KarHart
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Posts posted by KarHart
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Linda, it is terrible that Mike is suffering, I know that is so hard on you. Hospice gave my husband liquid morphine to keep on hand before he needed it. I would think they would have that available to you right away, it is so much easier than pills, which can become impossible to give. I hope you get all the help you need today.
Karen H
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You should go ahead and apply now. If you are denied you can file an appeal. The important thing is it is retroactive to when you first apply, even if you are denied. With a dx of LC you are probably going to get approved at some point, so go ahead and get the process started, as Cindy pointed out you have nothing to lose by doing it. Good luck.
Karen H
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I really enjoyed his eloquent posts, my condolences to his family.
Karen H
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Hi Karen,
When Ken was first dx he had only Medicare. He was already on it for a different disability. Anyway, we had to pay the 20% of the Medicare approved charges, no one ever billed the difference.
I was able to add him on to my work insurance last March (Blue Cross HMO). It appears that they are paying the 20%, which is a good thing since each chemo treatment was costing us about $960 after Medicare. Blue Cross is slowly picking these up. I just received a $2,000 bill from Moffitt from the time before we got him on Blue Cross, unfortunately that is all mine.
If you have Medicare and a supplement you are generally in really good shape. The really important thing about getting him on BC was that while he was on Tarceva I only had to pay a $30 copay since it was under my RX coverage.
Karen H
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MaryAnne,
Ken had several small nodules in both lungs when we first found out that it was back in the liver. The doctor did not even mention them. I didn't find out till we got the report. When I asked the dr. about them he said he was not at all concerned about them. They stayed stable the whole time while the liver tumors exploded. I got to the point where I didn't even think of them anymore. I am sure they will keep an eye on it, try not to worry too much. Hopefully, it will not change, or even better, it will just go away.
Karen H
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Carleen,
I am happy to see you feeling better. Everytime Keith smiles now it will be something you will hold in your heart forever. Continued prayers.
Karen H
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I am dreading all those future anniversaries too. At Ken's memorial service his best friend pointed out a beautiful flower arrangement, a dozen long stemmed roses. He said they were from Ken, he told him to get them for me when the time came. He always gave me roses. I dried 6 of them and dipped them in a glaze, they are next to his picture, I will keep them forever.
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So happy to hear your good news, hope it just keeps getting better.
Karen H
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Just last night my sister in NY was asking when this was going to happen. I told her I thought Nov. I am definately going to try to make it. Hope it is not too cold then, we FL people have a problem with that. I think Frank Lamb would be the perfect candidate, Vietnam Vet and survivor. Will be excited to hear details. Thanks for doing this.
Karen H
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Sue, so glad you are taking care of yourself, but wished you did not have to. Hope you have a quick recovery.
Karen H
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You both are in my prayers, also.
Karen H
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Dear Carleen,
I am so sorry, I don't know why you and Keith are having to face so much pain and sorrow, especially at such a young age. I guess we just have to wait until it is our time to find out. I know that sometimes I just have a desparate need to be wherever Ken is now. The thought that that will happen someday is what I cling to now.
I understand how desperate you are feeling right now. I really believe it was harder on me than Ken when he finally said he was too tired to fight anymore. I had to accept that, but it just tore me up that we were just going to let go of hope, even though the options were extremely limited.
You sound so exhausted, I wish there was some way you could get some rest. You are going to need all your strength to help Keith. You have been in my thoughts and prayers, please let me know if there is anything I can do or tell you to help.
Karen H
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Happy Anniversary, and many, many more.
Karen H
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Carleen my heart goes out to you and Keith. It is just brutal that you have to wait so long for the scan results. I understand your worry about Keith getting so tired and discouraged. It is so hard as the care giver to watch the one we love begin to decline. Please know I keep you both in my prayers.
Karen H
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Thank you to everyone for all your condolences. I am very grateful to our daughter Laura for posting about Ken for me.
It has been a little over 2 weeks now and it still does not seem real. The night he died he was in a coma for most of the day and not really aware before that. I was holding his hand and telling him it was time to go, that the next day was Laura's birthday and he needed to be in heaven looking down on us. Within seconds his eyes opened, rolled up and he was gone. It was so fast, but I was so grateful, it was so hard seeing him those last few hours. I was so afraid he might go on to the next day and did not want Laura to remember her father died on her birthday for the rest of her life.
We had a memorial service on the 17th at my mothers house, outside. It was a beautiful service and many of his friends spoke. Our son got up and spoke very movingly about his dad. At that point, I realized that he was no longer a boy, but had become a man. Ken, I know, had to be so proud. At the end there was the military honors, with the marines folding the flag and presenting it to me and taps. Of course that got me crying again. Laura had the idea of ordering Breathe Deep bracelets for the service, so we ordered 50 adults and 10 youths. I was very touched how everyone wanted one. Unfortunately, we did not have enough for everyone.
