bware21

I don't post this to say "lucky me," but post it simply to offer encouragement to anyone with lung cancer, specifically SCLC. Had a PET/CT scan last week and got a call from the doctor yesterday. Quote: "Tremendous results and the cancer has almost gone." And that's after just 3 cycles. When this started we opted for an aggressive chemotherapy schedule (6 cycles, 3 rounds per cycle). Optimism is cautious, but a giant leap in the right direction

I don't post this to say "lucky me," but post it simply to offer encouragement to anyone with lung cancer, specifically SCLC. Had a PET/CT scan last week and got a call from the doctor yesterday. Quote: "Tremendous results and the cancer has almost gone." And that's after just 3 cycles. When this started we opted for an aggressive chemotherapy schedule (6 cycles, 3 rounds per cycle). Optimism is cautious, but a giant leap in the right direction

Merry Christmas to you. Pray that your Dad gets relief from this insidious monster called cancer and that you guys can get your lives back to normal. Never give up -- miracles *do* happen. Bill

She's in a much better place -- enough said. Bill

Good for you -- absolutely the right attitude. I send my prayers and good wishes to you and your family, hoping that this Christmas triggers the start of a full recovery. Hang in there. Bill

Bollocks to cancer -- MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE

Judy, I agree with ERNROL ... once your venting is done with, let go of the frustration and concentrate on your well-being. Make yourself more important than any moron that might happen to cross your path ... of which there will be many. Bill

Paulette, I'm not sure if God is listening to me at the moment but I do hope my prayers for you and your family are answered. I can certainly understand your anger and frustration, and sometimes a little anger is helpful for the soul -- but try not to hang onto it. Instead, look at the many years you and your husband have had together as a blessing. And never give up on life. Never give up ... PERIOD. Bill

Wiesia, Good for you for finding this site. Your Dad will be just fine in Poland. Heck, half of Britain goes over there for medical treatment -- from plastic surgery to cancer. They'll get him under control. Just watch Bill

Thanks for the support and advice, Eppie. Rather odd that the title of my original post was "a giggle" and it ends up being a comedy of errors. I know we all make mistakes, but I'll be making damn sure I'm more careful in future. Thankfully Don is an understanding guy, but my error could just as easily have caused him distress. Bill

Hey Kim, Boy, are you an early riser. Me too, and at 4:30AM I can well understand how you could forget your own name let alone anything else. Hope you've managed to cut back on your smoking since you remebered. If not, there's always tomorrow. For some strange reason I've managed to keep to the plan. It's now 11:14AM and I've had just the 3 cigarettes -- that's not to say I'll succeed but so far so good. Oh yeah, I did get some help. Instead of getting up and heading for the coffee pot, which is my usual routine, I plonked myself in front of the TV and got engrossed in the Discovery Channel. I happened to flick on the TV during a docu-drama called Battle for Rome. Normally I don't like docu-dramas as the "drama" portion tends to cloud the facts, but this show is so well done it had me hooked. Ancient Rome has always been a strong interest of mine, ever since reading Suetonius, and the two episodes I saw this morning managed to get all the facts right as well as present the drama in splendid fashion. Now I have to do a search and find out if there's a box set of this programme available. For anyone interested in Anceient Rome but doesn't want to plough through the piles of literature out there, this is the best show I've seen since the BBC's I Claudius back in the 70's. Good luck, Kim -- keep me posted. Bill

Kim, No pressure here -- just do the best you can and let me know how it's going. I'll do the same. Can't ask for better than that. Bill

Don, Lucie looks like a fun lady and I'm sure she would have had a "giggle" about this. I can only apologize and thank you for getting me off the hook. Bill

Eppie, Thanks for the break, but still inexcusable on my part. I have no problem seeing the reality of my own situation (probably because it's unavoidable, otherwise I'm sure I'd avoid it), but I'm definately guilty of viewing the bigger picture offered by this site through a filter. I look at someone's photo and I look at the first few lines of their profile to see what it is they're dealing with ... but I'm hesitant to go to the end of the profile for obvious reasons (at least obvious to me). The joke is that most of the time it's the end of the profile that contains the good news, though sadly that's not always the case. I need to be willing to look at everything, otherwise what's the point? Bill

Don, I think it's about time I backed away from the message boards. Having just re-read your profile for the third time, there it is in plain sight. My only excuse is this: I've tended to "skim" over the profile sections because I don't want to focus in on anything that might be upsetting. A cowardly approach on my part, and one that has clearly backfired this time. Like I said, if I could delete this topic I would -- but I can't. Bill

