janehill Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 I will preface this by saying, please don't read on if you can't handle some venting. I desperately need to but you don't need to read it if it's not a good time. Save yourself! Today I just about went postal on a colleague who told me I should "look into some wonderful services that are available" to me. I snapped. Maybe it's because I have no more patience for such cluelessness. Maybe it's because I have even less patience for such cluelessness from someone whose own mother received a breast cancer diagnosis 30 minutes prior to being hit by a truck (sad, shocking - but true) and faced brain trauma along with mastectomy and chemo. If one more person tells me about all of these "wonderful services," I will scream so loud my dog will probably jump through the kitchen window in a desperate attempt to escape this crazy house! I said, Listen here missy, my mother does not need a makeover and a free wig. My mother does not need someone to read Keats to her. My mother does not need stationary so she can jot down her feelings. My mother needs a home health care aide who can come every single day and help her with more pressing things like wiping her butt! Can you understand how insulting it is to trivialize her very serious condition by "reminding" me of the "wonderful services" of total fluff BS out there! It's tantamount to me visiting the refugee camps in Sudan, knowing the horrible conditions those poor people are enduring and offering them free makeovers. Please wake up! She walked away - and I'm not even a little bit sorry! I wish I could have slapped her too. Okay, I'm not quite as evil as I am sure I come off right now. I'm just tired and frustrated and sad and extremely, extremely, extremely disgusted with the way a very wealthy country like the United States treats their elderly and sick. Medicare doesn't cover skilled nursing, no sir they DO NOT. And if my mom needs such care, I can plop her into a nursing home (over my very cold dead body - I've visited plenty!), they'll wipe out her assets and then Medicaid will cover the outrageous 10K/month for the most dismal care anyone can imagine. After a lot of research I was able to find an agency that provides home health care aides for no more than 8 hours/week to mom and it's been a blessing. But there is no government funding behind it, you can be sure. The only government service is JACC, which provides the same amount of hours and they won't overlap the services of another agency (like the non-profit one she's using). I'll stay with the non-profit and forget the government nightmare! Believe me, I've called dozens of numbers from the American Cancer Society, the Lung Cancer Society, government agencies and every shred people have suggested. Eventually I hit a wall where I realized, no one is doing a thing for these folks who are in the greatest need of all - other than offering up a nursing home, a ride to the doctor on occasion and yes - a makeover so she feels better! Thanks but no thanks! (by the way, I may boycott Revlon, Loreal and Maybelline - just out of revulsion!) Even all of the "wonderful services" are superficial at best. Please don't get me wrong, that's nice and fine for most people but when someone is really in need, really really in tough physical circumstances, it's insulting to offer them a free makeover and wig when they have far more pressing and immediate needs, like washing themselves. I'm just terribly hurt by the insensitivity and stupidity of so many fellow humans. In the last few months I have truly felt as though I were in the Twillight Zone. Like I'm the only person who gets this and everyone else is in Stepford-ville, walking around like everything's just dandy and thinking that I just don't want to be happy. Huh?! Last month, when another colleague told me how there were "great services" when her mom had late-stage colon cancer and people would take her to the doctor, I said, My mother has an electric wheelchair - she cannot get a "ride" from someone - it's far more complicated than that. Then she said, "well, I'm sure there are volunteer services for her too - you're just closing the door without knowing." So I said, "can you take my mom next week for her CT scan? or at least, can you call around and help me find a volunteer agency that can do that for her - that would be great! She dropped it quick and has never made another suggestion again. See, it's easy to offer up empty and useless nonsense until someone calls you on it! Argh! (See, I did warn you all, this is a bad post. Sorry. Promise to improve!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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