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Remembering Dave

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My mom (ok, metastasized colon cancer, not lung cancer for those of you who don't keep up with me) is very much in the dying process. she no longer can get dressed or out of bed by herself. basically dad gets her up in the morning and gets her into the recliner in the living room and she sits there all day in a semi-catonic state. we had her in the hospital for three days between Christmas and New Years and the biggest thing that happened then was the discovery of the one brain tumor (that she had the full ten days of WBR for) had turned into three brain tumors. So she got evaluated for gamma knife and unbelievably they are going to do that this Wed., Thurs. and Fri. My dad and I were amazed that she passed the "is it worth it" test. The docs there thought zapping the brain tumors were increase her energy level (they think the decadron is dragging her down). We see the daily decline and think it's more than that. But oh well, we'll give it a try. It won't save her life (since the cancer seems to be everywhere else) but may improve the quality of what life she has left.

In the meantime, a family of four here in Richmond - mom, dad, two little girls 9 and 4 - were brutually murdered on New Years Day. I only met them twice at birthday parties I'd taken Faith to, but they were DEAR friends of dear friends of mine. In the musician circle of our friends. I'm sure Dave must have known Bryan, the dad, he was a local guitarist and at one time had been musical partner with Dave's best friend's current musical partner. it's been awful, watching my good friends, suffer with such horrible messy gut wrenching grief. They arrested two thugs over the weekend - who also brutally killed another family (no children there). I went to our friends' memorial service Sat. and then over to see my Mom. I couldn't sit there and watch my mom go in and out of consciousness and had a little panic attack and had to leave, under the pretense of some errands that needed run.

It just seems so much sometimes.


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Karen, so sorry to hear that your mom isn't doing well. I know how hard this much be for you to watch happen, especially after losing Dave. I pray that the gamma knife procedure will help your moom improve and help her to feel better.

I am so very glad the police were able to catch the people responsible for this tragedy. When things like this happen to people, it always seems so senseless and such a waste of life. Here in Florida, we have cases of people being killed over a few dollars. I have to wonder what these killers are thinking? How could anyone take the life of a child?

Karen, I'm always thinking of you and remembering you and precious little Faith in my prayers.

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Hey, Lily, barely with ya'll. I really can't stand to go on the other forums. I have nothing to offer. I'm out of hope. I'm not depressed, I'm not living negatively, but I just don't have anything to offer and I can't stand to see any more struggles than I'm already experiencing right now. this family being murdered has almost been the straw on my camel's back. these thugs apparently have been on quite a crime spree, they think they've committed a whole bunch of other murders in Virginia and Pennsylvania just in the last couple of months.

so this forum seems the only appropriate place for me right now. I'm grieving a whole bunch of people at the moment.

I should update our avator with a more recent photo of Faith. she's really growing. she's in a pre-k program now and can write her name and spell words out loud, some words. I have to spell just about every other street sign we see to her. she really catches on fast to stuff. I'm going to start her on suzuki violin as soon as we meet with the teacher, figure out what size she needs and order one. I bet she aces that fast! she's a huge bright spot in my life right now although there are times when I desperately need a break. just two or three hours with another adult . . . ! I do get out every now and then but not often enough, maybe once a month.

talk to everyone later.


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I understand.

Please do post a new picture of our sweet little Faith. I'm sure that bright little one will soon be filling your home with beautiful music from a new violin!

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I really do understand how you feel. There are times I can come only to this forum because I share so much in common with the people here. Having so many other things can make your personal deep grieving last longer.

I understand too about loosing so many people. I lost 3 brothers and both parents in less than 12 years. Johnny's sister who had been my best friend when I was young was murdered during that time as well. Her murder has never been solved and all of us who love her will never really rest until that person is brought to justice. Her daughter has a cold case team working on it now but 31 years is a very long time to go back to and hope for much luck.

Faith has got to be the joy of your life. She is so precious and sounds like she is very smart. I have a grandson who is very intellegent but of coarse he is grown now but still very smart and I expect a lot out of him.

As much as you love her you do need a break once in a while. I hope you have someone to babysit so you can have time for yourself even if that time is spent and home. Sometimes that is what we need more than going out.

I will continue to pray that things even out for you and you can start the process of grieving for Dave as deeply as you need to for a while. Then you will be able to start taking those small steps. With so many other heartaches it is very hard to do that.

May God bless you and faith and your whole family.

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