Don, I've just been informed that your wife, Lucie, passed away some months ago. I was really saddened to hear that, and my apologies if any of my posts here seemed insensitive. If I could delete them I would. I have no doubt Lucie is still with you. Bill

Don / Lucie, I think I got confused here -- my congratulations to BOTH of you, it seems. I must have gotten out of bed too early this morning. You guys look like an adorable couple. Ain't many people can boast of a 47 year marriage. Bill

Don / Lucie, I misread -- my congratulations to you, Lucie, on YOUR ability to survive. A wonderful life, isn't it? Bill

Hey Don, The Devil couldn't afford me. By the way, congratulations to you on your ability to survive !!!!!!!!!!!! Bill

I knew I was in trouble when I signed with a new primary care physician, my last "medical" act before being diagnosed with lung cancer. To avoid giving away the identity of this person I won't specify male or female. Suffice to say, I had an uneasy feeling when I saw the name ... FAUST. How lucky was I? Bill

Hey Kim, To address your writing first: The main reason I ditched out of school at the age of 15 was because I was told I should forget about writing and think about a "proper" job, like coal mining -- and this was from a school that produced the odd statesman or two. The same attitude you experienced. It's as if to be a writer you must be successful, with success being defined by how much you earn and where you are published -- utter nonsense. It's the process of writing that brings the reward, not the end result. I've written some really awful stuff in my time but thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the process. And if there's one thing I know about words, it's this: nomatter how clever and cute you think you are when you put pen to paper, the words will have no meaning unless the sincerity is there to back them up. One of the reasons Dickens is my favourite author is simply because I know he never wrote a damn thing he didn't believe in. No doubt the same was true for Steinbeck and all the great writers. Offer any of them all the riches they could wish for and not one would write a word unless it meant something to them personally. For me, the best example of the worst form of writing is political speechwriting -- heavy in elegant variation and not an ounce of substance. Kim, your writing is powerful because the words reach out and touch the reader. And that's what they're supposed to do, nothing more. Write as much as you can. It exercises the brain and empowers the spirit Ah, that dreaded smoking thing: Here's the deal -- I did indeed start my regimen yesterday ... and failed from the onset. I had my first cigarette at 8:30AM, not 9:00AM as planned. I did manage to keep it at one per hour for the first 3 hours then fell right back into my old ways. Now I'm on Plan B (subsection IV, paragraph 5a), which is to stop this afternoon -- cold turkey, as you say. Already I suspect I've set myself up for failure ... otherwise why would I wait until this afternoon? I had considered "lying" to you and telling you that I would start the plan with you tomorrow (in the hope that it would get you on track), then I thought better of it -- this isn't the place for playing games. SPARK OF INSPIRATION: I already know my "cold turkey" idea for this afternoon isn't going to work, even though I thought the idea quite brilliant. So, how about you and me go back to Plan A commencing tomorrow (Monday)? But remember, you cannot have a cigarette before 9:00AM and must not smoke more than one per hour thereafter. Let's take it step-by-step and make this the rule until Friday (5 days). Come next Saturday morning, and assuming that we achieve this initial goal, we can then agree on the next step together. And by the way, this doesn't give you license to stay up all bloody night smoking, only to tell me "well, I did only smoke one per hour." I'll be honest about my progress (or lack of it) and you must do the same. The only flexibility in this plan is that -- at any time -- you are allowed to quit altogether, if by some miracle you get the urge and the strength to go for it (same for me). I know you can do it, Kim, because I know how much you want to. You won't be letting me down if you don't manage to stick 100% to the plan. To hell with that, we'll just start again. And in any case, even if it meant you reduced you smoking by just one cigarette a day then that in itself would be an achievement. Oh yeah, I wrote "IDIOT" on my pack of cigarettes, just to remind me of my own failings every time I reached for them. That didn't work, so now I'm going to write "CONGRATULATIONS" on the pack to let me know just how successful I intend to be.

