Ginnie,
Please try to find a way to discuss this with your daughter and husband. My husband and I got the "what if/what are your wishes" out of the way early on....God it was hard! But afterwards, it let us put it away and concentrate on fighting the beast. There are still times I know he has something on his mind, but is not ready to release it. I found by asking him if he has had any dreams lately or telling him of mine, it helps break the barrier.
Will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Mary