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They almost admitted Darrell today to do some kind of antibiotic thearpy, but his levels were ok, but low...Although they have dropped considerably and he is at a danger level for infection....Today should have been a 30 min. visit, but turned into a 7 hour day!! Then I just called to talk to my mom my biggest supporter and my nephew answered the phone and says she is in the hospital, something about her heart, but he didn't know what!! :cry::cry: I live in Ohio and my mom lives in Indiana. and with Darrell being so sick, theres no way I can leave him right now either. I'm the one that takes him to his visits! I feel so torn and I just started crying and I swear I don't know how much more I can take! I'm worried sick about her, and Darrell, how do you chose between such a thing!! Darrell needs me, I do have 3 brothers in Indiana, but they don't spend alot of time around her, 2 of them live an hour away from her, I live 3 1/2 hours away from her... Just say an extra prayer for my mother pleaseeee...

I need to call my doctor because I can't eat or anything, my whole GI tract and stomach is so messed up. If I eat my stomach just gruggles and then hurts so bad that I can't even sleep!!! My stomach has been messed up worse than when we first found out that Darrell had cancer, and now its even worse!!!!! its been this way for a week now, but with him having to get treatment when do I have time to make an appointment for myself???? But then if I don't take care of me, who will take care of him!!

Life sucks!!! I keep thinking its just my nerves and it has to get better, but so far its just getting worse!!! I don't have time for problems now. Does anyone know anything I can take to calm my stomach and intestinal tract down?? I know this sounds crazy, but I mean its so loud the grugling that Darrell can even hear it... When I go to the bathroom its like water, I know this sounds sick, but I thought someone would know what I could take, and maybe I can skip trying to find time for me an appointment!!

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Boy, when it rains, it pours. Prayers are going up for your mom and for Darrell and some for you too. I'm not suprised your stomach is messed up with all the stress your under. Are you taking any medications? I took something for arthritis that did the same thing to me. I've since changed medication, but it was awful for a while.

Try bland foods and small meals several times a day until you have time for the doctor. Hope this helps.


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You have to take the time to make an appointment for you to have this checked out. Trying to take over the counter meds for what you've described could do you more harm than good unless you know for sure what brought this on. So please go to the doctor soon. You may have picked up an infection from something you ate, or you may have an existing gastric problem that can be dealt with properly by you doctor (IBF, or Crohn's Disease). I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is unfair that have so much on your plate.

You have my prayers for all of you.

Fay A.

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Oh Sweetie,

You desperatly need someone else you can lean on ASAP. Do you have a friend, a neighbor, someone in your church, or a family member that can help you?

Fay and Annie are right. You need to go to the doctor to see what can be done to treat the problem, not just the symptoms.

If I were you I would call the hospital where your mom is and talk with her nurse about her condition. I got to where I knew all of the head nurses and they really helped to put my mind at ease even at 2:00 a.m. Then I would talk with my brother of the nephew you talk to to find out the details of why she was there and how much he has been with her etc.

I wish I knew your name. You need to take care of your self so that you can continue being a caregiver to those you love.

Please Let us know how it goes. I will say a pray for you and your whole family.

Hugs, Shelly

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You need to RELAX and take a day just for yourself..get that doctor's appt. in the early morning..get a coffee...get a haircut....breathe deep....shop a little..get a bite to eat..then take a little walk in the park and gather your thoughts....You are no good to anyone the way you are presently....CALL someone to take care of your significant other just for one day..or if he can stay alone let him.....Guess what...none of us here can be all things to all people..I bet most of us have tried at some point during this roller coaster ride though...I know I did and I learned the hard way.....when I am a wreck it shows and that helps no one in my life//////YOU deserve to be the best you that you can be and that means stepping back and taking care of yourself..keep us posted dear...you can do this...I believe in you!!!

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Hi, If I am recalling right, Darrell has a son and a daughter who live with you all, correct????

I know you live on a farm and there is a lot to do each day, Darrell needs help, mom is in the hospital 3 1/2 hours away, you feel bad and need help. What do the 18 and 21 yr old children do????? I should think that everyone would have their chores. If not, now is the time to hand out who gets what responsibilities. No game playing, real chores.....No saying they don't do anything. If they sleep and eat there, they have chores......simple as that.....

After that is done, you need to calm down. Go shopping, as someone noted before, call your mom at the hospital, call your brother who lives by her. Things may not be that bad with her.

You are not the only one who can do all these things....you need to stop thinking no one else can. Take charge and hand out the orders.....let everyone do their share..

In between time, go to the dr. That is what I would do and wouldn't give it a second thought.....

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I want to thank everyone for their advice, I realize I'm not taking the time for myself. I guess I feel like I have no time.. Darrells son works and has football conditioning and then he spends most the time with his girlfriend. His Daughter works and runs with friends constantly.. She can't even handle being around her dad, says she can't handle it, says when she sees him it hurts too bad, so most nights she don't even come home until after 2am, just so she don't have to deal with it. I've tried talking to her about it. How important it is for her to spend time with him now. She has never been made to do anything.. Darrell blames hisself for the way his kids are, because the kids mother didn't want them and hes raised them since the oldest one was 7 years old. So he spoiled them and let them get by with things he shouldn't have. He said he always tried to make up to them for their mother being such a bad mom. He said he realizes now that he only hurt them by letting them get by with things and not making them do anything. He says its too late now, and ever since hes gotten cancer he even lets them get by with more.

I realize I need to take care of myself too, because if I don't he won't have anyone to take care of him... When I first moved in with Darrell his 91 year old mother lived with us, and she was bed ridden and I helped care for her for a year till she passed.. She had Darrell her only child when she was 45 years old... So he has no brother or sisters....I did finally call the hospital information and found out my moms room number and what floor she is on. They have her on ctu...I talked with her yesterday....and found out details, she doesn't know much yet, but her heart rate was 233 when she was at the drug store and they called the ambulance for her, she couldn't even get up..They said her heart rate is irregular...I'm gonna call her today and see what the doctor has found out.

Its funny that someone mentioned Crohns Disease, because my mother has this... I will try to get an appointment for myself sometime this next week....I realize I need some time for just me, its just so hard, and I'm torned between wanting to spend every moment with Darrell!! The thought of doing something for me makes me feel so guilty, when he feels so miserable! But I will try... thanks to all of you that have offered your help...

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