Jump to content

lost


Guest LittleBlueWorld

Recommended Posts

Guest LittleBlueWorld

Hi,

I am brand new to this board. Here is my situation (or my dad's):

About 2 weeks ago my dad had a minor stroke. He was in the hospital for 2 days and was doing so well they sent him home. My mother was concerned about his recent weightloss and wanted him to be screened for cancer. As it turns our he has a large tumor in his lung.

I do not have very accurate details because my parents don't seem to want to share them. I know that it has spread - I don't know how much. He went to see a pulminary specialist today and he is having a biopsy on Monday.

I don't know if the cancer is treatable. He is 76 and a bit weakened from the stroke.

I feel quite lost right now. I am sad and depressed. My dad wants everyone to stay upbeat and I am trying to stay strong around him, but when I get home I crash.

I have a feeling the outlook is not good for him.

I am worried about going into work and having to share this news with people....

Thanks for listening,

Amy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Amy,

I do know how you feel. FOr me, it was better for my peace of mind to know everything about my dad's cancer and take control of his treatments. Maybe you can ask your dad to let you in, even just alittle bit, so that you can research for him and in turn that will give you the feeling that you are actually doing something to help and show you care. Open up to him and let him know that you want to help and that there is so much info out there on treatment options that you want him to know them all and have the best chance.

As far as work, for me, I only told a few people. I felt isolated at my last job because people seemed to stop laughing in front of me and stopped inviting me out to lunch. They all knew about my dad at my last job and it seems as though I wasn't any "fun" anymore, and I didn't help things by ONLY talking about my dad and this cancer.....

My new job is great and so is my boss. He knows and so do two others. I have to remind myself that not everyones world revolves around chemo, radiation and lung cancer...it's hard when that is everything our lives consist of now.

You've just started this journey with your dad. Buckle up and arm yourself with info., support, and enjoy each day you have with him.

People ARE surviving this disease each day, look right here for proof. This is a FANTASTIC group of people. Welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LittleBlueWorld

KatieB,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. I am getting ready for work now so we'll see how it goes. Luckily I do work with great people who really care.

Thank you.

Amy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Amy,

Welcome to a wonderful bunch of people. Im sorry about your father's diagnosis. In May when my father was diagonsed with lung cancer I fell apart. He is only 63 and has battled lymphoma twice before in the last 4 years. He is a wonderful man and I have looked up to him all my life.

Like Katie said, I find comfort in knowing all the facts. Everyone handles things differently. My mother and sister just want to hear everything is fine, I need to know why. As for telling other people, I smiled at Katie's post where she writes that she felt all she talks about is chemo, radiation, etc. I feel like thats all I think about too, other things seem so unimportant. Thats why I love coming to this board. Everyone REALLY knows how you feel. Everyone REALLY wants to help and support you.

When you find out more about the type of lc he has, and what stage, let us all know. You'll find survivors at all stages here, so dont automatically feel the outlook isnt good. My father is not as strong as others because he battled cancer before and had a stem cell transplant, so dont think because he had a stroke and is weaker that he still cant beat it.

From one daughter to another, keep in touch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome to the board!

I understand how you feel about putting your strong "game face" on and crashing when you get home. That I think is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. Everyone at my work knows. I hesitated telling at first. My husband called my manager to tell him and we asked him to not tell anyone but later I figured I'd have to tell a few people so they understand why my work has been slipping and why I am taking sick time and vacation time to be there for my mom's doctors visits. Even if I told a few people eventually everyone would find out later. When I came back to work after a week out, my grief was written all over my face, so it was hard to hide. Because I had to put my "game face" on and my parents were living with me for a while, I'd crash at work...cry every day. Luckily through telling people at work, I've managed to have a great support system when I feel bad at work (which is almost daily). They have taken the time to keep me upbeat, positive and listen. The only thing is when people know, they ask you about it constantly...how you are doing, how your family member is doing...because they care, but sometimes I want to escape it and not talk about it...that's the down fall of telling people. There are so many people out there that care...including us here on this board. You are not alone in this. We will help you with your research and be a great support to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello,

I bet by now you are just about cried all you think you can and still feel lost.

It is possible your parents are just as confused as you are at the present time. I would suggest you go to www.blochcancer.org and learn as much as you can on that sight. There are many treatments or surgeries that can be done but each patient is different. They should learn more after the biopsy is done. Lung cancer has a type and a stage and the biopsy will give that info. According to what it is is how treatment will be. If you don't like the treatment they suggest, go for a second opinion....second opinions have helped many people to survive longer...Good luck and will say a pray for you and your family...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LittleBlueWorld

Hi again,

Thank you to everyone for your encouraging words - they have helped alot.

My dad went back into the hospital today because he was having trouble breathing and it turns out he had a blood clot and almost had another stroke but they caught it in time. He will be in the hospitial through the weekend.

I did talk to my mom a bit today and she reassured me that they will seek treatment if it will help my dad. I was a bit worried for some reason. She also let me know that as far as the cancer spreading she doesn't think it has spread to "vital" organs but to his esophagus. They will know much more after the biopsy on Monday.

It is so hard to see my dad with all of the tubes hooked up to him. He has barely been sick a day in his 76 years - and this has just sort of come out of the blue (he has had a nagging cough for a few years, but nothing else). He is very scared and nervous - and again that is hard to see.

My mom is also having a hard time seeing him in that condition and therefore doesn't stay at the hospital as long as I think he would like her to, but we are all doing our best to do as much as we can.

One final note, work went okay today. I cried for about the first 45 minutes - having to inform key people etc. Everyone has been so nice though.

Thanks for listening.

Amy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.