Suzie Q
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Posts posted by Suzie Q
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I know it is so hard, but you have to let go of the desire to know what happened. The details of where the cancer was are not relevant, because the reality is that the cancer so taxed her body systems that she had a rapid decline.
I can completely relate to this. My mom was gone 9 days after signing up with Hospice, and I and my brothers had to convince her that it was, indeed, time for the "H" word.
I think we get so accustomed to "fight" mode that we often lose sight of the reality of what is happening before our eyes, so it is hard to accept the signs of the inevitible.
I hope the pain of the loss will abate. It's just so new and raw for you right now, and it just plain stinks!
~Karen
your sister in the Motherless Daughters and Sons Club
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Kim, perhaps you could ask if he would consider giving (or selling, depending on his nature) the ring and/or diamonds to you and your sis after you suggest he rethink giving your stepmom a ring made with the stones from his prior wedding ring.
Good luck.
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Nancy,
I am so there right now! I think that's why it has taken nearly a year to get my parents' condo ready for sale. It was so comforting to be able to stop in there and see what remained of personal items (most of it was divided between us siblings a month after my mom passed), and I can attest to the therapeutic value of sortin through some things, though it was difficult. Now so much has been removed, it has been repainted and new floor and window coverings are being installed this week, and it seems now like my parents were never there. That's the hardest part, seeing it so empty and devoid of their touch...
hugs to you,
Karen
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Grace, you are doing exactly what you should be doing, and it is right.
Your pain must be so great, and I wish I could alleviate it. Just know that you are doing the right thing for Carlton and your family.
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I actually go by two names. My given name is Karen, but my family has always called me Karry.
When I was in second grade, I got my first phone call from a school friend. When she asked for Karen, my brother told her she had the wrong number!
~Karen
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Deepest condolences to the family.
I will miss Frank's humor and the best jokes around!
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About one year after diagnosis(while receiving chemo) my mom treated the grandkids to an overnight stay at a hotel with a pool/hot tub. She didn't have any problems with the pool chemicals, although I will say she avoided the hot tub, and took breaks from the enclosed pool area because it exacerbated her SOB. She did not complain of skin problems from pool chemicals.
The second year, her disease had progressed and she was on O2, but still wanted to do the same thing. She sat with the door ajar because the humidity and chemicals really compromised her breathing, and she did not go into the pool at all that time.
Regardless, you should check with her doctor first.
~Karen
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Both of my parents passed away last year at age 65, when I was 40.
Dad died as a result of melanoma and mom died from NSCLC.
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Me too, Don. Plus I will also have a donut to go with it. The unleaded version. With chocolate icing. Lots of icing!
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You made the best decision you could at the time. And Nick is so right. She may have passed on in the same time frame regardless of treatment. Or she could have reacted badly to the antibiotics, for that matter. So, you see, looking back raises more questions than answers. And of course, you are now armed with the knowledge of the outcome, so no fair comparison is possible.
But you have to let it go.
Keep telling yourself you made the best decision you could. You really did.
~Karen
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Maybe your primary doctor can lance it to get the infection out & let it heal?
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Yes, I read this book. It was a very good read, and seemed to be directed at women of your age group more than mine, or at least women who had experienced their loss earlier in their lives. But do read it.
I recently read a book called "The Empty Chair" or something like that. It's a real short paperback. It helps explain how to get through the holidays and anniversaries as they come up. I borrowed it from my brother; I can get more info later.
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sugar and spice
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Fantastic news!
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I say, "Why do you ask?"
That puts the ball in their court. If they want to enter into a deeper discussion, fine. If not, fine.
But really, what difference does it make? Would they nod smugly if a woman had cervical cancer, figuring she MUST have contracted the sexually-transmitted HPV virus (which can cause cervical CA)?
It's hard to maintain your patience and dignity with the ignorant. But do try...most are not malicious, they are merely uninformed.
~Karen
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I am a healthy 41-year-old, and I JUST got over my 3 week episode with vertigo. This was not dizziness, but rather a spinning sensation following a significant change of head position. It came on inexplicibly, and went away on its own, which is usually the case for vertigo, based on my internet search results. It can take quite a long time to subside.
My mom would sometimes get it, and she would take Antivert, as prescribed by her doc.
Heart palpitations can be scary. What kind of workup did they do for her heart?
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My mom had Gemzar and Carbo as first line, and it worked well for her with few side effects. She did have some diarrhea and a little nausea, but primarily she had alteration in taste from the Carbo and an acidic feeling in her mouth(not the esophagus, just the mouth) with the Gemzar.
Drink water, eat several meals, even if you don't feel like it to maintain your weight.
The first day of chemo is usually a long one, so be prepared with reading materials or whatever may keep you occupied during that time. You may even doze off while the infusion is going.
Take a positive attitude with you. You'll do fine!
~Karen
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My profile shown my mom lived 2 years after diagnosis of stage IV NSCLC, and with good quality of life. And reading the profiles of people like Don's Lucy and Jimben gave me so much hope!
And let's face it, in this life we're ALL terminal. It's just a question of when.
But it's MY profile, and if and when I am ready to either consolidate it or simplify it, or simply not include it in any given post, I will do so. But right now it honors the fight my mom gave against LC, and no one will convince me to change my thinking on this one.
~Karen
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Oh, Val. I'm so moved by your post. I am saddened that you will be without two of the most important people at such a time in your life.
Please don't hold your friend's ignorance against her. People who have not experienced the depth of loss that you have do not understand the ongoing grief process. They figure that it's been long enough that you have moved on and fail to realize it's just not that simple. Sadly, at some point, they will most likely be enlightened, and will finally "get it."
Revel in your homemade birthday cake, anyway!
And remember, we here DO get it.
~Karen
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Dancing on the stars of Heaven...reminds me of a qoute from Wm Shakespear:
"And, when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of Heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with the night and pay no worship to the garish sun."
Deepest condolences to you and your family.
~Karen
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You must be exhausted. Get some rest and hunker down with the family.
Thinking of you.
Karen
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Keep emphasizing the oncologists belief that your DH has been doing well and that he does not see things the same way the naturopath sees them.
Good for you for letting that doctor have it with both barrels! What utter nonsense to have to deal with baloney like this!
Karen
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I would ask about an MR angiogram(MRA) to check for aneurism and/or clots.
Saying an extra prayer for your nephew tonight.
~Karen
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I'm so glad that you have found peace. Imagine how at peace your father must be! Your story is just incredibly amazing.
Wishing you strength and comfort in the times ahead.
~Karen
Woulda Been
in GRIEF
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Randy, a truly bittersweet day.
The love you and Deb shared was so special. You'll never forget how you felt that day, 11 years ago! And from what I''ve seen here, you honor her and your marriage every day of your life. You were blessed to have had each other, no matter the length of time.
~Karen