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Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been married

for sixty years.Though they were far from rich, they

managed to get by

because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health,

largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods

and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went

on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending

them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and

there an escort was waiting to show them inside. He

took them to a beautiful mansion,

furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked

kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. And their

favorite clothes hanging in the closet. They gasped in

astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This

will be your home now."

Sam asked how much all this was going to cost. "Why,

nothing," their companion replied, "remember, this is

your reward in Heaven." Sam looked out the window and

right there he saw a championship golf course,= finer

and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth. "What

are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man."This is

heaven," the companion replied. "You can play for free

every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish

buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out

before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts,

free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said their

companion to Sam. "This is Heaven, it is all free for

you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at

Edith. "Well, where are the low fat and low

cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he

asked. "That's the best part," the companion replied.

"You can eat and drink as much as you like of

whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick.

This is Heaven!"

Sam pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you

want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

Sam glared at Edith and said, "You and your goddam

bran

muffins.....................................................................

We could have been here 15 years ago!"

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