LolasDaughter

Thank you so much for all of your replies! CarolHG - thanks for your success story! It is so good to hear encouraging testimonies. MommaDukes - How did YOUR day go today with DH? I've been thinking of you. Patti B - I let Mom know about the nurses and her ability to request one ahead of time. She liked her nurse today okay, but she said she probably wasn't someone she would 'request'. But the info is so good to know. Also - did you know (you probably did but just in case!) you can get a 10 day parking pass for $40 at the Clinic? Just ask the parking attendant. Mom got one today - it's a good deal. Sue & Bucky - thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. The prayers of many are what we all attribute to getting us this far (and the good PET scan results). Dr. West - Loved hearing your from the area. I should have known you were a fellow mid-westerner. You replied to a post of mine the other week re: Mom's Dx on onctalk.com and were so helpful to me. Thank you for all you do! And so, the update on Mom is that day #1 of chemo went well. My brother took her and by all reports, the day went smoothly. I took her over dinner tonight and she had a good appetite and she was working on getting down all the water the nurse told her to drink. They gave her 2 different anti-nausea drugs before starting her chemo. She got both the cisplatin and etoposide today and she will just get the etoposide tomorrow and Wednesday. (Again, her treatment regimen is a bit different as she has a mixed histology with SCLC, so they treat it as SCLC.) Thank you for all your encouraging words and prayers.

Hi MommaDukes - Best wishes for much success and SHRINKAGE for your DH. I don't know why, but it seems comforting to find those with a similar Dx and on a similar schedule. Nice to 'meet' you! You'll have to let me know how next week goes for you and I will do the same. Patti B - How fun that you're in Parma Hts! My DH is from there and my in-laws still live there, so we're there a lot. We're just a bit south of you in Medina. Mom's Chemo Onc at the Clinic is Videtic. I've heard of Mikhail and heard good things. I'm so encouraged by your reports on the chemo nurses. I will definitely let Mom know. What point are you at in your treatment? Thanks for sharing in our joy and renewed excitement and resolution that WE WILL BEAT THIS!

This was PET scan week and we got the best news we could yesterday - 'no evidence of metastatic disease'! Yahoo!! We are thrilled and frankly, were expecting to hear Stage IV (based on seeing a nodule on the adrenal gland & suspicious lesions on the liver). We are all ecstatic. Shows what a difference a few weeks make - the fact that she's still Stage III is GREAT news! And so now, let the battle begin! Mom starts chemo on Monday. She'll receive cisplatin/etoposide Mon - Wed and then off for 2 1/2 weeks until the first week of December, for round 2. Then a CT scan to see how much the tumor (8 cm) has shrunk. If it has shrunk enough, then they will start chemo plus radiation treatments. Mom's ready for a fight and we're all here ready to go into battle with her. I've searched the board on her treatment plan and got lots of good info but would love to hear how this chemo affected folks (I know everyone is different)and Stage III success stories! Nicole

Thanks Nyca, for your kind words and reassurance that this is a normal reaction. Yesterday was a bit of a better today, and today we're taking the kids and mom to see The Bee Movie. Hopefully it's funny - I think we can all use a good laugh together! I want to make sure we're maximizing this time before she starts her chemo and radiation (the week of 11/12). And Don, her Dx was a new one to me, too. I was able to get some clarity from Dr. West on onctalk that I found reassuring. It's apparently a "mixed histology" with some SCLC cells and some NSCLC cells. So then they treat it as SCLC, which Dr. West explained to me is very similar to the treatment for NSCLC.

