Suzie Q
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Posts posted by Suzie Q
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Tracy,
Well, crapola!
I'm raising a glass in your honor and wishing you well. Kick some ***!
Karen
PS My mom loved her first onc until he told her, after her 4th line of chemo, "are you ready for comfort care?" She grabbed him by the tie and said through clenched teeth, "So I look ready for comfort care?" Then she fired him.
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Count me in as a member of the club! I have a tendency to be more honest than what makes people comfortable, and I really did respond with, "Yes, I know mom & dad are in a better place, but that doesn't lessen the pain."
And the "At least your mom & dad are together now." Yeah, and I rejoice for that, but I am at a LOSS now that I am a middle-aged orphan! I lost mom & dad within three months, and it sucks. Do I take comfort in the knowledge that they are together and with god? Absolutely, but my heart is rent in two when my 4-year-old asks nearly daily, "Why did Grandma and Grandpa have to die?"
Yet from all of this, I know that it is my calling to say to others in mourning the right things. Or to just listen. Cindy (stand4hope) was SO RIGHT to say what she did to her co-worker.
I know that these things are said out of ignorance and the awkwardness of the moment. But now that we are the "enlightened" ones, I hope we can honestly give they type of sympathy that only comes from having been there.
Bless you all,
Karen
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My dad had abdomen radiation, and did experience nausea & vomiting, but not until at least a week to 10 days after starting rad.
My vote is on the seafood salad as the culprit, but you never know...just do as others have suggested, and stay on top of your anti-nausea meds.
Please keep us updated!
~Karen
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Fentanyl made my dad hallucinate and have spasms. took a while to figure it out as he had a lot of things going on at once (elevated liver enzymes, morphine pump, Fentanyl patch, intractable diarrhea, feeding tube problems just to list a few).
Let us know what you find out.
~Karen
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Hey, Frank, hope it's just BPH and you just need a roto-rooter procedure. I'll let Don tell you all about that one!
My Dad had prostate ca and opted for 4 months of Lupron followed by nerve-sparing prostatectomy. Worked well for him, though he did get melanoma later (not related apparently to the prostate ca).
So, even if the news is not good, know that we're all here for you, and there are many successful options for treatment!
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You can relieve the pain by talking, talking, talking!
Not everyone is a "joiner" and is comfortable joining support groups. Some get their support right here, in an anonymous forum. Some need to physically be with others in their situations. Whatever...find out what is best for you.
I lost my dad to melanoma in Jan of this year, and my mom to NSCLC in April of this year. I KNOW what it's like to lose both parents close together. I also know that my mom was relieved that dad passed first...he was never a nurterer and did not have a clue as to the finances, so she was relieved to know that he would not be saddled with those things...Yet she never did really grieve for him. Not enough time, I guess.
There is so much to do as the surviving spouse. That alone will keep one's mind off the cancer thing a bit. But if I may give a bit of advice...have your mom put everything in trust. Consult an estate attorney and get all the financial matters in order. No kidding, probate is NOT where you want to go!
I wish you the best. PM me if you like!
~Karen
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Lori,
I had so hoped that things would work out, moving your mom into your home, and indeed they have! I am so glad you are all doing so well.
As to the extra cereal and ice cream, I say, well, you only go 'round this life once. Might as well enjoy it! (especiall y if it's cookie dough ice cream!)
~Karen
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Oh, Linda, I am so saddened to hear this news. May God give you strength in the days and weeks ahead.
~Karen
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Any chance of a day trip to see the horses?
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I agree with the meds issue. She definitely needs something for her agitation.
Can you get a plan of care that requires the nursing home social worker NOT be working on her case? She should have adequate social work services through Hospice. No sense doubling up on services (not to mention the additional charges!).
Go check in to a local hotel for a few days. You can have the ability to do all of your correspondence wothout interruption. Take a bath...get your nails done...get a massage. Whatever it takes to rejuvenate! You can leave an emergency contact number with a friend and they could decinde if you need to be disturbed.
