kristicaregiver

Grace, big hugs to you. That is a huge tremendous load. Do you have help with the kids. You need to get some rest even if it's sleeping with your husband. Is it guilt that is wearing on you, lack of sleep, perhaps resentment towards this nasty disease. If so; try to admit it out loud to a safe person other than your hubby. Because if you don't it will manifest into something else and rear it's ugly head later. I only say that as a mom who cared for my mom and left my husband to care for my two girls for 4.5 mos and it was so hard and you are trying to be supermom and do the right thing when really it's killing you inside. Just know it's ok to feel all that you are. You are the catalyst of the family and that's a huge load. Wish we could all help you carry it. Hugs, K

Hi my name is Kristi. My mom had mets to the brain as well. It started as a vision problem and from all of the homework I had been doing I knew it had spread. Her brain mets were so small that I'm sure they didn't HAVE TO do radiation, but since it's what onco radiologists do, they say let's do it. They put her back on the Dexamethasone which shrunk the inflammation in her brain and other tumors and she felt the best she ever had. But beware, they have huge personality side effects and cause other awful side effects but knowing my mom's outcome the few days of Yaahoo we had with her were worth it. How many days after radiation did you notice changes. Something that really helped us was Nattokinase because they had her on blood thinners for PE (pulmonary embollism) and DVT(deep vein thrombosis). Well, coumadin and heparin; they are pretty much rat poison I found and they don't dissolve blood clots. So I found Nattokinase which your doc won't like but I said who cares it's better than rat bait. It's a natural derived soybean enzyme that doesn't interfere with anything but what it does is help circulation and dissolve clots. You can buy it online just don't purchase the Natto-K, that has vit k which builds clots. Anyways, it improved my mom's overall well being for a short time. Would have got it sooner, just didn't know Her pain in her chest went away, pain in her groin went away and she felt a little better overall which didn't say much but anything was a miracle for us. Bless you. A great reading book is Final Gifts, really helps understand the thinking of people with illess.

Terrye, I think even though we can think semi-logically during this time. Our mothers can only do what they know is best. I had a doctor early on that knew my mother tell me the week of diagnosis to not "let them" do chemo and radiation and that it would be fast and furious and just go for pain manangement but I couldn't tell her that? She did opt for chemo and rad which really didn't benefit her except to make her THINK that she was doing something to participate in the fight. Because she was so young, 61, it seemed logical to her. Take a deep breath and just respect her wishes, whatever they may be. Hugs, Kristi

Hi Linda, I had to fill one out in the hospital for my mom and actually many hospitals will have one for you to fill out and sign at your convenience. This is the kind that you can either have a notary sign or witnesses that are not relatives. It can be as limited as what to do with mom in the event of an emergency in the hospital and perhaps you've stepped out to lunch to what to do with her housing/finances. It is wise to talk about it while she is of healthy mind. As hard as it sounds, it is good to get that ugly stuff out of the way and move on to more proactive things like healing. My name is Kristi and I am my mom's primary caregiver, she is 61, diagnosed 3 weeks ago with stage IV NSCLC with mets to sternum and tailbone. I don't know what is worse about this disease, the pain or the nausea. My mom was very healthy, a Non Smoker, active...and then boom. She cannot be left alone, is nauseous all the time, is a big clot risk, has been in the hospital for 10 days in/out for clots and low temp/blood pressure. I just can't find a good combo of drugs to make her comfortable. She's in that "I just can't find somewhere comfy to lay" stage. And is vomitting anything I give her The onco pharmacist called me today and told me my mom had nausea because she is constipated...GEEZ. I am just numb to all of this but putting on a happy face for my mom because I want her to fight this. She is too young. Sincerely, Kristi