Well, I just got the call from Mom with her Dx. I haven't seen this but you can bet I'll be doing some research. She has adenocarcinoma with small cell characteristics. They believe it is fast growing and will be treating it as a SCLC. Per the pulmonologist, they will probably be treating her with simultaneous chemo and radiation. She has her appts with the onc's next week and chemo already on the schedule for the week after that. They are working on getting her PET and MRI done so the rad onc's can figure out their plan. For now she is a stage III but the doc explained that will go to a IV if it has spread anywhere else. We'll know for sure next week but based on her CT scan, it seems likely. I've been prepared for this (or similar) Dx, but I still feel like I've been punched in the gut. And why aren't I crying? Anyone have experience with this Dx (with the SCLC characteristics)? Any success stories out there?? Thanks to all of you - this is the first place I came after getting the call and talking with my husband.

Thank you to all of you for your replies. I appreciate all of your experience and opinions. I do know I will not do anything drastic right away but I am leaning toward cutting back my hours to 20/wk instead of 30, if my boss will okay it. Just reading through all of your replies is so helpful. And Cindy (ChloesMom) you remind me of my mom! Driving yourself to chemo and appointments sounds like something my mom would do. I had to chuckle when I read that! I think it's that spunk (secondary to the Good Lord, of course!) that will get her through this.

Hi Atlanta1 - welcome! I'm afraid I don't have much practical advice (I know the others will) but I wanted to welcome you and simply empathize with your frustration. We are in a similar situation with my mom. In fact, she is scheduled to begin chemo the week after next but we still do not have a diagnosis from the biopsy they took during a bronchoscopy last week. Go figure! I have been reassured that these early weeks of testing and questions and not knowing can be one of the most difficult parts. I believe it! But I for one have found great comfort in scanning these boards in the meantime, and hope that you do as well. Glad you found us!

A quick update - we are still awaiting the biopsy results and scheduling of the PET and MRI for my mom - but we were told Friday it looks like Mom has inoperable LC (8 cm mass - no official type or stage yet), with possible lymph node involvement, questionable lesions on the liver and a 5 cm mass on her adrenal gland. I am her daughter (live in the same town) and work 30 hrs/wk from a home office as a fundraising consultant. The job is good but demanding. I am married and have two sons (4 and 9) and have in the past questioned if I should be working and how our family life would change (for the better) if I did not. With this with Mom I am again questioning the fact that I work. I was feeling I had minimal 'margin' before we got this news and now I'm wondering how I'm ever going to 'do it all'. I am fortunate to be in a situation where working is a choice and not a necessity. My husband has a good job and we could certainly live on his income with making some adjustments. And so my question is - have any of you taken a leave of absence or stopped working after getting the news of a loved one's diagnosis? I would love to be available to take mom to her chemo and radiation appts (doc said will probably be her course of treatment) and simply just be available for whatever. Not to mention the benefits to my immediate family. Something about getting this news re-adjusts the priorities and work has just gone to the bottom of a very long list of what's important. But I also don't want to make a decision at an emotional time that I may later regret. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any thoughts/additional points of view would be appreciated!

