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All the best wishes for a successful treatment and subsequent healing!!!!!

I'm so glad your dad had a successful surgery, and hope that things will continue to improve for him, and he will get back on track in his treatments.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother! May you find peace knowing that your mom is safely home with god, and out of pain. My deepest condolences to you and your family..

Congratulations Jan, and continued good health!

Jodi, so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother! I'm glad that you were able to be there with her and lovingly release her into heaven, where you will see her again!! May god bless you and give you strength at this very trying time...

{{{Tom}}} Wishing you all the best as you recover from your surgery and hoping for a clean pathology report. As a few others have said, if the pain gets too bad, ask your docs for something stronger. All the best!

Thanks Linda, Ralph and Don for your very helpful comments. I imagine that everyone’s recovery is different, and oxygen needs are different from person to person. I guess the hard things about this disease are the ‘not knowing’ and ‘waiting’ it out periods. My family is not the most patient and sometimes we want things yesterday but we are learning to take it day to day with mom and hold on to all the small victories along the way. Linda, your mom’s spirit/fight is so encouraging. I’m sorry for her setback and hope that she continues to recover and ultimately becomes less dependent on oxygen. Ralph, thank you for your encouragement, and sorry to hear that you had a recent bout with pneumonia. I know pneumonia has always been the big fear in our family with my mom’s COPD. She had landed in the hospital twice with weird lung abscesses and once with a pneumonia, and boy, it took her months to get back on her feet. Hope you recover quickly. Don, yes, mom sort of went through the same thing as you when she first woke up from surgery. Just sitting up was challenging for her in terms of getting out of breath. I am so glad to hear that you are able to walk a mile in 16 minutes – that is really great, and that you are doing well overall. It was very encouraging to read about your progress – thanks for sharing. Thanks again – all of you. Diane

{{{Lindy}}} - I am very sorry to hear about Mike's pain, and that hospice will be called in. I will keep both of you in my prayers...I'm sorry that you have to go through this horrible nightmare!

Mom had a right lower lobectomy on March 8, with an extended hospital stay and air leak, but finally got the chest tube for the air leak out on March 31. She is getting very depressed because she needs oxygen almost 24/7 and easily gets out of breath with the smallest amounts of exertion even when she is connected to the oxygen. She is using 2L at rest and 3L with exertion. Mom has had severe COPD since 1990 but remained active but prior to surgery, her pulmonary function tests were lower than the norm, and there was some question as to whether she was a surgical candidate. Her pulmologist said "no" but the lung surgeon said "yes". She basically rolled the die and opted for surgery. I just scanned her pre-surgery reports and her FEV1 before surgery was 0.97 (or 48% of predicted). I don't know what this means but I am wondering if her oxygen-dependency is just related to surgery or if it is a sign that she will not get back enough lung function to live without oxygen? Her surgeon keeps saying 'she looks bad on paper but a much different story in person'. I guess my question is this: is a month after surgery too early to determine if she will need oxygen 24/7? We keep telling her to give it more time, she will get better, but are we giving her false hope?! She hates being dependent on all of us, especially when it comes to cleaning her house and cooking for her, two things that she always took pride in before she got lung cancer. Even with her severe COPD, she always perservered and found a way to keep active, and do for herself and my dad. Is it normal for some people to be on oxygen for long periods of time, like over a month? She will start pulmonary therapy in early May and maybe that will help improve her lung function? Whenver I see her, she looks great but then when she moves around and get breathless, she starts to cry..and then I just lose it.

First of all, congratulations on your quit! I just gave up smoking on Jan 1st, 30 days before my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. You are in a very tough position and as much as I understand how badly you want your mom to quit smoking, from my experience, to nag her or threaten to stay away from her until she does so will not make much of a difference. Your mom is an addict, and until she makes that decision to quit, there is not much more anyone can do. She has to want it for herself! Emphysema had ebbed away at the life of my mother since 1990, but I continued to smoke anyway, even though I always felt guilty. Nothing could make me quit except ME. You are so right, your mom does have it in her to quit, like so many before her, and as much as she probably wants to quit, she does not yet have the willpower or desire. You can try and force it on her but but to do so will probably put a real strain on your relationship with her. I bet that by your not smoking anymore is sending her more of a message than words could ever do. Perhaps you can just give her some supportive literature, which might motivate her? I do understand the resentment though because my partner is a smoker and often times I want to scream "don't you see what smoking has done to mom" but I have learned that forcing someone to quit does not work, at least from my experience. Your mom might be different - maybe she would respond to some hard love? Either way, I'm sorry that you have to watch your mom doing this to herself - it's very hard. Congrats again though to you on your quit!!!

{{{Kim}}} I am so sorry for your pain and anguish! I wish there was something that I could say to ease your mind and heart but I know nothing will really suffice. May the love you have for your mom give you peace and sustain you during this very difficult time... Diane

Hi Lindy, I'm sorry to hear about Mike's hearing! The problem could be related to the radiation treatments or to an isolated event too. About 12 years ago, I woke up and had tremendous ringing in my ear that lasted for most of the day, and by day's end, I was totally deaf in my ear. In my case, they said it was caused by some virus that attacked the inner nerve. In a lot of cases though, people will get their hearing back and I sure do hope that this is the case for Mike!!

