Jump to content

Southern -Ness


Recommended Posts

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a

conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.


Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip

greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."


Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction

of "yonder."


Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:

"Going to town, be back directly."


Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request

for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl

in the middle of the table.


All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not

use the ter m, but they know the concept well.


Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of

solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and

a big bowl of cold 'tater salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real

crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!


Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"

and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1

mile or 20.


Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between

a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.


No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing

turn signal is actually going to make a turn.


A Southerner knows that "fixin' " < /SPANcan be used as a noun, a

verb, or an adverb.


Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when

we're "in line," (not "on line," Yankees) ... we talk to everybody!


Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover

they're related, even if only by marriage.


In the South, y'all is singular, and all y'all is plural.


Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.


Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee

are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and

that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.


When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know

you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!


Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea

indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea

unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.


And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little

old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"

... and go your own way.


To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your

Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call

me in the morning.


And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding

all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to

have classes on Southernness as a second language!


And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a

long time, all y'all need a s ign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads

"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."



Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.

A winning smile.

That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:

"Yes, ma'am."

"Yes, sir."

"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :

"Y'all come back!"

"Well, bless your heart."

"Drop by when you can."

"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:




Southern women know their vacation spots:

The beach

The beach

The beach

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:

Colorful hi-heel sandals

Strapless sun dresses

Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:




Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:




Southern women know their country breakfasts:

Red-eye gravy



Country ham

Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

Charleston (Chawl'stn)

Savannah (S'vanah)

Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)

New Orleans (N'awlins)

Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:

Men in uniform.

Men in tuxedos

Rhett Butler, of course!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:

The Mall

The Country Club

The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the four deadly sins:

Having bad hair and nails

Having bad manners

Cooking bad food

Wearing too much makeup in the summer

Southern girls know men may come and go,but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, send this to some girls who were raised in the

South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it.

We know you got here as fast as you could.....!!!

Bless your hearts ... y'all have a blessed day now, y' hear?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quick History Note;

The south did not lose the war; we got tired of Fightin it!

Thaanks I needed a good laugh and that was right on the money :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a gal from Alabama, I will have to admit that it is all true...ya'heah!

Also when we wash veggies in south Alabama we "run them through waters". As in,"those peas were prity dirty. I had to run them through 3 waters." For those of you that haven't figured it out....they were washed 3 times.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.