With as much info and support as these boards have given me, I wanted to share the following that I got from my Dad (from Bottom Line Personal). I thought it was good and hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting it! What People with Cancer Want You to Know Lori Hope One in two men and one in three women will get cancer during their lifetimes, according to the American Cancer Society. The advent of new treatments has allowed many cancer patients to live relatively normal lives, and about nine million Americans are cancer survivors. When someone has cancer, friends and family members want to help and give support, but sometimes they unknowingly say things that may be disturbing. There are many ways to express concern and love when someone is faced with cancer or any serious illness... and just as many ways to make someone cringe. Here's what cancer survivors wish people would do... BE PRESENT People may disappear or withdraw when a loved one gets sick. Some are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Others are geared toward fixing problems and get frustrated when they can't help. Still others have experienced their own tragedies with cancer and don't feel strong enough to face the emotional turmoil again. Though it's uncomfortable to confront a person's outpourings of fear and grief, make the effort. Cancer patients need to cry and release their pain. One of the greatest acts of love is to be with him/her, to listen as he shares his fears. If you live far away, call or write. Let him know that he's loved... that he matters... and that your heart is with him. If you simply can't be there, at least explain why the situation is too difficult for you to cope with. GIVE HOPE People often talk about their own experiences when they meet a person who has cancer. Their intention may be to show empathy or unload their own burdens, but the stories can hurt more than help. Example: When people heard about my diagnosis, many said things like, "Lung cancer -- that's really bad." A waiter at an Italian restaurant even told me that his wife died of the same cancer. He shared all the gruesome details -- about the surgery, how the cancer returned and how she died. It brought back all of my own terror. People who have cancer don't need to be reminded that they could die -- they live with that fear every day. They would rather hear stories of hope and success. Better: When I told my cousin about my diagnosis, she related a story about one of her professors who had had the same cancer 20 years before -- and who is still alive and healthy. When I told my best friend, with whom I have always taken an annual vacation, she said that we would still be vacationing together when we're old ladies. That's the type of encouragement people with cancer need to hear. ASK PERMISSION Few of us ask permission before sharing our feelings or advice, but asking permission is important when you are dealing with someone who has a life-threatening illness. That's when people are at their weakest and most vulnerable. People say things like, "You really should try this immune-boosting herb" or "You should ask your doctor about this new treatment I read about." The word "should" suggests that the person with cancer would be remiss not to take your advice. Instead, ask him if he is interested in your advice or information or wants to hear your stories. Back off if he says no. Possible ways to ask... "I have been looking into this type of cancer. Would you like to hear some of the treatment options I've read about?" "A friend told me about an herb that might help. Would you like to hear about it?" LAUGH We all tend to be overly serious when we're with people who have serious illnesses. That's appropriate some of the time, but not all the time. People with cancer may want to forget the pain and just laugh and be happy. I interviewed a woman who received a cancer diagnosis on a Friday. She had all weekend to worry before she saw her doctor again on Monday, so to make herself feel better, she went to a video store and rented a bunch of comedies. Going through cancer is not all about fear. There's always room for humor and joy. DON'T HARP ON POSITIVE THINKING It's normal to be angry, depressed or sad when you have cancer. No one feels positive all the time. Nevertheless, friends and family members often nag cancer patients about the importance of positive thinking and tune them out when they express worries, pessimism or fear. The implication is that the cancer is somehow the patient's fault or that he can control the outcome. There's a myth that some people have a "cancer personality." There's no truth to it -- and it implicitly blames the patient for causing the disease. It is important to understand that people who have cancer need to allow themselves to feel everything. They shouldn't have to hide their true emotions. It's okay to feel rotten sometimes. SPARE THE PLATITUDES Platitudes are reassuring words that usually are said without much thought or understanding. Everyone with cancer has heard things like, "You never know how much time any of us has -- you could go outside tomorrow and get hit by a truck." One woman I talked to had heard this cliché at least 10 times from people she knew -- even from her doctor. Her comment? "Okay, so then in addition to the fact that I could die from cancer, I might also get hit by a truck." That isn't comforting. No one who has had cancer sees it as "a gift." Cancer patients don't want to hear how lucky they are or what they can learn from the experience. They just want to get better. Silence and compassion are more helpful than empty words. Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Lori Hope, a three-year lung cancer survivor in Oakland, California, and author of Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know (Celestial Arts). She is managing editor of the publication Bay Area Business Woman News, has produced more than 20 documentaries and has won two Emmys. www.lorihope.com

That is wonderful! Funny you would post this today - we were at Target today and saw the pink M&M's for Breast Cancer awareness month. I told my husband that I think we need a national Lung Cancer Awareness Month. I'm glad to hear we're moving in that direction.... Thanks for sharing the good news!

Well, I have taken the day off of work on Friday to be with Mom and Dad on Friday at the Clinic. I will have my pad and pen with me! And I love the idea of the recorder. My mom thinks I'm crazy (God love her) but I may buy one before Friday anyhow. We'll see. I've done a search on "bronchoscopy" here and got some good info. Can you tell me, will we leave Friday knowing more than when we went in? What type of info can/do they give you right away? I know we see the doc afterwards, so I'm assuming he'll have some news/update for us. Any other helpful tips to prepare for the day? Thank you!

