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jcawork - Jen?


Doughnut

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We corresponded a few days ago....and not to speak for Jen...but I thought she sounded a bit better. 8) Her counts were better but they'd cut her 'roids a bit and she was missing the energy boost from that. :wink:

Said it was hot down her way and she was trying to stay cool...and also asked about vision changes. I told her mine is a bit fuzzy. Don't know if it's the Topo specifically...or chemo in general...but I'm not getting my eyes checked until I'm off chemo for a while...cuz I'm afraid they'll continue to change.

I have a feeling once she has a couple of cycles of Topo in her, that she will be feeling even better. It worked that way for me...to get rid of that unsettled tummy was HUGE. If Jen can get rid of that pain in her side...I know she'll feel much better.

Hope she checks in to see this and replies herself...as it's always a lift too, to know others are missing you and asking after you! 8)

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Addie: "Said it was hot down her way and she was trying to stay cool...and also asked about vision changes. I told her mine is a bit fuzzy. Don't know if it's the Topo specifically...or chemo in general...but I'm not getting my eyes checked until I'm off chemo for a while...cuz I'm afraid they'll continue to change.

I have a feeling once she has a couple of cycles of Topo in her, that she will be feeling even better. It worked that way for me...to get rid of that unsettled tummy was HUGE. If Jen can get rid of that pain in her side...I know she'll feel much better."

Amen to that. Jen -- if you read this, hang in there. I think it gets better. I truly do. I had that "unsettled" tummy myself, and had convinced myself it was another problem like the gallbladder that would have to be dealt with. Not so. It's just the way it is. Chemo/radiation just changes you -- in some way. We have it because it helps us, but we also pay a price for it -- some more than others.

I hope your pain lessens and you get cooled off and feeling better REAL soon, Jen. I think about you often.

Di

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Doughnut and group,

Thanks so much for thinking about me. It means a lot having friends out there that understand.

I havn't been posting because I feel like I am such a bummer. I have been reading. I don't feel like I have much to offer and I am so sick of myself I hate posting my array of physical complaints.

Well, here goes the update:

4/27 Confirmed recurrance

May twenty WBR including weekends-

Suffered from burnt inner ears that caused a total off balance thing that just ruined each day. Inner ear steroids finally helped. When my onco looked in my ears he said "Ouch! Thats hurts to even look at". They were on fire-both inside and outside.

Flank Pain for 5 weeks have no idea what its from. Onco thinks its from the big ovaries (possible mets), Rad. Onco thinks its mechanical and I pulled something.-Been better for one week?

1 week break between WBR and Chemo-not long enough

4 days Topotecan-Did okay,Onco said I was not more energetic because of having WBR right before and they lowered my steroids because I cant sleep on them.

Week post chemo-WBC hit the toilet in 2 days 1.4 and only 0.8 granulars-Levequin and start Neupogen which makes me ache so much-5 days post chemo platelets hit 46 and holding there we hope. RBC ok for now.

So, I have spent the last 6 weeks, burnt, dizzy, off balance, holding my side from pain, tired, weirded out from chemo, tummy a bit upset, not much appetite, low counts, doing shots and lets not forget that the chemo kicked up my pneumonitis so I am nebulizing ever 4 hours and wheezing. Also bad pollen here in DC.

This past Sat. I felt human for the first time in a long time. Sun felt crappy again, today better again and far more active.

I am also still depressed. Not that horrible sinking depression when you first here the bad, bad news, but a foating depression where I occasionally think all the worst things, loose hope for a while, feel why bother with any of this and then it passes.

The board has had some crappy news lately and I actually loose sleep sometimes from reading it now. Mouse lives close to me and she and I had a similar month as mine in terms of WBR, but she is not doing well and I am very sad about this. Called her and wish I could do something to help her.

So there it is. I am hanging in there w/ the help of friends like you. Thank-you again.

Jen

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