Hey Aaron, This isn't going to be much use to you but I did get a giggle out of your post. A friend was kind enough to bring me some over. Watching me role a joint would have had you in fits of laughter. It was pathetic. The last time I smoked a joint I was a teenager. I didn't care for it then and it did nothing for me this time, so personally I don't bother with it. Why some are hesitant to talk about it, I have no idea -- seems to me whatever works for you is all that counts, but I'm not an expert. Maybe it affects the chemotherapy in a negative way? Then again, maybe not? Hope you can find an answer to the appetite problem. And a milk shake is always good Bill

Lilly -- I'm at a loss to understand why some doctors get it and some don't. It's one of the reasons my wife, Teri, does all the grunt work in my case (lucky me). I'm one of those people who can't tolerate incompetence and stupidity and I usually end up screwing myself over by telling people to go to hell. If it wasn't for Teri there wouldn't be a doctor in the country who would take me on as a patient. I'm not an angry person, but when it comes to things of this magnitude I demand a little more from the "professionals" than I'd expect at a Wall Mart checkout. Having dumped the responsibility for saving my life squarely on the shoulders of my wife, I have to admit I'm thankful we didn't have a divorce in the works when I got my diagnosis All I can say to you, Lilly, is remember who's really in control -- YOU. When it comes to information, take on board what benefits you and chuck the rest away. Some doctors are terrific. It's just hard to find them. But some are just plain idiots and I wouldn't have them washing the bird-s**t off my windows. By the way, I have the same problem with insurance companies Bill

Kasey -- I read your post in the MY STORY section. Wow, truly your life was spared by finding this site. At the same time, what a scary story. How can it be that medical opinions differ so? See one guy and order your casket. See another guy and order a drink. Go figure? Me thinks you had a Guardian Angel watching over you SEND HIM/HER OVER HERE -- Just kidding. I would have sent the following quote from Oscar Wilde to that uncaring doctor of yours: "We were as men who through a fen Of filthy darkness grope: We did not dare to breathe a prayer, Or to give our anguish scope: Something was dead in each of us, And what was dead was Hope." And then I would have sent him a wreath with the following note attached: "For your next patient." Bill

... I'm actually *not* sorry I'm here. I'm bummed that I have cancer, but I'm certainly not sorry for finding this Web site. In fact, I sent the link over to my sister in Spain (who does not have cancer, thank goodness) because I think it's inspirational for anyone. She responded to me just this morning. She admitted that she shed a few tears (which is never a bad thing) as she read through some of the posts -- not just mine, by the way -- and told me that she was humbled by the experience (never a bad thing). Katie and Rick -- the fact that you started this site when you "needed" to doesn't diminish the value of your effort in the slightest. I really don't want to embarrass you, but sometimes I think people tend to grossly underestimate the importance of the work they do and the impact it has on others. What you have created here is not only a life-saving vehicle for some, a soft pillow for others, but a magnificent tribute to your father. He must be very proud. Kasey -- I will be reading your story as soon as I've finished my ramblings here. Oh bugger, here I go again ... Death, of course, is a sensitive topic. I'll bet if I did a word search through this entire site the words "death" and "dead" would pop up very few times -- and that's understandable. But I was thinking about this the other day and I'm not entirely convinced that's a good thing. Though I dropped out, I went to a pretty good school in Manchester where they tried to teach me everything I needed to know about life and how to make the most of it -- no doubt my knowledge of Henry VIII has seen me in good stead However, not once did anyone teach me anything about death. And that's a damn shame. Now clearly, there's not a lot a teacher can say about the technicalities of death, but it strikes me that as children we would benefit more if *both* life and death were discussed in the classroom. The ancient Greeks had it right when they put an emphasis on philosophy. For goodness sake, even the Romans were jealous of the Greeks in that regard, which is why they nicked the concept. But down through the ages we seem to have lost the ability or the will to look at death for what it is -- part of the cycle of life. Today, it's all about living and very few of us are adequately prepared for dying, even though it's a process we all have to go through. Now, I'm as guilty as the next person for living my life with a total disregard for the fact that it could end in a heartbeat (literally). Sure, the idea of death pops in our heads every now and then, but how quickly we are able to expel it. Now where did that skill come from? Fear and ignorance, I suspect. When I sat by my mother's bed when she was dying, even though her eyes were closed and I had no idea if she was awake or asleep, I found myself telling her stories about the wonderful journey she was about to emabark upon -- obviously I was trying to make her feel better and ease the process of dying. Maybe I told a really good story for a change, but strangely, I found myself feeling just a little jealous. Here she was about to make that giant leap into the unknown and there was a part of me that wanted to go with her. So why am I talking about death here? Is it simply because I'm facing it? Possibly, but then so is everyone else on the planet (and other planets too, I dare say). It just strikes me that our inherent desire to live and experience the beauty of life, for as long as possible, has completely obliterated our ability to acknowledge death for what it is -- an integral part of life. And that's all I have to say on the matter Bill