Thank you everyone for your advice and insight. I love hearing it from those of you who have been through it and have felt the same emotions yourself. Thank you for taking the time to share it with me. I now have some good 'words' to share if it comes up again. Mom is doing okay - talked to her this AM and she's just ready to 'get this show on the road'. She had a biopsy appt on 11/14 which Dad successfully moved up to Friday (yeah!) so, here we go. Thank you for sharing in this journey with me. I will be posting updates, I'm sure.

Hi everyone - oh, thank you so much for taking the time to post all of your encouraging words and insight. It is so helpful - I would say more than you think, but I think all of you know. Thank you! I just received word that my mom's appointment has been moved up to FRIDAY! This week! I'm thrilled that we're getting closer to finding out what we're dealing with. And at the exact same time I'm scared out of my mind that we're getting closer to finding out what we're dealing with. My Dad is doing an excellent job as her main advocate and 'the scheduler'. Dar, I did not mention it originally but Mom actually stopped caughing up the blood after that ER visit. Praise God! So at least she is not dealing with that currently. And Shelley, I love the idea of asking about a cancellation list. We didn't need it this time but good to know such a thing exists for in the future. I will definitely keep you all posted as we learn more and as questions/emotions arise (as I'm sure they will). Thank you for your kindness.

Thank you both for taking the time to reply. I had not yet been on the Treatments & Rx Forum - you were right, that was very helpful. We have a family friend who is a rep at the Clinic who we're hopeful will be able to help in getting Mom in to a pulmonologist quicker. I will let you all know what we find. Thank you all for the information. There is so much unknown right now and I find having answers even on just some of this 'basic' stuff comforting.

I am still in the beginning steps of caring for a loved one with LC. My mom hasn't even been officially diagnosed yet but a trip to the ER found an 8 cm mass on her right lung that is 'consistent with carcinoma'. My mom is 60 and a life-long smoker. This is all very new so we are all still in the 'fog' of trying to wrap our brains around what is happening. We have a great support system - good friends, close family (and we're all nearby) and a great church family. But my mom has been saying things that I'm not sure if I'm responding to correctly. She will say 'This is all my fault - I brought this on myself' or 'I hate what I'm putting everyone through.' I try to encourage her that we all love her - she is certainly not 'doing' this to anyone and that now our focus needs to be on her health and care. But my words sound so hollow when I say them and I don't want to sound like I'm saying 'You shouldn't feel that way' because I'm sure those are all very normal reactions. But I just hate to think of her carrying around those horrible feelings! Any insight on how best to respond so she simply feels loved and cared for and supported?

What a great website! I am so excited to have found it and just scanning many of the boards tonight has been very helpful - and hopeful. I am early in my journey of a caregiver to a LC patient, so much of the terminology and drug names are foreign to me - but I'm sure soon enough will be all too familiar. The reason I'm here is that on Thursday night, after coughing up blood all afternoon, my mom went to the ER. They did an x-ray and followed that up with a CT scan and found she has an 8 cm mass in her upper right lung that is 'consistent with carcinoma'. She is 60 and a life-long smoker. We are fortunate to live in NE Ohio and so Dad is taking her to the Cleveland Clinic for her pulmonologist appt. The only thing is they cannot see her until Nov 14 - over three weeks away! Being new to all of this, is there any way to get this moved up? In reading through some of the timelines, it looks like most get to the biopsy stage within days of finding a mass and I'm not sure if the delay is just because we're dealing with the Clinic or if there's something we can do to get her an earlier appointment. Any suggestions? I have other questions that are probably more appropriate for the Caregiver/Family Member portion of the site and so will post those there. I am so encouraged to have found all of you here!