SDianneB Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Oh my. Number 10 done, and only two to go - YAY! If only there was a way to have #11 and #12 done all at once, I'd just have one more day! Well, one more day of treatment, and a lifetime of mush brain!! My hair is still in place (knock on wood!), and I feel about the same -- no headaches, sleeping VERY well, and no daily fatigue, although there was the one day last week when I had to leave work early and go home to rest for a while. All things being equal, I'd just as soon not put my head in the toaster every day, but all things aren't equal, are they. Only 2 more days though -- I can do that, no problem. The tech this morning says they should place bets on whether I make it to work downtown with my mask intact to show it to the people I work with, or will I just have to stop on the way and run over the bleepin' thing! So, what if? What if I'd never been diagnosed with cancer. What if this past 7 months had been just a bad dream. Seven months isn't a very long time, but I can't really visualize life without cancer at this point. Taking all this away and putting me back to where I was before would just mean I was still smoking, and would probably have cancer at another time or heart disease or whatever. Does it define my life? No, but it puts a new definition of "life" at the forefront. And not just my life -- I've learned to notice more keenly the lives of other people. The people I come across when I'm in waiting rooms to see doctors, technicians, etc. There may be things I can do such as help them by being an advocate, a volunteer at the cancer center, etc. I don't know exactly what just yet, but there is something, and I'll figure it out. I just don't want it all to be for nothing, yanno? Like, Dianne was a nice person, but she had cancer. Schmaydee asked over the weekend if anyone lived a long time with this -- and I betcha there are people out there who do, and I wanna be one of them if I can. But mostly, I'd like to know that I can help some of the others along the way so that they can see this as a chronic disease and not an automatic death sentence. (Oh, and the party was lots and lots of fun, we laughed a LOT, and the fruit salad was devine!!!) Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Glad your party was fun and I'm sure the salad/dessert was great! (Any salad with that much good stuff in it HAS to be a dessert too! ) I too, figure that at some point it will become clear to me just what it is I'm supposed to do with this new experience of having/having HAD cancer. Some way to "use" it all for some greater good, if possible. Having cancer doesn't define our lives...you're right. But it certainly provides new windows....some alterations to our old perspective, don't you think? People say you can never return to where you were pre-cancer....and I do believe that is true. I think being where you and I have spent the past 7 months DOES change one forever, in ways. Funny thing though....for as much as people seem to feel that having cancer teaches you not to sweat the small stuff...but to live and enjoy each day.....I STILL find that getting stuck in traffic can bring out the grump in me in a big, fat hurry! I guess SOME irritations don't change. no matter what...eh? I'm so happy you're almost done and have fared so well, Di. You're something, girl......really something. Keep this in mind though...that when your hair starts to go (and for me it was right around day 10) - it goes in a hurry! Two days in the shower, rubbing at my noggin and I was bald! Hope you've got a couple of cute winter hats waiting.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 Addie, you are right -- what still sets me off is the grocery store parking lot during the holidays. Aaarrgghh!!! The Rad. Onc. told me that the 3rd week is the time for the hair to go. I expect it any day now! I've carried around 2 little caps in the car "just in case" it falls out unexpectedly and I'm not at home. As cold as it is, it will look quite normal to be wearing a cap! And one of our staff Christmas presents was a cap with our logo, so that will work too! Now that the end is SO very close, I'm antsy for it to just be over. And then, I want to feel perfect again the next day. Not too much to ask, is it? Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bacalice Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Di: Inexplicably tired. i saw the Rad ONC and he gaves me doses to reduce the steroids so I can come down off the steroids and then perhaps I will not be so tired. I now have until Dec.28 and hopefully it will be over and it hope that treatment will be successful. I still have not lost hsir but i am very tired and shaky. thanks for your encouragement. will check in when i can. dx'd May 06/03 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted December 21, 2004 Author Share Posted December 21, 2004 Alice - I'm so glad you left us a note today!! And glad to hear you're hanging in there. I know this is difficult for you, but in spite of your fatigue, it sounds to me like you are doing VERY well, all things considered. I met a new patient at the Rad. Onc. today -- in his 70s. He said the chemo and first radiation nearly did him in, and he thought that he'd just as soon be dead as bad as he felt. But, he hung in there, and looked super this morning -- said he'd had 6 tumors in his throat. Ick. Oh well. You and I are hanging in there, huh!!! Happy holidays to you, sweet lady. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Alice... A note of encouragement from me, too. You know, Dianne is a kid!! She's YOUNG...and that's part of why she's doing so great! I have a few years on Di...and you have a few more than that...so no WONDER you and I are more tired, huh? Seriously, Alice....I DO know the fatigue can be disheartening. I am normally a pretty high energy person...and it just kills me some days, to find myself completely worn out simply by showering and getting dressed!! I hope, though, that it will encourage you to know that by the time I was two weeks past the LAST PCI treatment....I found I'd perked up a bit. I still get tired some days....but then again, I've been expending more energy getting ready for the holidays....decorating, baking, shopping, knitting, wrapping and mailing stuff....etc. The key is to NOT push ourselves beyond a certain comfort zone. When I'm tired.....I spend more time on the sofa reading, watching t.v., relaxing or even napping. I'm pacing myself...in order to get thru the holidays. My big day of cooking will be the 23rd...and once everyone is fed....the REST of the family can clean up for me! I'll be on the sofa with my feet up, relaxing! Just don't fight the fatigue, Alice. Do what you have to do to get adequate rest...and know that soon it will be over, and at some point after that...you'll feel some of your energy return. Happy holidays to BOTH of you sweet ladies!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Di! You already are! I have been following your day to day PCI notes and you have made me feel better about this treatment. If it needs to be done, please know that you have helped me feel better about it! You are one tough lady! Alice is doing well, too! You both make me feel so much better! Keep up the good work! Marge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bacalice Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Radioligist ceased the zaps. I didn't. he got chickened and stopped with 14 because I was so weak, i have 24 hour care and no longer try to to do any thing except use the potty. i am so tired. i am trying to find more strength to go on. with gratitude, di and all others who have helped me alice dx'd limited sclc MAY 06. 03 pci 12 /06/2004/12/12/04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Di, I am so glad to hear that your PCI is going so well, what a blessing! So glad to hear it. Alice, My mom was completely exhausted! I think that is the "norm"... Hey I have been here for a while and one time we had a survivor of SCLC come on and I believe that they had been in remission for 20 years. I know it was an extremely long time. I figure that people who aren't actively fighting this disease probably are less likely to be looking for a site like this. But I just wanted to let you know that my Mom is 2 years disease free and she had a huge tumor that had collapsed her lung and they told us twice that she wasn't doing well. Actually they had stopped her chemo because they were giving up when they found out that she was actually in remission! Alot of people don't like that word but I use it because she called up and screamed it at me when I was expecting them to say it was spreading.. I am in remission!!! Praise God things are going well! Hang in there and keep the faith!! Love and best wishes for a good 2005! Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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