crystleshoe
-
Posts
273 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by crystleshoe
-
-
I also regret that we didnt talk about the whole death thing with my mom. We were trying to keep her spirits up an I think she was doing the same for us so no one ever talked about "it". I also regret that we didnt spend much time talking about her life, when she was a kid, before she had kids etc. We know some of the stories of her life but I am sure there are so many more.Because we always thought there would be time for all of that it was not a priority even after her dx other things got in the way. So my advice is to spend as much time as you can with them and talk,talk,talk.
-
I think maybe its survival not denial. i too like to be alone with my grief which may be why everyone thinks I am so strong and can handle anything. I hope you like you new"do". I bet your mom would love it.
-
Thank you all so much for your thoughts on this it definitely give me some things to think about. I have also been to the hospital where my mom passed away and it was tough,but I made it, but for some reason the nursing home is just one of those things I cant seem to get past. I called my Dad to see what he thought and he and i were crying and crying on the phone. He gets it. It's true that I am always the strong one and I feel like I am bailing out by not going and I should be able to just suck it up and deal with it. I sooooo want to be there for her I am just afraid that all Ill see are the bad times with my mom and I dont think that I am ready for that. I hate the way cancer has changed my life. On a good note my dad is doing fine and although he is still on oxygen after his bout with pneumonia he feels very good. We have a follow up appointment with his doc on june 4 so we are hoping to be done with the oxygen.
-
There are too many of us who understand and feel your pain. It has been a short time and everyone says that time will heal. I think that things are so different with the loss of a parent because they shape who we are and no matter our age we always need them. Be easy on yourself and give yourself some time.
I love the photo of your mom...what a great smile !!
-
wow!!~ that is a great story
-
My mother-in-law fell last week and broke her hip. She went into surgery and that went fine.After 2 days in the hospital they moved her to a rehab/nursing home. Well she is in the same one that my mom was in during the last month or so of her life. My husband was mad because I said that I could not go there and that I could not see the other mother in my life at that place. He says its only a building and that I am not being fair and supportive to him.( he only came 2 times too see my mom there cuz he couldnt handle seeing her so sick). I tried to explain to him that he really has no idea of the hell that I went thru and that for once I can not be the "rock" of the family. My mother in law understands but I feel like I should be there for her but then I think of going there and it makes me so sad and i dont think I could even bring myself to physically walk into the building. I cant believe how much cancer and my moms death have affected all aspects of my life. I miss my mom so much more cuz i know she would know what to do,
-
Katie thanks so much for the laugh I needed it.
-
Missy
I am so sorry for your pain. and I am so pissed off that cancer has stolen another mother. Keep good thoughts of her in your heart and try to forget all the bad times. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
-
Oh Lisa
I am so sorry for all you have gone thru in such a short amount of time. I am glad that you were able to be there for your mom and I am sure she knows you were there. Continue to come here to talk,vent,rant or rave or whatever you need. There are so many (too many) of us who totally understand the pain you are feeling. Be gentle to yourself as this greif process continues for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts today.
-
Add my prayers for your family.
-
christine and lori are right this is a nighmare. I wish there were a way to wake you up from it. I am glad you have found this place as it has been a great source of comfort for me and I hope it will be for you as well. No one should ever have to deal with this monster, not even once. Feel free to vent all you want.
-
Its been that kind of day for me too, It seems every where I turn in my house is something to remind me of my mom. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but I am so so so sad for all the time I wont have with her. There is no one that can compare with a mother.
-
I can only say that I am glad I am not alone. I am sorry that any of us are here and it sux but I am relieved to hear that I am not the only one afraid to NOT feel the pain.
-
I so understand where your coming from. Lung cancer took my mother from us in January and every day I relive those last days with her. I spend a few minutes every day crying and am never sure when it will it will hit me. I think how can it only be 4 months when it feels like a lifetime without her. Each day I also try to remember the good times with her and Ive been able to take out some photos and smile a little bit when I see her face. They say time will help and I do believe that this is true but I sure wish I could hurry it up a bit. This is a great place to come because we all understand and pass no judgement. We all have dealt with some type of lung cancer and the pain it causes so please come back and let us help you through some of it.
-
I just wanted to say welcome to you. I am hoping you get some answers soon because not waiting. sending positive thoughts your way tonight.
-
This is my first mothers day without my mom too. Even though I am a mother my self I told my family to not even mention it because my heart hurts so much from missing my mom. I am hoping that tommorrow will be a better day for you. I am so sorry for your pain, if helps at all just know that we are here for you
-
sarah unfortunatly there are too many of here that understand your pain. I am hoping we can all make it thru the day and I am going to try to think of only good memories of my mom tommorrow.
-
I agree. It would be nice to meet everyone in person and tell the stories of our moms lives. You all will be in my thoughts too. Maybe we could start a thread to tell our stories then it will be like we are together in some way.
-
Well my dad is out of the hospital now and staying with me until we see the doctor next Tues. They say it is just pneumonia but he had to come home with oxygen. He is tired and he has aged so much since my moms dx. I just found out that he hasnt been taking his medication the right way since mom got sick( she used to make sure he did).They had been married 50 years and I think hes kinda lost now without her. They should be planning their yearly trip to Maine and taking long weekends together. Dad is getting ready to retire and now he has no one to enjoy it with. Mothers day is coming and I have no mother. There are so many things that she should be here for and she is not here. I am so pissed off that cancer still seems to have such a hold on my life. Not a day goes by that I dont think about it and now with Dad being sick I am so afraid it will be the same thing all over again. My mom should be here to take care of him and she is not, Thats what she did best and now I have to try to do it and I am not as good at it as she was. I know that maybe he would have gotten sick anyway but I cant help but think that its just another nasty side effect of cancer. not only does it suck the life out of the patient but it sucks the life from the people who loved them. I HATE LUNG CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I agree. I just cant stand anymore mothers day hype. I mean, I know Im a mother and I know that this year for the first time ever i dont have my mother so lets just fast forward to monday and be done with it. I volunteered to work on sunday and told my husband to not even mention it . I hope that it passes quickly for you all.
-
went to see dad last night and he looks good. It was very scary to see him in the hospital. he is of course in the same one my mom was in so I was a little freaked out. As of now he will be in for the weekend and the ct scan shows only pneumonia. I had to go by their house on the way to see dad and it was the first time I had been there since Mom passed away. I was shocked when I walked in because everything is just as she left it. Her books still on the table open to the same page, her laundry still in a basket and all the stuff from the hospital left exactly where we put it down. It was so hard. I guess it may be time to talk about doing some cleaning up for Dad, just dont know if I can. Dad said that he might take the next week or so off work and come stay here with me to rest and recoup which will be good so I wont worry so much. Thank you all for the positive thoughts and Ill keep ya posted.
-
Cell Phone
in GRIEF
we do understand. It is more than a phone. Its a connection to him. sending positive thoughts your way.
-
hugs from me too. I know it cant be easy so just take your time and do what you feel up to.
-
Kim I am sorry you were having a bad day yesterday I am hoping today is a little easier for you. You are entitled to have some bad days, You MOM was stolen from you and there is nothing in the world that can compare to that. You take your time with the healing process and if people dont like the way you are doing it then you should kick their a$$e$. (that might make you feel better.. lol ) Just know that we do understand and are here for you.
Newby, here
in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!
Posted
Wow you are awesome. Its great to hear of someone kickin cancer in the butt. Way to go