caregivers for adult orphans, how many would like this?

[kimblanchard]

hi,

it's lori again. i know i've been hogging a lot of space here lately. thank heaven for this site! and for all of you, even though I'm sorry that what brought us here together is our common pain......... so sorry.....

i am wondering about something. In my deep and unrelenting grief, i find it hard to do normal things like making dinner and cleaning and well i just feel like i need someone to take care of me. my fiance, with whom i live, is an angel but he works all day and is very busy with his life, and he gives as much as he can and i am so grateful. but i wish i had someone who could take care of me! i am 40 yeras old and not a baby but i sooooooooo need nurturing and care! i wish there was an organization or SOMEONE out there who i could hire or in the best of worlds a volunteer who ccould come to my house for 2 or 3 hours a day to cook for me, maybe run some errands and clean the house and make everything nice for me.

i would also love to go to a bereavement camp or something! but the only things that i have found are for kids, and thank heaven for that. but what about us adult orphans????

does anyone else feel like this? i live out of state from my mother and my family is miniature so i have no noe nearby and my friends, well they are great, but all involved in their own lives and this is not their role.

anyway i would LOVE to hear back from any and all who would like to respond about what they need most during grieving and if they would hire a caregiver for them after such a loss!!! i would love ot hear from you on thank you! lori

[cathy]

Lori,

I know exactly what you are talking about, you sort of go through the motions but everything seems foggy..That awful fog will lift and you will start to go through your day like you did before lung cancer came into your life, it takes a while though and everybody works through it different..

As far as someone taking care of you, absolutely yes..When my dad passed my husband was awesome, tried to do everything and anything to help me..It was so comforting to have him...

Dont worry about taking up space, this is why we're here..Hang in there I know how hard it is..

[sharyn]

Hi Lori,

I can definetely relate to what you are saying. After Daddy died, I wanted to crawl on a couch with a blanket and be "taken care" of . Unfortunately, I have two teenage sons and a husband (who is a firefighter and can't miss work) and... life had to go on. Dad passed on a Wed. wake on Friday, funeral Sat. My office said to take the following week off, and I was going to, but then I realized that if I did just "curl up in that ball" I would be avoiding moving forward. Instead, I went back to work that Tuesday - and our home routine pretty much returned to normal (whatever normal is!!). That was 3 months ago, I still have days when I want to scream and say " I NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME... I JUST LOST MY DADDY. But, for the most part, I keep plugging onward - I also think there are no camps for adults because if there were, WE WOULD NEVER COME HOME!!! love, sharon

[rosegarden]

I would love something like this.

My house is such a mess right now. It's like I don't care about anything. I'm starting to care just now (it's been two months) and there is a lot to catch up on. . .

[Maryanne]

Hi Lori,

Thank G-d I did not lose anybody, but Iam a caregiver to my husband, and take care of my mom who is 94. She is in a nursing home but has all her wits about her. I visit about 3 times a week and I do her laundry. Then I take care of Joel, cook ,clean , cried with him when he was going through all this and feel the anxiety during his test. New ones are coming up, more anxiety.

I am tired also, I would love to be waited on. I don't mean going out to dinner, we do that, I just need someone just sometimes to take care of me. I guess I need a mom, to come over and just take over for a little while and say I am here you relax and let me take care of things. So I kinda know what you are going through.

Oops, have to go and make dinner. see ya later.

Maryanne

[kimblanchard]

hi, well i posted a job at a local univeristy .. yeah! i hope someone responds! i know i need some TLC and nurturing and well i'm trying to find it!

Job Posting

Part Time

Seeking household HELPER for grieving adult

Hi, My father just passed away on March 3 after a 2 year battle with cancer. I am having a very hard time and everything is such an effort. I am looking for someone to come to my home for 2-3 hours a few afternoons a week during the week to help with the following tasks:

cooking (mama's fare, home cooked, nothing fancy but with salad!)

light housekeeping (straightening, dishes, making the bed)

laundry

organizing kitchen cabinets, drawers, closets

helping with spring cleaning (switching closets)

things like that!

Qualifications:

Genuinely want to make a difference in someone's life

Neat and organized

Able to cook good but not necessarily fancy meals

Mature mind-set with some understanding of life's difficulties

Must not be allergic to cats (I have 2)

Possibly some errands within walking distance

Pay:

$/hour plus meals if you cook them!

About me:

I live with my fiance and 2 cats. I work as a gardener; it's a second career, I left the corporate world 2.5 years ago. I also have an online ebay business. I was the primary caregiver of my father for the last 6 weeks of his life. I am creative and a bit messy (but clean!).