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Work Humor

Amy P

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Supposedly, these are actual quotes takes from Federal Governament Employee Performance Evalutaions - from some of the posts I have read these could apply to a portion of the medical community!

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom

and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more

of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat

in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change


6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to

achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the


11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all


12. "A gross ignoramus...144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."!

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other


20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was through using it"

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain't


24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for


25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a


26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat off 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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