crystleshoe
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Posts posted by crystleshoe
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oh missy I am so sorry to hear your news. Lori and Val are right. Ther is no way to ever prepare for it. I thought that I had and when my mom passed away but I was not ready for the pain. All you can do is spend as much time with her as you can and have all the conversations that you have been putting off and most of all let her know how important she is too you. I put off a lot of conversations with my mom because I was afraid she would be sad and I didnt want her to think about dying(like she wasn't anyway. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Well It is snowing so hard in NH today. My mom hated snow and I do too so usually during a storm i would call her and ask how the weather was "down there"(only 45 minutes away) She would always say the same thing" pretty messy here how about there?' then we would talk and witch about how awful winter was and how we would love to live somewhere that it never snows. Then laugh because we both knew that we would never really choose to live anywhere but New England. I thought that I had made it thru a day without missing her until I thought to call to check on her and dad and make sure all was good.. and then ***SLAP*** reality strikes again. I cant bring myself to call Dad because Im afraid Ill cry and I dont want him to be sad and worry about me. I hate when reality hits!!!! Oh well maybe tomorrow will be a cry free day. One day at a time.
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I agree with Kate. I think I have even said to someone that I am 42 and I should be better able to deal with this but the truth of the matter is that no matter how old you are you are never ready to have your parents taken from you.This whole grieving thing... it bites!!!!! I hope that you can find a few moments of peace.
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larry
I love Liar Liar too. I can watch it a million times and still laugh my head off
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How is it that I remember every day of my moms illness and every conversation with every nurse or doctor , even what she wore to each appointment and I can relive those last days as if they were still happening but I cant remember to put the clothes from the washer to the dryer? go figure
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I love the thought of a happy place. Sometimes its hard to get there and other times its easy.
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That is awesome and I am glad that they were able to let you know about it.
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Thanks it did make me smile
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Traffic is the worst. Usually its because im running late so im stressed already
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I also can never say that my mom d***. If I have to tell someone that doesnt know I will say that mom was taken from us by lung cancer or that she passed on. Thanks for keeping me sane through all this . Maybe ill try saying that she was stolen and see what response I get.
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I hate it when someone tells me they are sorry for "the loss of your mom". It seems to me that I didn't "lose" her. I know right where I left her and I know where she is now. I do however feel like she was stolen from me. I " lose" my keys and sometimes my mind but I would never ever lose a person who was so important to me. I guess it would be weird if people said " I am sorry for the theft of your mom"
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Please dont feel bad for posting good news. The way i look at it is every day that a lung cancer patient survives is an opportunity for doctors to learn more about this awful disease. I love to read the good news and on some of my bad days I read them and I think" 1 more point for us and 1 less for the disease. The good news helps us get thru the bad
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I am sobbing as I respond. My mom passed away on Jan 13th also. I have no answers for you as I am still trying to make it thru a day without crying for my mom. My mother was a member of our church and before she got sick was there faithfully for whatever was going on, my dad still attends faithfully. I had gotten away from it because I moved out of state and it is a 45 minute ride, anyway 2 weeks ago I thought i would surprise dad and go to church I cried thru the whole service( i dont think I have ever been there without mom except for the funeral) and had to leave once, I went back again this past Sunday and for some reason it made me feel like she was still with me. I was with people who loved her and knew how special she was. I dont know if it would help you to be somewhere that you spent good-times with her but I dont think it can hurt. I know how much the pain can sap your strength and make you feel like you cant go on but being a mother myself I know I would want my daughter live her life and enjoy all the good in the world. I am 42 and you would think I could handle it but I think that no matter the age losing your mom is devastatingly painful. I hope you find some peace soon.
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Thanks for the info Fred. I know when my mom was sick one of my worries was making sure she got to the appointments. It was hard cuz my Dad still works and I live in NH and she was in MA so we did a lot of juggling and I often thought about how people who dont have family around manage. I really want something good to come from my Mom's illness and passing. So who knows maybe Ill be the positive in someone's awful battle with cancer and she raised me to be kind and caring so Ill be honoring her in some way too.
