Roz

Loved seeing this Susan... Sorry for being late in congratulating you. I admire you and want you to know that it does inspire others, like me...

Susan,
Since receiving the lung cancer diagnosis last summer, I have come to realize that no matter what I feel on the inside, it really is inside me. People do not look at me and see differences, because the scars are hidden. Sharing information with others who are dealing with difficult situations, and/or responding on these forums, has been extremely beneficial. I try to live my life with a smile on my face and recognize that there are many people in the world who need support because their situation is even more difficult than mine. When I go about my day, I can function in my "new normal" and feel quite well physically and emotionally. It's leading up to that next scan that the anxiety sets in..but as Tom said in his post, to stay the course is so important. I wish I knew what else to say. As KatieB said, we did not choose cancer, but once faced with it, we have to figure out how to beat it, stay strong, and move forward. I'm with you and your struggles!!!
 
Ro

Susan,
I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner as I would have responded right away. So happy to hear that today is a better day. I hope that the treatment starts as soon as possible and completely understand your frustration and feelings of anxiety. Here's to many more sunrises and sunsets ahead!!
 
Ro

Susan,
I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner as I would have responded right away. So happy to hear that today is a better day. I hope that the treatment starts as soon as possible and completely understand your frustration and feelings of anxiety. Here's to many more sunrises and sunsets ahead!!
 
Ro

Susan,
SBRT is good stuff. It fried my non-cooperating tumor and resulted in my long tenured NED. I've done a lot of reading on the Abscopal Effect and this is reflective of what I've learned. We both share NSCLC that is resistant to targeted therapy and perhaps even immunotherapy, but my chemo-resistant tumor stopped growing and spreading after but three - 15 minute treatments by CyberKnife in early 2007.  I've had quarterly, then bi-annual scans since and all have been NED.
Tell super rad-doc to lock and load and blast that son of a b&#*& into scar tissue!
Stay the course.
Tom

I meet with Super Radiation Doc on Wednesday - but it will likely be SBRT. 

Susan,
I totally agree that explaining and discussing this with our parents is one of the most difficult parts of the process. I see the pain in their eyes and feel so badly to be putting them through all the worry. No matter how we say it, they will be scared...I don't blame them as I would feel the same if it were my children.
What is super doc's plan for treating this recurrence?
 
Best,
 
Ro

Still feel that way Susan-every single day!!
 
Ro

Still feel that way Susan-every single day!!
 
Ro

Susan,
Since receiving the lung cancer diagnosis last summer, I have come to realize that no matter what I feel on the inside, it really is inside me. People do not look at me and see differences, because the scars are hidden. Sharing information with others who are dealing with difficult situations, and/or responding on these forums, has been extremely beneficial. I try to live my life with a smile on my face and recognize that there are many people in the world who need support because their situation is even more difficult than mine. When I go about my day, I can function in my "new normal" and feel quite well physically and emotionally. It's leading up to that next scan that the anxiety sets in..but as Tom said in his post, to stay the course is so important. I wish I knew what else to say. As KatieB said, we did not choose cancer, but once faced with it, we have to figure out how to beat it, stay strong, and move forward. I'm with you and your struggles!!!
 
Ro

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments.  I guess, after two years, I'm still adjusting to the dreaded "new normal".  There are many aspects of this site that I enjoy, but coming here to write what is on my mind is probably the best.  My husband understands but you all really understand.  
Wishing you a happy day!

So true and well written Tom!
 
Ro

Susan,
Since receiving the lung cancer diagnosis last summer, I have come to realize that no matter what I feel on the inside, it really is inside me. People do not look at me and see differences, because the scars are hidden. Sharing information with others who are dealing with difficult situations, and/or responding on these forums, has been extremely beneficial. I try to live my life with a smile on my face and recognize that there are many people in the world who need support because their situation is even more difficult than mine. When I go about my day, I can function in my "new normal" and feel quite well physically and emotionally. It's leading up to that next scan that the anxiety sets in..but as Tom said in his post, to stay the course is so important. I wish I knew what else to say. As KatieB said, we did not choose cancer, but once faced with it, we have to figure out how to beat it, stay strong, and move forward. I'm with you and your struggles!!!
 
Ro

Susan,
Unfortunately, I still get hit right between the eyes.  Case in point, I've had a nagging congested chest condition with a "dry patch" in my throat since mid May.  My GP ordered and ENT endoscope consult followed by an MRI.  So alarm bells are ringing in my head!  Recurrence, even after long periods of NED is common.  Living with the threat is partly finding one's new normal, but the threat is always hanging around my mind and effects my day to day life.  For example, I pay close attention to medical expense and medical evacuation benefits on the travel insurance policy I now purchase for every international vacation.  And, I still have that scanziety drill for my two scheduled oncology consultations a year.
Lung cancer really is part of my life.  It is ever present in my mind.  Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by its reality.  My only solutions is to....
Stay the course.
Tom

Tom-
The words you have written here are beautiful!! Thank you for taking the time to write it and to share it!
 
Ro

Tom-
The words you have written here are beautiful!! Thank you for taking the time to write it and to share it!
 
Ro

Tom-
The words you have written here are beautiful!! Thank you for taking the time to write it and to share it!
 
Ro

And, what of hope?  What is the essence of it?
Words inspire me.  They lift my spirit and excite my soul.
Especially two simple words: faith and hope.
These words have a natural order. Indeed one must have faith before hope is possible.
So the question becomes, what is faith?
Faith is belief, conviction, an unshakable confidence, that something unseen, untouchable, or unknowable exists.
I have faith my chemotherapy treatments will arrest my cancer.  I cannot see them working, nor can I touch the chemicals.  I cannot know they are working but my belief is strong, resolute and unshakable. I have faith.
And because I have faith, hope is possible.  What is the essence of hope?
Hope is an expectation of a good outcome.  For those with lung cancer, we hope against hope. We cling to slim odds; we rejoice at possibility despite monumental probability. Indeed, we who suffer lung cancer are hopers.  And, "hope is a good thing"; "hope is maybe the best of things."
Hope gives us purpose. It stiffens resolve. It creates strength to endure.  Hope sustains.  Without doubt, hope lifts my spirit and excites my soul.
"Out of the night that covers me, 
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul."
I believe I shall live to enjoy the simple things, the little things, the important things. My faith in life is unshakable. I hope to live each day to find little pieces of joy. When found I shall rejoice. For the magic of life is joy. But the essence of life is faith and hope.
Stay the course.

I was told after my surgery February 16, 2018 that I had stage 3aT2N2 adenocarcinoma. The top right lobe was removed, along with 12 lymph lobes- 4 being cancerous. If a doctor told me anything about my possibility of living 5 years, I would have been so angry. You both have a great, positive outlook. I am glad your wife is doing well. You have been a great support.