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Posts posted by LindaMRG

  1. That is exactly what happened when my father was diagnosed in '03. My search for support sent me to a different message board where I met our great friend JudyB who directed me here!

    And now I still check in and grieve with you in this section. Even after all these years. Even though I dont know many of the members anymore. I still feel a connection here.

    Sometimes I will answer a post because I feel I can relate to what some is saying and I'll want to help. Then, I'll delete my response because I feel I have nothing to offer because my heart is still so heavy. So I have to say I receive more support here by reading your posts than I return.

    This board is a gift.

  2. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. There are just no words.

    I agree with what someone said, dont keep looking for what made it go quicker. It doesnt matter. There was nothing you could have done differently that wouldve produced a different outcome. We are never ready, there is never enough time. The doctors can only guess.

    And, yes, you never realize how much you can miss someone.

    Just know there are others out there that do understand.


  3. ((((((((Katie)))))))))

    There was a time I could say to you, "I know how you feel", now I can only say "I cant imagine how you must feel" now having lost both parents.

    I know that everyone grieves differently. Could the problems with siblings be due to different ways of grieving. I know between my two sisters and I, we have different ways of coping.

    After my father passed, I had a terrible time going back to their house. My sisters thought that was insensitive of me. Eventually I went to keep peace, but it was always sickening for me.

    My grief still has a lot of anger because of my father only being 64; having fought lymphoma twice only to turn around and get lung cancer; only being a grandpa (which he loved being) for 11 years.

    I hope Im making sense. What Im trying to say is different issues have come up between us because we are dealing with our grief differently. We have always been close, but still handle our sadness differently. Its not the same as you were describing, but I was wondering if how your siblings are grieving differently than you, could be contributing to the issues.

    Im always thinking about you, my friend.


  4. I, too, remember Ray and have thought of him often. He was there for me when I needed inspiration during my father's battle with lung cancer. I am so truly sorry for his family.

  5. Oh Don,

    I only check in from time time so I am seeing this about a month and a half later, but oh how sorry I am about Lucie. You are right when you say she no longer has lung cancer. At my father's funeral, in his eulogy I said that now he had won his battle with lung cancer because it couldnt hurt him anymore.

    The same with Lucie, she is free.

    No words can ease your grief but I was truly sorry to read this tonight.

  6. Most of you wont remember me, but some will. Just to let you know Im thinking about you especially during the holidays. I miss my father every day of my life, but especially the holidays and most especially Christmas Eve. That was our most festive holiday with food, music, gifts, family. It will never be the same. For such a quiet man, its so silent without him.

    There is a book I read recently, "90 Minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. He talks about being in heaven for "90 minutes" after a car crash. Its the first bit of comfort Ive been able to find. You might want to look for it in your local bookstore.

    Wishing each one of you well during this season and always.

  7. My dad had shoulder pain and after many different tests to find the reason, they had to conclude that it was the way the tumor was resting. The pain was in his right shoulder and the tumor was in the right lung. Just thought you might want to ask doc about that. He wore a pain patch and that helped.

  8. Dear Gay,

    First I want to express my condolences on your loss of DeanCarl.

    It sounds like his passing was peaceful.

    I want to let you know that DeanCarl was a great help to me when my father was placed in hospice care. I never forgot how nice he was to me. I wanted you to know that. Since my father's passing, I was not on the board much, but when I did come on, I would always try to see how DeanCarl was doing.

    It sounds like you and DeanCarl had something really special.

  9. Hi Don and Lucie,

    Call onc and see if he can prescribe something. I remember my father taking these certain lozenges when he had stem cell that were good. There are several options your onc can tell you about. Im always thinking of Lucie.

  10. " He said that he looked around and saw so many tears for Don, but he wanted us to know that every one of us sitting in our chairs were dying, and Don was the one that was living. I hope this helps others, too. "

    Wow!! So simple, yet I never thought of it that way. Also, Im so sorry for your very recent loss.

  11. Yes, Cathy, the "new normal". Life just is never, ever the same. I miss my father every single day. Your mom sounds a lot like mine. I hope you got through the anniversary with a lot of support.

  12. Dear Ginny,

    Its unbelieveable that its been a year, isnt it. I lost my father, but a lot of what you said reminds me of how my mother feels dealing with our loss. We, too, grieve for what we feel he is missing out on as my children (whom he adored) get bigger, when they play the piano (which he loved), and most of all my sister's wedding.

    Im so glad you have such a great support system and had all those invites to honor the anniversary of your Duke.

  13. Hi Kim,

    I wanted to respond to your post because I can really empathize with you. My "baby" sister (9years younger than me) got married on June 26 and my father was not there to walk his "baby" down the aisle. He passed away in March 04 from lung cancer. I read a petition in church for him and we had a special tribute to him at the reception. I admired your post about how you feel your mom was there and wanted you all to be happy. Youre a good example for those of us who have a hard time being in that place.

    I just had to reach out and let you know I understand how hard that day mustve been for all of you.

  14. Katie,

    Ive been meaning to write you again, so Im glad I found your post tonight.

    How wonderful you finished your father's special project. There is such reward in that, isnt there? To know you finished something that was important to him.

    I did that for my father too. He had been working on putting all his 8mm movie film of us when we were kids on videotape and DVD. Last summer I finished the whole project for him. Like your dad, it was a project meant to be a gift. Because thats what those dads were like, always thinking of others. Even their projects were to benefit their family.

    Like you, when I look at it completed on the shelves, there are days I get angry or sad that he is not here to see it finished. He, too, had waited so long for retirement to do all these things.

    How wonderful Hunter has this special gift from his grandpa.

  15. Dear Connie,

    Although Im just seeing these after a couple of weeks, Im still happy to find you here in GOOD NEWS! You continue to be an inspiration and hope to all battling this disease.

    Im so happy for you, Connie.

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