Guest casey2693 Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Hi again, It's Lisa, from Ohio. I know everyone's cancer, and treatments are different, but if someone could tell me what my Dad is going through is normal or to be expected, I would be so happy. He has NSCLC that has spread to the lymph nodes. I have watched him decline weekly since the end of December. He started radiation last week, and was told that the treatments would pretty much wipe him out completely. I can't imagine him getting any weaker than what he is now. If that is the case, I wonder how he will make it to his treatments. His breathing is so bad, and the coughing is more than he can take. He gets himself so worked up when he coughs that he thinks he is going to stop breathing. He is also experiencing alot of incontinence. His pain is so bad he is on Oxycontin and Percocet. (Don't know if I spelled those right) LOL His Oncologist has offered no information whatsoever. I keep asking my Mom to take him to someone else. I really don't care for the man at all. I have been to a couple of his appointments, and they are all the same, and no more answers. I guess I just need to know if anyone else has had someone they love look like every day might be their last? Can someone recover from something like this if they resopond to the treatments?? My Dad keeps asking when he is going to die, and they just keep telling him that he is not ready yet. And he will know when it's time to quit. I honestly don't know how much more he can take. It's even an effort for him to eat now. He has started refusing to eat now. He has a CT scan scheduled for the 27th. I'm hoping this will either bring some encouraging news, or help my Dad decide what it is he wants to do. Well, thanks for letting me vent. Any words of experience would be appreciated. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 You are so right, Lisa, that everyone's cancer is different....no matter that it may be the 'same' type. I was dx with NSCLC and my journey has been very different than your Dad's. That said, and keeping in mind that you do not care for the onc, my suggestion would be to scurry to get another opinion and hooked up with someone who is willing to share info and with whom you feel comfortable. Sorry that is all can offer at this time, Lisa. Just sounds like you need info and you aren't getting any. That should put up red flags everywhere. This journey is difficult enough without adding discontent with the medical personnel. Unfortunately many HAVE had that same experience. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethluvswill13 Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Lisa-Im so terribly sorry for you. I know exactly how it feels to watch your dad decline. The sad part of it is that's all you can do is watch and pray. I'll be praying for you and your dad. Remember everyone is different and that could be positive. Just ry and keep yourself thinking positive and take each day as it comes. Hugs, Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I am so sorry Lisa. I can hear the pain in your post and I understand what you are going through. If you really want answers ask the Doc for copies of any reports from scans, etc. You can get alot of info from the reports that the doc doesn't say. I'm sure the treatments are wearing him out. You may want to get some depends or something like that for the incontinance. Maybe ask the doc for some kind of cough syrup. Just love him like every day is his last. WE Should all do that anyway and don't forget to take care of yourself thru all of this. Sending big hugs and many prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Lisa, I'm going to echo what Kasey has said. Has your father had a 2nd opinion? Believe me I know from experience that one doctor doesn't know everything, a tumor board doesn't know everything. Some surgeons can do things others can't, some meds work better than others. Different people bring different ideas, expereinces to the table. If you don't like the onc, aren't getting good vibes and answers to your questions that sounds like a red flag. I would encourage your dad to talk with another doc. I think older patients sometimes feel that this indicates a lack of trust on the doctor or disloyality. But any good doctor will encourage a 2nd or 3rd opinion. I would say you don't have anything to lose and everything to gain. Good luck, dear. Tami Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I agree that if the onc is not forthcoming with plans, reasons, etc. and answering your questions, it is time to find another onc. You want one that will fight along with you. It is common for people under treatment to stop eating because of nausea and things don't taste right, but it is imperative that your dad continue to get fluids and nutrition, or he will go downhill fast. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I echo what Don said-- he needs to eat and drink. We are on our 3rd oncologist and quite happy-- keep looking until you find someone with whom you're comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miami Janet Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hi Lisa, I understand how you feel , nothing is worse than seeing our parents who were once our rocks become so weak and helpless. I am certainly not an expert but am willing to share specifics of my Moms symptoms and progression if it will help someone else. I didnt see any info on what stage your Dad is in??I also didnt like my Moms doctor but she was too sick for us to shop around. Anyway....pm me with specific info on Dad and specific questions....I think sometimes the doctors dont like to tell us much because they dont want to be wrong but it is frustrating not to know. Anyway, stay strong and tell Dad you love him every day. Much Love, Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Phycisians who are not receptive to the patients concerns should be replaced by Physicians who are. Period. Takes work, but we're talking about your Father's life. Should be worth some work to find him one who will care for him appropriately. And that means addressing the issues of inability to eat and drink while undergoing very harsh treatment. I guess the short answer to your question is "Yes, it can be normal for a Lung Cancer Patient to be allowed to have his very real side effects to treatment go untreated. It happens all the time. You have to ask for what you need. And you sometimes have to demand it. Fight for it." But it SHOULD NEVER BE ACCEPTED that this "normal" is correct or proper or right on any level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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