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((((Gail)))) This is just so hard. I am here, and sharing your feelings every day. Linda

Denise, I really know the feeling. I'm so sorry you're having a tough day today. I have only recently entered this frightening world, and already, it's a crazy rollercoaster! I'm finding that I am very easily sent into a tailspin by tiny things, songs..etc.. On the day of my mom's CT report results (99.??% chance of LC) The tears just WOULD NOT STOP. But there have been many days since then where I've been much more focused on all the hopeful things, and I've been OK. I just want you to know that I'm here, and listening. ((((Denise)))) Love, Linda

Thank you so much for sharing Everything went just fine...and I feel much better now! She had conscious IV sedation, so doesn't remember the procedure much at all. She remembers the IV going in and that's about it She's coughing a tiny bit of blood now, but we were told it's to be expected. Her voice sounds a bit froggy, but no sore throat as of yet. She has her sister spending the night, to make sure she's OK. When talked to her on the phone after she got home, she was going for a long nap...good stuff. Thanks again

Ohhh, it's SO nice to see people who are near me We live in Parksville, and my Mom is in Nanoose. I suppose when we get to that point, Mom will receive treatment in Victoria, so I'll have many questions for you! I'm trying very hard to keep that same positive attitude! I've designated myself the "learner" for our family. I'm sharing what I learn with Mom, my sister, hubby and the rest of our family. SO very glad you are here, (((((Sylvia and Sandra))))) Linda

Hi everybody, I wasn't sure of the most appropriate section to post this in, so mods, please move it if necessary. My Mom has her first big procedure today, and I'm feeling apprehensive (as is she, of course!). She'll be having a biopsy by bronchoscopy today at 1:15. Would anyone be willing to tell me about how this will feel, what to expect, anything I can do to help?? How was the biopsy experience for you?? Thanks so much, Love, Linda

"One" Metallica

A 1981 orange Toyota tercel hatchback My very first car, and ollld even at that time! Linda

I am REALLY struggling with this right now, too! It's horrific. My Mom was diagnosed on Tuesday, and all of those same thoughts are going through my head too. I KNOW we have to quit. I feel like there's no WAY we can tell out kids about Mom (6 and 10) if WE are still smoking! It will scare them to death! It makes me extremely disgusted with myself! (((Gail))) Linda

Sorry folks, just testing now. I just wrote up a signature and am trying to get it to display...hoping I don't have to type that all out again! EDIT: OK, so it showed up- yay! Now...how do I get the text nice and small like yours are??

Thank you all SO much for your replies I hope to be as wise as you are...and soon! I completely understand about the CT scan stuff..I'm sorry for putting that on you guys. There's just so many words I don't know the meaning to yet! Ned, that's funny, you saw the Dr. West reply before I did. I can understand his position though. I will try to be more hypothetical in the future On another note, Mom has an appointment with the lung specialist in Nanaimo on Monday morning. He is the one who will do her biopsy, I would guess. Do you think her biopsy will happen then and there? Or is it normal to have a consult first, and then set up the biopsy appt.? Thanks so much once again....and I truly look forward to getting to know all of you. I hope I can have enough knowledge to offer support to others soon. Linda

I can't really say anything to help. But I wanted to tell you that I will be joining you in the obsessive worrier's club. I tend to take on all the worry for everyone I know who needs worrying about, and many who don't. I worry about all the what if's too....I think I'll fit right in. It's not an easy road to take though, is it?? (((hug))) Linda

Thanks for the replies everyone, I truly appreciate the support Connie- I tried onctalk.org and it didn't come up. I would very much like to run that report by Dr. West. Randy- Your post made me laugh, which is a miracle today! I've lost 25 pounds since January second, but I'm doing it on purpose. Mom wasn't trying...just shriveling.. I am trying very hard to be positive, and patient. I guess this cancer thing just takes a little getting used to, eh? I will spend some time looking at your positive stories, to get my spirits back up a little. (((hugs))) Linda

Thank you so much for welcoming me with such open arms...it really helps. The news was bad....to me it looks very bad, but I don't know the lingo very well yet, so I am going to tell you what the doctor said, and I'm going to type out the CT report, so maybe you can help me decipher all these words I don't understand...is that OK? The doctor told us that of course he can't say with 100%certainty, but it is 99% positive that she does have cancer, in both lungs. He will be setting her up with a lung specialist ASAP for biopsy...etc.. Here comes the report part: Exam: CT CHEST, LIVER C+8695 Multiplanar contrast enhanced images of the chest and liver were performed. Within the left hilum nestled in the confluence of the superior and inferior pulmonary vein there is a lobulated soft tissue mass measuring 4x3 centimeters compatible with lymphadenopathy. No other mediastinal lymph nodes are present. In the periphery of the left upper lobe, there is a 3mm spiculated pulmonary mass which may represent the site of primary lung tumor. In the azygo-esophageal recess of the right lung, centered on the major fissure, there is a 1cm. pulmonary mass showing spiculated outer borders with pleural tags attached to the mediastinum and paraspinal soft tissues likely representing a contralateral synchronous lung primary. No right hilar lymphadenopathy is present however. The lungs are markedly overinflated showing changes of advanced centrilobular emphysema. Multiple small pulmonary nodules each measuring no more than 2-3mm are scattered within the anterior aspect of the right middle lobe and periphery of the left lower lobe. Images of the liver show two low density foci in segment 8 likely both representing tiny hepatic cysts. The adrenal glands are normal. IMPRESSION: Left hilar mass undoubtedly represents malignant lymphadenopathy. Two possibly primary lung carcinomas are identified, one in the right azygo-esophageal recess measuring 1cm and the other in theperiphery of the left upper lobe measuring 3mm. Given the severe underlying centrilobular emphysema, percutaneous biopsy of either of these lesions is not advised. Transbronchial biopsy of the left hilar lymphadenopathy is likely the most reasonable method to obtain histology. So there it is, word for word. I have a slight understanding...but very limited, so any help understanding this will be so very welcome. The doctor also said that he had not seen tumors/masses in both lungs before?? I may have understood that part wrong. I asked him to give me a copy of this report so that I could post it here, I'm glad I did. I wish we could skip this part. I feel a bit like a zombie. I'm kind of numb, but could blow any second at the same time. I have cried many times today. But at the moment, I'm grateful that at least she doesn't feel sick. Her greatest pain at the moment is arthritis. And she has lost 20 pounds in the past year for no reason. Sorry for writing such a book, but I though if anyone would understand...it would be you guys. Thanks again for such a warm welcome. I guess I'll be around here a LOT! Linda

Hi there, my name is Linda. I just want to introduce myself...but my world is spinning, so please forgive me if I don't make complete sense. I am 30 years old, married 11.5 years to Rudy, and am the proud Mother of a ten year old son and six year old daughter. I am very close to my own Mom, and so are my children. We have a very close family. About two weeks ago, my Mom had a chest x-ray come back with a possible spot in her left lung. She was then sent for a CT scan last Wednesday. In about two hours I am taking her to get the results of that CT scan, and I am so scared, I don't know what to feel. My Mom is 64 years old, and has been a smoker for 50 years. Her brother died of lung cancer several years ago. I am not ready to enter the world of cancer...I'm so scared. I am trying to be strong and will do whatever I need to do to support her. I just feel like a lost little girl at the moment... I will have much more to write...but right now, I need to get going so we can get this appointment over with. Thanks so much for listening, Linda