crystleshoe
-
Posts
273 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by crystleshoe
-
-
kudos to us
in GRIEF
kudos to all of us here for making it thru the holidays. As the season started we were all wondering if we could do it but we did it and came out the other side. Thats not to say it was easy and I know for myself there were many tears and many hours spent missing my mom and wishing she were still here with us but I think she would be proud that together as a family were are strong enough to survive the storms. Thank you all so much for your words and support through the year and thanx to Katie for creating such a kind and wonderful place for us all.
-
Stacey
Yesterday was a rough day for a lot of us here. I have no words of wisdom on how to make things easier as Ive yet to figure that out but I will tell you that sometimes I do just curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry and sometimes it helps and sometimes it does not. I hope that the rest of this holiday season passes gently for you.
-
Teri is right. No one has any right to tell you to move on. Move on to what and to where? You take your time with your grief and if no one likes it then tough luck for them. I am sorry you have all the other stuff going on too. Be gentle to yourself. it will all turn out as it should.
-
yeah this new reality does suck. Thank goodness for alcohol (hahahaha). I had Baileys in my coffee christmas eve while I was wrapping presents (till 3am) and then had a nice bottle of wine with my sisters. Even my dad(who never drinks) had a couple of 7 and 7's. I guess we do what we gotta do and if that means numb the pain a little bit for 1 day then so be it. Wishing you all good things for the new year.
-
Heavy sighs
in GRIEF
I have bee thinking of you today and I am so glad to hear that the day was ok for you. My Mom passed away on Jan 13 also so we are kinda in the same place. I understand the pain. It is the hardest thing I have ever been through. You are in my prayers tonite and Im hoping that time will only make things eaisier. The airplane idea sounds great and I'll have my bags all packed next year. It would be so awesome for us all to trade stories of our loved ones.
-
I have been having a tough time with christmas this year. I put everything off till the last minute (maybe the day wouldn't come if I ignored it?) This is the first xmas without Mom and that means we are almost at the 1 year mark of her death ( I am finding that hard to swallow too.) As I was shopping there were so many things I saw that I thought would be great for her and then I rememberd shes not here. I feel cheated because last xmas she was so sick and couldnt really enjoy the day. I am so afraid that I will only be able to remember the bad times and forget all of the good years we had before. I am also missing my daughter this year...she went to Kansas City with her boyfriend to spend the holidays with his family because his Grandad is not in good health and may not make another year and while I do understand it still sux. I am missing the two greatest women in my life and Christmas isn't the same without them. And while I know that things could be so much worse there were a few times this past week that the grief was unbearable. We are home now and the day is done and we all survived the First Christmas without my mother. I have been thinking of you all and I hope the day passed gently for you and I guess the bright side is that we will never have to do this first again. Our loved ones are probably having a huge Christmas dinner in Heaven and watching us to make sure were ok.
-
yup happens all the time. I will think of something and want to call mom or ill say to my self "Ill find out what mom thinks". I guess it take a lot of getting used to to not have them here with us
-
I too feel your pain. There are so many things left undone and unsaid with my mom. I always thought there would be more time. I was busy working and raising my family and doing all the other things that get in the way and now its too late to go back and spend more time with her. I have no answers for you as I am still trying to navigate my way thru this thing called grief, all I can say is hold on tight and just make it thru 1 day at a time. I am pretty sure our moms wouldnt want us to be sad all the time so I am trying to find some joy in some of the holiday season but sometimes the sadness overwhelms me and I just have to have a good cry and then Im ok for a little while longer. So cry when you want and know that eventually it will pass.
-
i am so sorry you are having a tough time right now but just remember God does have the final say and He knows how they behaved. I truly believe in the saying "what goes around comes around" so Im sure they will get what they deserve. I know that you will never forget but maybe someday you can forgive.
-
I am so sorry. I am praying for the day when no one else ever has to post messages such as this. I hate the fact that cancer steals away so many of our loved ones.
-
I am sending my sympathies also. I am glad that you were able to be with her and that you are doing ok for now.
-
Well our first thanksgiving without Mom has come and gone. I think she would be happy with the way the day went. Some things were missing and I couldnt bring myself to make them but I guess no one really noticed. There were a few times when I had to leave and go have a cry for a minute or 2 but I guess I kept it together ok. My dad seemed extra sad today and I know he is missing her so much. I wish i could make the pain go away for him but I cant even do that for myself. I am having such a hard time with the fact that I will never get to spend a holiday with my mom again. Some times I think "wait a minute this cant be true,it must be a bad dream". It seems like I miss her more and more as time goes on. I hope that everyone had a bearable day and didnt eat toooooo much (hahaha).
-
Thanks I needed that today too.
-
Nick you have every right to rant all you want. I swear its like some people speak with no brain in their head. Unless you have lost your mother you cna never fully understand the impact that has on your whole life and some people just dont get it. I hope you have a nice thanksgiving despite all the sadness in your soul.
