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Hi, thank you for your thoughts!

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I will tell you about myself. I have being married almost 12 years. I have 2 children one is 4 years and one 19 months. I stay home with them. I used to work before my mom got sick she was my god send since she watch my children. She has being fine until 2 months ago it went down hill rapidaly. Right now she is in a rehab facility. Hospice said that we can't take her home for now because she requires 24/7 care. I have 1 brother and one sister we all are there for her. It's at little bit more difficult for me because i have to rely on someone to watch my kids. I have taken them there together is to crazy, now I take one at a time. My mom loves my children they are her life. My brother is having a baby. I pray to god that my mom can see her. I have talked to the doctors and they thing that is being to optimistic. She had a tough life that is why I don't get why she is going through this. Not that anybody deserves this horrible illness. Regarding my husband he is at little controlling I guess he never was to happy to share me with my ITALIAN close family. We are really closed we talked a lot. So maybe there are some problems there. I guess like Peggy said ther e are to side to a story. I don't want to get to complicated and bored you with all this. The bottom line is this is an horrible thing to go through and some of us are here and some you passed this tragity. It's a lot to get used to. I do you say goodbye to someone you love so much. And I should not be penalized by my husband because I want to spend time with my mom. She gave me a lot and it's time for me to be there for her.

Anyway thank you again for letting me vent.


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Thanks Martha for the update on your situation.

You are welcome to vent here anytime. I will say this, I am glad you have such a loving family and you are not going through this alone. At least you have the support of your family if and when you need it.

You are a loving daughter and do all you can for your mom so you will have nothing to feel guilty about.

I think your husband could maybe use some professional help to help him deal with his demons.

I will be thinking of you.


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I so understand having to go against the grain and sacrificing to repay your mom. Our moms were always there for us and it is now our turn. I welcome the opportunity and WANT to be there. It is very hard. I have 2 boys also, mine are 3 and 5. Sometimes the balance seems impossible!! Keep your chin up and I think you are right to be there for her, regardless of cell phone bills, time spent away from the family, etc. Maybe you can engage your husband. Maybe ask him to help you with something so that he feels a part of the sacrifice. You may even become closer because of it, it's called growing up!

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it's so hard to find that balance, with caregiving and maintaining other relationships. I made the decision you did - I took care of my mom as I knew how, and the people that love me, REALLY love me, understand and don't begrudge the loss of my attention. of course, when mom was better it was fun to 'reacquaint'. :wink:



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Hi Martha,

Sorry to hear about your Mom being so sick. I agree with everyone else...it is worth the sacrifice to be there for our wonderful Moms. Nobody will ever love you like your Mom did or makke so many sacrifices and sometimes the tables are turned and we take care of them. To me it was an honor and a privledge even though I barely saw my husband and left my 2 girls a lot of times. It will be worth it you will see. Stay strong...Janet

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Dear Martha, Honey, you can't please everyone so don't even try. Tell your husband that you need to be there for your Mom and you need to not feel pulled away or guilty about your time with her. Tell him that when she is gone you will need to be able to look in the mirror and know that you were there for her. That is the only advice I have.



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