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Butterfly - sign?


berisa

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As some of you may remember, my dad passed away this year end of April. Last Sunday (10/17) was his birthday, he is now 59 years old, on that day, my husband and I went to the beach to attend a practical lesson of Snorkeling. Suddenly I found a butterfly resting on my neighbour's (classmate) hair. I just thought it is weird as we are on the sea that it's not common to see butterfly. I didn't realize that amazing thing until yesterday night because yesterday night I missed my dad a lot and hope that he can give me signs regularly that he is doing very well and he is around me always.

Maybe on his birthday, he was just around me and gave me sign that he is always be with me.

Dad, I love you. We all miss you very much.

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Berisa I have heard that a butterfly is the sign of new life or a loved one returning. I have had several times when I felt like a butterfly was following me. I think you diffinately had a sign from your dad. As they say don't look for big things those happen rarely but those little things are signs too. We just have to reconginze them and asknowledge them. I am happy for you. Lillian

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Berisa, I believe this was your father. After my father passed away in 1983. My mom believed my dad would visit her as a butterfly. When my mom became ill and do to her oxygen would smoke outside on the patio.

I would sit with her and everyday this small white butterfly would come hang around in the patio while we were out there. My mom passed away in March 2003 and not to long after her passing I was at my son Kevin's baseball game. Kevin had been in a batting slump and feeling really down on himself. I was thinking as he went up to bat if only grandma could help him out and the next the thing I know he smacks the ball and is on base.

I then see this small white butterfly perched on the fence in front of my seat. I have no doubt in my mind that mom was at Kevin's game.

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Berisa,

I posted a few months back about having a butterfly land on my hand at my fathers grave. This is a place with no flowers or landscape other than the grass and trees in the distance. I thought it was odd, but comforting at the time it happened.

When I posted about it here, everyone that replied told me it was a sign from dad, answering me, letting me know he was ok.

The more I think about it, the more I hope it to be true.

I think it is for you too. I think he was giving you a sign.

(HUGS)

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Thank you very much for your posts in response to this thread.

My dad's death is just like a dream, sometimes I feel he is just going to somewhere for long vacation; sometimes his death is so real that no matter how, I cannot see him now. I miss his laugh, his soup, his voice. Dad, I just miss you very much :cry:

What if I would never had my evening study before your diagnosis, what if you didn't retire, what if I spent more time to talk to you and comfort you during your unhappiness time, you would probably not suffered from this beast too early.

Sometimes, I will blame my mom, blame her why didn't give my dad happiness, why she never be a good wife. My dad was unhappy for around 1 year before the diagnosis. I always think this is one of the factors that causing cancer. Although I didn't get angry with my mom, but i know in my heart, I will regard this as one of the reasons causing dad having cancer.

Till this moment, i have many what-ifs and I am also wondering the cause of death is infection itself or pneumonia itself but not cancer itself.

I know whatever the cause is, the fact is the fact, my dad was gone. But I can't stop myself to think about these things.

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Berisa,

I know what you mean about it being like a dream. I look at my mom's picture and it's not even like she is really gone, but just not at home. I too wonder what if; what if we tried something normally used instead of her being in a study, and why didn't we change things sooner, and so on. I do know that if I continue with the what ifs, then I won't move on. I HAVE to move on! Mom would want me to. That doesn't mean forget. Let that anger go sweetheart, there is enough hatred in this world without us adding to it. I know it's hard, but in the long run it won't change anything; they're still gone. Your Dad loves you and always will; keep that in your heart and you'll get through this all. That is what I try to do.

Keeping everyone in my prayers,

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I too know exactly what you mean when you say it feels like a dream. To me, it feels like a dream that my father was ever really here with me. God, I miss him so much, it is very painful. I don't like living life without him, not at all. I too know what you mean about him being unhappy the year before his diagnosis. My dad was unhappy too, something to do with a relationship with his girlfriend, I won't go into details, but I believe the terrible stress from that brought out the cancer that was lurking inside of him. I think of this, and I try my hardest not to let the stress and pain of losing my father affect me for fear that I too will get sick. This is my biggest worry and great concern, for I am a single parent to a 3-year old daughter. She needs me. My father's only wish was to make sure she was happy. That was all that mattered to him. He said that he lived his life. He was only 65. We all got cheated, especially my daughter. I said to myself the other day that I belive that I will never really accept that my father is gone and I am carrying alot of anger too and what ifs. Then I reminded myself of a song that I love very much. It's called "Heart Of The Matter" by Don Henley. The words in that song that say, "You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside". WE cannot let the anger eat us up inside. It will make us sick, of this I am sure. We also need more than anything to forgive ourselves. We all tried as hard and as much as we knew how. As the old saying goes, if love could have saved them...... I'm sure they would all be here with us today. Here are the words to the song in it's entirety. It is my all-time favorite song. I can't listen to it without crying, I never could. There's just something about it. I don't know.

Heart Of The Matter

I got the call today, I didn’t wanna hear

But I knew that it would come.

An old, true friend of ours was talking on the phone

She said you’d found someone.

And I thought of all the bad luck,

And the struggles we went through

And how I lost me and you lost you;

What are these voices outside love’s open door,

Make us throw off our contentment

And beg for something more?

I’m learning to live without you now,

But I miss you sometimes.

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again.

I’ve been trying to get down

To the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it’s about forgiveness,

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain,

There’s a yearning undefined

And people filled with rage.

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness

They’re the very things - we kill I guess.

Pride and competition

Cannot fill these empty arms

And the work I put between us

You know it doesn’t keep me warm.

I’m learning to live without you now

But I miss you.

And the more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I’d figured out

I have to learn again.

I’ve been trying to get down

To the heart of the matter,

But everything changes

And my friends seem to scatter

But I think it’s about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore.

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone;

They let you down, you know they hurt your pride.

You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on;

You keep carrying that anger; it’ll eat you up inside.

I’ve been trying to get down

To the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my thought seem to scatter

But I think it’s about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don’t love me

I’ve been tryin’ to get down

To the heart of the matter

Because the flesh will get weak

And the ashes will scatter

So I’m thinkin’ about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don’t love me

Even if, you don’t love me anymore.

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