Cheryl
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Missy
I am so sorry you are at this point. I was where you are at 2 months ago when we had to decide to stop all treatments and remove the ventilator for my Mom. I cried and cried and cried and prayed and prayed and prayed but what it came down to was that we knew mom would not want to live as she was and she was afraid of suffering for a long time. I wish I had some magic words to take away the hurt. I say it every day "I hate cancer." The pain it causes is unlike anything I ever experienced before and would never wish on my worst enemy. I hope thing get ok for you soon
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Hi everyone
I have been spending some time on the American Cancer Society web site and think I have decided to do a Relay for Life(18 hours of walking around a track) I was thinking of how many people I know that have been somehow touched by some kind of cancer and I feel like I need to do something. There is an obvious need for more money and this might be a chance to get some people more aware of lung cancer, They have one at the High school that my mom graduated from and I thought that it will be a nice tribute to her, Anyway I was hoping that someone has done this and can give me some info Also if anyone has ever done ACS Roads to Recovery which pairs people willing to drive patients to treatment appointments if you could let me know how that worked for you that would be a big help
Thanks Cheryl
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hi
I am sorry that you have to be here. My mom did 10 rounds of radiation to shrink her tumor and help with the pain. It did seem to help her some.
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good point nick
I forgot about all the other illnesses that we have already found a vaccine or cure for. hmmmmmmmm, a vaccine for cancer now that would be impessive
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good point nick
I forgot about all the other illnesses that we have already found a vaccine or cure for. hmmmmmmmm, a vaccine for cancer now that would be impessive
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does anyone think maybe cancer was always around but years ago people just died of "natural causes" and we didnt have the knowledge to know it was cancer? It does seem as if cancer rears its ugly head more often now.
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I love that poem. I hung it up in my moms room when we thought she would be coming home because I wanted her to know that cancer cant destroy everyhting. My dad still has it hanging.
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I also am addicted. I check in usually late at night when I cant sleep. I have gotten some great advice and tons of support. I dont know how anyone makes it though something like lung cancer without someplace like this. I thank god for all the people who keep it going.
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I know how you feel. Sunday I went to church for the first time since my mom died. I thought it would be a nice surprise for my dad. I was raised in the church(so its like family) and it is so important to my parents but I have never been there without my Mom, well I barely made it thru the front door and my dad was crying and I was crying and I cried thru the whole service. It was such an important part of her life and i just kept thinking that she wont be there to see my kids get married there (all 3 of her girls were married there) and she wont be there teaching sunday school and planning the picnic and all the other stuff she did. When she was sick I could hope that everything would be ok and she would be doing the things she loved again but since she has passed away( I still cant bring myself to say died) everything is just so "bizarre". I also wish I had just one more day with her so I could tell her how much I love her and how great she was. Its crazy that I spent so much time with her when she was sick and it was still not enough. javascript:emoticon(':cry:')
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I know how you feel I call my dad hoping that he doesnt answer so I can hear moms voice again. My mom had this tiny little black Coach purse that she loved, she had asked me to take it home when she was in the hospital so it wouldnt get ruined or stolen, I kept it on my dresser waiting to give it back to her when she came home but when she passed away i carried it to the wake and funeral, only my sisters and I knew that Mom would have wanted that bag to be there, I am still carrying that purse even though it is way to small and I cant fit all my stuff in it but when I think of using a different one I cant bring myself to do it. I guess its all the crazy little things we do that help keep us sane.
isnt it funny?
in GRIEF
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Isnt the way we react to things funny? I had to bring our main computer to be repaired today. So off I go thinking it will be a simple thing..my husband had alredy called and set things up so the man there says to me that my husband said not to backup the info on it as nothing was really that important and we had copies of stuff anyway then it hit me that I had photos of my mom on it. I practically bit the mans head off and told him that under no circumstances could I lose those photos. Anyway the thing is, I have all those on my other computer and on a disk but the thought of my moms photos being lost in cyberspace somewhere sent me into a panic. when I left I sat in the car and cried for a few minutes and I know he could see me and must have been thinking I was a loony toon.The look on his face was kinda amusing now that I think about it. I thought it was supposed to get easier with time (thats what they all say) I miss her so much. I feel like I should be ok and ready to be some help to someone else living this nightmare but I dont know.