I'm so sorry this is being loaded on to your shoulders. Please do look after yourself. Be firm in getting a firm plan in place with the home. You KNOW it's not possible for her to be released from there, and let the Hospice social worker intervene with your mom to get her to understand that it's just not going to happen.
Hugs,
Karen
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Deepest condolences to Carleen and her family and Keith's family.
Heaven surely is rejoicing to receive such a pure soul.
~Karen
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Carleen,
My dad had this type of swelling when he got overhydrated on IV fluids. He had developed ascites (fluid in the abdomen) and the fluid slid sown into the scrotum.
He was quite uncomfortable, and found a towel to support that area while lying down helped. The hospital also increased his protein intake to help the body get rid of the excess fluid, as well as gave him Lasix.
Does Keith have abdominal fluid? Did they check a CT or abdomen ultrasound?
Still praying for you. Sure wish Keith could catch a break soon!
~Karen
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My mom had a very rapid decline and resisted the idea of hospice, though she consented to live in my home. My siblings and I called her onc and had a referral set up for Hospice. Hospice then made an appointment when we all could meet along with my mom and Hospice. She still remained unconvinced, but the social worker was so good at reading people that she handled her deftly, and ultimately convinced mom that it would benefit me as caregiver to have the help. Plus, she said, "Give us 2 weeks. If you still don't think you want us here, you can kick us out the door!"
Mom peacefully passed 8 days later.
It is possible that a good social worker might be in order to help your dad accept Hospice care. But it's hard. It's like admitting defeat to them; that there's no more fighting the beast. And in part, that's true. But try to focus on the next leg of the journey - the glorious afterlife!
My best to you,
Karen
(aka Suzie Q)
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Carleen,
I cannot add anything more eloquent than what has already been said.
My God continue to support ans suatain both you and Keith.
~Karen
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Deepest condolences to you and your family at this time of sorrow.
~Karen
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Missy,
Having recently lost my mom in a swift decline, I know what you are going through. I will offer prayers to you and a special one for your daughter as well as prayers for peace and release for your dear mom.
~Karen
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Grab it!
It's no accident that cancer funding exploded with the advocacy of the Komen Foundation, started by a WOMAN. Women are, in my opinion, the most tenacious bulldogs in advocating an issue.
I don't mean to exclude the men, but in the end, they will benefit as well, and we certainly welcome any and all assistance in promoting our cause!
~Karen
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Hopeful thoughts to you and your family.
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The port is plavced under the skin in the OR. It is an outpatient procedure done under conscious sedation if possible.
My mom loved having one, but sometimes had to wait for a RN for a blood draw as the lab techs were not trained to draw from ports.
Ports cannot be used for the injection of CT contrast because it has to be injected with too much force.
Mom waited far too long to get one...it was such a relief to know she wouldn't get stuck multiple times...
~Karen
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Deepest sympathies to you and your family during this difficult time.
~Karen
aka "Suzie Q"
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Lori,
Any chance you can videotape your mom and get her to say in her own words how much SHE desires the therapy and has the will to do this?
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Jim,
Sorry about the rash, but YEEHAW that your cough is improving and you feel good!
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Teri,
I am so saddened to hear this news. I wish you release from your pain and peace and love with your dear ones in the time ahead.
Suz
I keep thinking I cant believe this, but I can
in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER
Posted
Dear, sweet Lori,
Never, never doubt the huge role you have played in your mother's cancer journey. You've been her tireless advocate and your love shows through clear as day. You are the best daughter any mother could ask for; be assured of that. You've played your role with such moxie I stand in awe of you!
You will doubtless have second thoughts or even guilt about the decisions you've made on your mother's behalf. Let this be your mantra: "I did the best I could with the information I had at that time."
It's so easy for us to second-guess our decision-making process with the clear vision of hindsight, but it serves no useful purpose. Steer clear of that junk!
Hospice is not the same as giving up! It IS all about making the transition to the next stage in our existence as peaceful as possible. It is so heart-wrenching to go through, yet so wonderful and even beautiful at the same time.
I was (and still am) honored to have had the opportunity to care for my mom in her final days.
Peace and strength to all of you during this time.
~Karen