and I am homeschooling my two children.

What should I tell her? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

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Who ordered those MRI's? It is very strange that she could read them if they were ordered by his doctor. She is not a relative, and federal law is very strick- HIPPA. If he has them and is carrying them to another physician as a consult, it is not her responsibility to tell him what she interprets before he gives them to the doctor that he was refered to. In my opinion she just should have kept quiet for now for in not telling him what she really thought she certainly is not building trust either. Boy I sure can see where you are concerned. Best wishes and prayers for your Dad

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