Laura and the baby stayed until last Sat. I am on my own now. Sometimes, I just think, well Ken was often asleep when I got home from work, so this is not really that different. I'll just pretend he is in the other room. It doesn't really work though.
My mother and I are going up to her house in the mountains in NC. We have a family burial area there for ashes. My father and his parents are there and that is where I will be someday. We are going to take his ashes up there for burial sometime in May and need to go up and check things out, no one has been there in awhile. We will have another service, he has a lot of family in KY and TN who could not come down, but will be able to come to NC.
So, I am just trying to put my life back together. I am back at work. There is so much to do at home. I need to learn all the things Ken wanted to show me how to do, but I wouldn't let him. I kept saying we had plenty of time for him to show me, but we didn't. He always said I was in denial and I realize now he was right. My head might have known, but my heart never accepted it. It is still hard to understand how someone who was a part of my life for more than half my life can be gone. I know it takes a lot of time, I learned that when my father died.
I have been on the boards but not posting. I have been praying for everyone, I still feel very connected here and will try to support those who are still fighting this terrible disease. We need to find a way to stop this killer of dreams.
Karen H
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Hi Sher,
My father Ken just died two nights ago, so my family and I can relate to what you are going thru. The freshness of grief is so raw and powerful. My mom (Karen) and I will be keeping you in our prayers. Please go easy on yourself, seek help when you need it, and keep us posted on how you're doing.
Hugs,
Laura (and Karen)
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This is Laura again. My father Ken passed away last night at 7:40pm. We knew it was going to be very soon, probably sometime during the night, but it was still such a shock. He went very peacefully and quickly. He was with family and friends when he passed. I really don't know what else to say right now. I'm not sure when my mom (Karen) will post again, but I will keep an eye on the boards for her for a few days. Thank you all again so very much for your thoughts and prayers. This board is such a blessing for us all, isn't it? We hold you all in our prayers.
God's Blessings and Mercy,
Laura
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Hi, this is Karen and Ken's daughter Laura. It has been a rough week or so for our family. Mom has been busy taking care of Dad, and she is amazing. Dad has been steadily declining and we are afraid that he may not make it through tonight. Mom called to have the hospice chaplain come over, and he baptized Dad. It was a moment that brought us all peace, especially Mom. I'll let her tell you all about things in more detail, I just wanted to post a quick update. Thank you all so much for your caring and prayers, and especially for being a support for my mother. We are keeping you and yours in our prayers as well. God's peace to you all.
Laura H
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More good news! How wonderful for you and your mom.
Karen H
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I really needed to see some good news. i am so happy for you.
Karen H
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Ken is getting progressively weaker. The worst thing is the mental confusion. It is very difficult for me to get any medication in him. He always says he already took it. The other morning he looked absolutely terrified of me when I tried to get him to take some anit-nauseau medicine. He said I gave it to him 4 times already. It just broke my heart.
Hospice wants me to double his dose of the long lasting morhine. Problem is he refuses to take any morphine at all now. The only thing he will take is the oxycodone so I am doubling the dosage on it. I do have liquid morphine and sometimes he will take it. I am thinking about trying to put it in a drink, but he does not drink much.
He has gotten so weak today. His speech has really gotten difficult to understand, and when I can understand him it does not make much sense. This is so incredibly difficult. My mother is with him now, I just ran into the office briefly. I called our daughter in WY to come back soon, maybe Sat. I have a lot of support and help but I just was not prepared for how painful this is. He is just wasting away before my eyes.
Continued prayers are needed. Thank you.
Karen H
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First, thank you everyone for your prayers and well wishes. I am in the office briefly and have a quick ? Ken has been complaining of intense pain in the back of his right calf. This has been going on for several days. I am worried that it may be a bone met but don't know much about this. I am able to keep it fairly well under control with his pain meds, but he is having bouts of extreme confusion and is resistant to taking medication some times. I know radiation is used for bone mets but I don't think this would be an option for him.
I will try to get on my computer at home tonight. Thanks for any input.
Karen H
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Oh Sue, I am so sorry. I was so hoping you and Mike would have more time together. This is just such a sad time, I hope you and your family find peace.
Karen H
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Don, I am very impressed with your plan. We had looked into cyberknife when Ken only had one liver tumor. In retrospect I wish we had gone that route instead of the liver resection. It was such a major, painful surgery. I think if we had done the CK and chemo right away maybe things would be better, but no point in second guessing now. I really hope this works for you if the PET is positive. Good Luck!
Charlie's In Heaven
in GRIEF
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Tina, I am so sorry, I was thinking of you and Charlie all weekend. My deepest condolences to you and your family, I know what a shock this is.
Karen H