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I got some sad news today. I was expecting it but that didn't make it any easier. Today my special lady Claire passed away. She had a heart attack yesterday and her son called me to let me know. I never did go see her at the nursing home I just couldn't face seeing her there. I was going to go to the hospital this morning but something came up and I really wasn't anxious to see her unconcious and hooked up to all of those tubes and monitors. I want to remember her with her little crochet hat and the big smile on her face when she would open the door and see me.

Her son is trying to make the arrangements around my schedule so I can go to the service. He told me that she loved me as much as her family and in some ways I was closer to her. I love that dear little lady so much. It is impossible to keep from getting attatched.

I know this is probably not the place to post sense she didn't have LC but so many of you voiced an interest in her while I was caring for her I thought I should let you know.

It seems so strange the way things are for me now. My ex husband's death was really a blow to me but somehow it has helped me move past my deepest sorrow from loosing Johnny. I still grieve for him everyday but the intensity has fallen off. I grieve for my ex too but it has never been that all consuming heartache that loosing Johnny caused. As I think about Claire I almost feel like somehow I have hardened to death but I know that is really not true. I have just learned to cope better.

My grandchildren and children were so devistated from the loss of Denis that I had to be strong to help them. In doing so I saw what I had been doing to myself and realized how much Johnny would be upset. He gave me the chance for a new life. He loved me like no one else ever has and would not want me to waste my life in such deep depression. Trying to help my family made me see those things. I am doing so much better now.

One more thing I do want to mention is that I have two more people who I love who are not doing well right now. Our pastor's wife is home again but she really just came home from the hospital to die. It will be any day now. There is nothing else they can do for her cancer. I also found out that Johnny's brother is in the hospital again with a high fever. This is nothing new to him but I do worry. Please say an extra prayer tonight for these two very dear and special people.

To all of you who have lost someone recently my heart goes out to you. I haven't had the time to write to each of you like I would want to. Please just know that all of you are in my prayers. I know how heartbroken you are. Bless all of you. Lillian

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So much sorrow but we do have to continue in order to help Gods Plan for us along. Condolences and Prayers for you and everyone who is ailing. Much love and positive vibes today.

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I just want to add an update here. Yesterday morning April 26 at 5am Sharon Hester our Pastor's wife left this world for a better one. This was her second round with Uteran cancer that had spread to her colon and other areas. She will be greatly missed not only by her family but by this small community that she gave so much of herself to. Please say a prayer for her husband, family and all of us who she is so dear to.

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