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doctors bluntness


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Hello Christymike:

GOD makes that decision for all of us. not the doc. :x:x Yes, they can quote the statistics, but ya know what?? :shock: screw the statistics, theres always hope. If your chances are 1 in 1000, whos to say your not gonna be that 1. If your not comfortable with your doc then you can always get another and I would certainly get a second opinion. After all, whats there to lose! Sorry, if I'm a bit blunt, but I get annoyed when I hear something like that.

God bless and you and your dad will be in my prayers

Bobmc - NSCLC- stageIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01

" absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"

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Christy- We had some real negative doctors...really awful ones. They go by statistics...which are mostly outdated and skewed. My mom went through 3 doctors before I found the one she has now. I realized that I was the one who had to be blunt and tell them what we (my family) was looking for before they could spew statistics or give me that awful tilt to the side, firm lips nod. I told the current doctor on our first appointment before she had the chance to speak, very bluntly, that we were not interested in statistics or time frame. I told the doctor that we wanted a doctor who would be positive, get to know us as human beings, would be willing to research all treatments and be open to questions. She looked at me and smiled and said, "I can certainly do that." She then asked how long my parents had been married, where my mom was from, got to really know my mom. It helped turn the visit around. It wasn't a 100% clinical visit which was a little refreshing at that point. I think that if the doctor gets to know the individual better then they might be more apt to want to fight for you more. If you feel uncomfortable with the doctor, get another one. I think finding the right doctor is one of the most important steps to this whole process. Christy, I know 4 people (with various cancers) that have been given such and such time to live but are still here now years later. My mom is not an idealist and the doctors before were trying to force her to deal with it the way they think she should be dealing with it. They don't know what its like to be told you have lung cancer, etc., so how can they possibly know the best way to deal with it? She doesn't want the facts, and it helps her remain positive. The previous doctors think it's unhealthy but I on the other hand have acted as her advocate so that she can be removed from the facts and focus on her health. It works for her for the time being. Wow, I'm on a soap box here. sorry.

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Get RID of that DOCTOR and quick!!! Gloom and doom have no place when you are battling this disease....consider stageIII a whole lot better than stage IV and fight it tooth and nail...there are great days ahead for your Mom but she and your family have to believe you can be victorious...we are all here to tell you that you can have successes along this road...but you have to have a medical partner to help you in this battle and this person isn't it....if you know any nurses at local hospitals call them and see who they recommend...I would ditch this doc before sunrise tomorrow!!! Tell your Mom about the victories you have read about on this site. My Dad could barely walk without gasping 6 weeks ago..today he actually carried in a bag (ok...they were light!) of groceries..he was so proud about it...he can play the piano with my daughter for 10 min. and six weeks ago he could barely lift his hand to touch the key...will he survive this damn disease for ten years..probably not...but THIS family is fighting like hell for each day and each moment to be the best it can be and we are succeeding and so can your Mom and your family...Dad is stage IV and the difference has been his new oncologist who doesn't give timelines, yet is honest...and it is his courses of radiation and his chemo once a week...don't give into this thing and don't let your Mom do it either...there are memories to be made and songs to be sung so YOU GO GIRL!!!! Good luck and your Mom is on my list to pray for...keep us posted!!!

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