Carleen - there is not much more that I can add that others haven't so eloquently said, but I wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for all the struggles and pain that you and Keith have had to endure in such a short period of time. And all of what you are feeling is ok, let it all out, and then you will rise up again to meet the challenges. Hold onto Him, and when you are weak, He will carry you! Peace be with you, Diane

I am very sorry about the passing of your wonderful husband! May you have peace knowing that Jim's physical battle is over, and he is now resting comfortably and without pain in heaven! May peace and love sustain you and your family during this very difficult time.

Nancy, I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad and how hard things are right now for you! I don't have any specific advice but wanted to let you know that I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. The only thing I can suggest is that you "follow your heart" as far as what to do.... Hoping and praying you find a solution that works for all of you!

Dear Tina, I am so sorry to hear that your mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer!! You are not alone, all of here know what you are experiencing, and can validate how you are feeling. I hope your mom will follow your advice and get a second opinion at Mayo!! The amount of information that you must take in and how fast you must educate yourself when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer is incredibly stressful but this forum is full of information that should be very helpful in getting the answers that you need. All the best wishes for your mom and the rest of your family. This battle has so many ups and downs, and one lesson that I have learned is to "Keep Hope Alive"..even when it all looks grim. All the Best! Diane

TAnn - prayers and thoughts coming your way! I hope you will start to feel better and get good news regarding the lumps on your breast!

Hi Welthy - it sounds like your husband is a real warrior! I hope he continues to get stronger each and every day!

Hi Deeswi, welcome and thanks for sharing your good news, which is encouraging to all of us here! Wishing you continued good health...

Hi Jen, welcome from a relative newbie too and thank you for sharing your story and your faith. I remember talking to my dad when my mom was first diagnosed with lung cancer, at that time I was very angry with God for "allowing" this to happen because only 3 months before, my family had to bury a second brother (first brother died in 1994). Mom is a very deeply religious person and I couldn't imagine that she would have to endure battling with cancer after having just buried her second son - it didn't seem fair! But one day when I was with my dad, he said "please don't say anything bad about God because it upsets mom", and in my tears I blurted something negative about not knowing how mom could trust God and he said "it's times like these when you really need to have faith". And then when I would talk to mom, she would say "i'm not mad at God, he didn't do this to me, I did it to myself". After the first week or two of dealing with mom's diagnosis, it suddenly occured to me that my family wasn't being punished and that bad things do happen to very good people. I knew I had the choice to either let anger destroy me, or I could let God in to sustain me during this very trying time. Thankfully I chose the latter... May God continue to bless and nourish you Jen T, and everyone here, who is battling this horrendous disease!

Thank you all again - we will certainly be pushing for some type of adjunctive chemo for mom!

Linda661, I just read your signature and saw that you are an only child...and man, I can't imagine how you are handling this alone, or do you have other relatives/friends helping you? We're fortunate to have 3 siblings and my father (although it's hard for him because he has Parkinsons) involved in the process with my mom, and to take turns doing this and that! I'm sorry that your mom has to be on continous oxygen too! My mom is only allowing herself to use no more than 2 liters continous oxygen because she is determined not to be dependent on it. Mom really labors just to move from her chair to the bathroom (about 15 feet) and the oxygen rep told her that she really should turn up the oxygen to 3 or 4 when she is moving around, but she refuses to do so. Bless her heart though - her determination and fight is what she will need to beat this thing! I also can relate to when you said your mom was being "mean" to you at some point. My mom was like that on and off for the past two weeks but seems to be leveling out now. She would get snappy and then feel so bad and apologize, but we told her that she had every right to be angry. We want her to express her emotions because she oftens keeps everything inside. Thanks again..and all the best to you and your mom! Diane

Thank you Maryanne, and the rest of the gang, who have made me feel so welcome already! Maryanne, we don't know yet if mom will have chemo. When she had her first checkup with the surgeon last Friday, he said he didn't think she would need it but we should find our more today when she goes back to see him again. My family is new to this process but we all feel like it would be safer if she gets some chemo "just in case" and no matter what the surgeon tells us today, we will have mom followup with an oncologist soon...

Dear Eppie, I was so touched by the tribute and memorial to your dad - it is so obvious that he was a remarkable man and loved by so many. I don't think I've ever seen a family pull together like yours did during your dad's battle and at the end of his life, and to celebrate his life. I have read a lot of your postings, and the deep love that you have for your dad would always shine through. I am so sorry that your dad had to leave you in the physically sense, but I a confident that your love and that of your family's will always keep him so very close in spirit. Love never dies...your dad was as blessed to have you as his daughter as you were to have him as a father. Treasure this mutually wonderful gift of love that you shared and carry it with you always. Peace be with you during this very difficult time! Diane

Thank you all for the warm welcome and words of encouragement, and good wishes for mom's recovery. I hope to become a more integral/participating member of this wonderful group. Gail - my mom was originally diagnosed by Lankenau hospital, but then referred to Dr. Larry Kaiser (lung surgeon) down at the Hospital of the University of Penn by an oncologist/cancer treatment center (in Doylestown), where she had gone for a second opinion. She had surgery at Univ. of Pa and now has follow-up care with them (until the air leak closes) but for the other preliminary tests and such before surgery, she went Central Montgomery (formerly North Penn). In many ways, dealing with mom's cancer has made me appreciate life so much more, and with all the hardships during this time, I have also felt so blessed in a lot of ways too, to have the love of family and friends. And I have never felt closer to my family then I do today...