-
It is over
in GRIEF
I am so sorry for your great loss. I cant wait for the day when there are no more deaths from this wicked disease. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
-
I just knew you guys would "get" it. Heres how my day went after I lost my cross. I was supposed to go to job shadow at a new pharmacy (the owner has been trying to get me to work for him for about three months). I had been putting him off cuz I wasn't ready to leave a place where I have been for 10 years. So after my cross went down the drain I was up all night crying and thinking that all sorts of bad things will happen now. I woke up paralyzed by a fear that things would never be the same again. How could I even think of taking a new job? Then I realized that things couldn't get much worse than losing my mom and things haven't been the "same" for quite a while now. And besides my kids are 24,22, and 16 and they have a whole lot of decisions left to make in their life and what kind of example will I set for them if I let this paralyze me. Also I look at it as my Moms way of telling me it is time to move forward and I always listen to my mom. So I went and spent the day there and it was great. He does a ton of charitable work and invests a lot of time in the community and all the people there are great.
My daughter and her boyfriend came over around 1:00-am the night I lost my cross and he took some of the pipes apart and couldn't find it. Also my husband( who doesn't do well with emotional stuff) went shopping and bought me a new cross. He said he knows its not the same but maybe if I have a cross around my neck it will be like mom is watching over me (she always wore a cross.) I never in million years could have imagined how hard this would be and how much I would miss her. One day at a time I guess.
-
I put a post in inspirational by mistake and it should have been here. How can i move it.
-
this should have been in the greiving forum. I am so sorry, I dont know how it got here.
-
Ive been wearing my moms cross on my neck ever since the day she died and tonite in the shower the chain broke and before I knew it it was gone. I know its just a piece of jewelry but she had it for so long and its the last piece of jewelry she wore and it was the only thing I really wanted and now it is lost forever. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and like now she is really gone. Yesterday was her birthday and I went and put balloons on her grave and talked to her like she was there with me and now here I am sobbing and being hysterical over nothing. I just dont know how ill make it thru the holidays if I cant handle stuff like this. It seems like nothing will ever be "right" again, like I will always be sad and missing her. And now I am so mad that anyone even has to ever go thru this. I hate lung cancer!!!!!!!!
-
Kelly
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I guess a whole bunch of us will be needing some extra prayers over the next few months. I am sure you wont be the only one missing your mom and it sounds like this baby will be surrounded by tons of love so if you need a few minutes to yourself for some "missin mom time" I am thinking everyone will understand. I guess all we can do is take it all as it comes and try to deal the best we can.
-
Thanx so much you guys. I think I have decided to write my mom a letter and tell her how much I appreciate all of the life lessons she taught me and how much I miss her and all the other things i wish that I could have told her. Im going to attach it to a balloon and let it go at her grave. I am going to do this all alone because I want it to be just for her (and cuz I hate to cry in front of other people).
Nick... great idea to do something she loved. She always made crossstich quilts for a babys first birthday and there are a few babies who wont get one this year so I think that i am going to finish the ones she started for them and put her "made with love from Mimi" tag on them. I hope that she will guide me as I havent done cross stitch before.
-
I looked at the calendar today and realized that my moms birthday is next Sat and was struck by the thought that I hadnt got her present yet and at the same instant was hit by the reality that I didnt have a mom to buy a present for this year. Last year she was in the hospital but she was still here for us to celebrate her day. How will I ever make it thru the holidays? Sometimes my family just continues on as if things havent changed and I feel like I am the only one still crying to myself in the car and in the shower or anytime I have a few minutes to think of how much I miss her and still need her. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can still celebrate her day(and the holidays) and not let the sadness overwhelm us.
-
My dad just got notice that an apartment will be available to him in about 3 months in the senior housing development in the same town as our church,his friends,his barber and his favorite restaurant. It will be so great for him and it will eliminate alot of driving and make his life so much easier. I am so mad because this should be a move he makes with my mom. They should be enjoying retirement together and because of #*&*^%&* cancer he is alone. Mom doesn't get the chance to enjoy this new place and i am so pissed. I am so sad because we will finally have to clean out her things. Her bedroom is just as she left it on the day she went to the hospital last Sept and now I feel like we will all be moving on and I am so afraid that she will be forgotten. It seems like I miss her more as time goes on. I went to dads to do some house work and laundry for him on Sunday and he wasnt home from church yet so it was the first time since the day of her death that I was alone in the house and all I could do was touch her things and cry. All I can say is ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH I hate cancer!
-
I too know the feeling. Its been 9 months for me since my mom passed away and some days it feels like its all brand new. I guess the only thing we can do is take it all one day(and one tear) at a time.
2007 Calender
in GRIEF
Posted
I understand, In 10 dyas it will be one year since I lost my Mom and I also have a list of appointments,treatments and all the notes I took from the doctor visits. I also still sleep with the last blanket that she used. and sometimes when I visit my dad I just stand there in the house and miss her so much. take your time and keep anything that you cant bear to get rid of(in my case thats everything). Know that we are here for you and that we "get it"