Amy P Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Smart-*ss Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat..she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." Smart-*ss Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Smart-*ss Answer #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Smart-*ss Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." Smart-*ss #5 [the best for last!] THE TEACHER Smart-*ss Answer OF THE YEAR: A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*ss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Very funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Sexual exhaustion for the average college boy takes all of what, two minutes?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Sure, we exhaust fast, but we recover even faster. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 Like a rabbit. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted November 10, 2004 Share Posted November 10, 2004 QUALITY, not quantity..... Rabbits die young, look how long elephants live....(maybe size DOES matter...ROFL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 It takes a while for some men to figure out that sex is better with someone else in the room, and best when they are touching each other. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 Let me just say for the record I have never had sex of any kind while touching another man. Not that I am against such things on principle, but didn't want any wrong ideas circulating from Nushka's post. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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