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My neck hurts from trying to see whats around the corner


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Just wanted to let you guys know that Dad starts radiation on his shoulder blade this week. Today he got his "tattoo(s)" and radiation will start Thursday. He will have a total of 12 sessions, they will be done every mon-friday, with Sat and sunday off. The radiologist put Daddy on pain medication in the mean time, but said that 70% of radiation patients will have no pain following completion of the treatment-not bad.

This morning my phone rang and Dad got on and said, "Deb, I feel great...I feel like I can take on the world." :D the pain meds are working, thank God. On Sunday I spent the day there and Daddy could only sit in a chair. He was sick of the pain, and of not being able to do anything. He keeps saying that if it weren't for the back pain, he'd "feel great", because nothing else is bothering him. Its so frustrating.

Today, he woke up feeling so great, and after the tattoo-my parents were able to visit with their very good friends. Dad also ate. His apetite comes and goes, it is never 'normal', but there are days, like yesterday, where all Mom could get in him is a can of boost. :(

Last week my mom called and she said that Dad was in the den and called for her urgently, which scared the 'sh*# ' out of her. She got in the room and Dad was very calm, and he said "I just got this feeling that came over me that I'm gonna be alright...I can't explain it, but it is such a strong feeling." my mom said "thats God" and my dad said "He always was my best friend." :cry::) I had to get off the phone because I got all choked up, and didn't want my mom to know it. Daddy has so much faith. He says that he is not afraid to die, but he has so much to live for. His faith gives me strength. It is so hard. Every morning I wake up and think "will this be a good day or a so-so day or a bad day...lately its been mostly bad. Will this be good? Will things get a bit better today?"

...and my neck hurts from the strain of trying to see whats around the corner.

Take care everyone, hang tough-as maincoon said "COWBOY UP" Deb

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I am so glad to hear your dad is feeling well and that he continues with his positive attitude. I have been thinking of you.

I know exactly what you mean about always peering around the corner. I was just telling my therapist that I feel "suspended" in life right now. I try my hardest to practice what I preach, enjoy each day. But sometimes cancer and all the horrible things associated with it overtakes me. It is so hard not having control and living in the unknown. But I try to take those days where my mom is feeling good (like your dad is now) and make the most of them.

I pray that each day gets better for him and your family.

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