Mefoster Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Tomorrow finishes my husbands 6th cycle of chemo. We have never been told or have we asked his prognosis but have been told that he is ahead of the ball game and everything looks good. We've just been told from the get go that they are going to treat his cancer very agressively, and that they have. We will get results of a PET scan from last Thursday tomorrow also. Here's where I would like some advice or input........I don't know if I should, or what I should ask the Dr. If I ask the Dr. anything should I do it in front of my husband? I have never talked to the Dr. without my husband in the room as I don't want him thinking I am keeping anything from him. My husband does not want to hear anything negative at all. I don't want to hear anything negative either but is there things I should be asking for the future but not asking with my husband around? I have not kept anything from him regarding his illness and I don't want to start keeping things from him so am I better off not asking the Dr. anything? My husband tells everyone tomorrow he is done and he can't wait for the chemo drugs to be out of his body so he can get back to normal. I am cautiously optimistic but stay totally positive with him. This disease just scares me so much. His Chemo Oncologist did tell us last week that he will continue seeing him on a regular basis along with his Internal Medicine Dr. and Radiation Oncologist. Any suggestions to my questions is greatly appreciated. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3boys4amy Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I will tell you what happened with my dad and his girlfriend. She told me the other night that she just blurted out the question, how much time did he have. THe doctor answered her and my dad was in the room (although, they have not told me, she said she wants my dad to be the one). My dad was upset and said that he wished she had not asked because he didn't want to know how much longer he had. My advice is to go with your gut. If you don't think your husband wants to hear the negative and if it would affect his recovery or his will, I would not ask in front of him. Best of luck and many prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 It's a tricky situation. I personally think you need to agree with your hubby about what you ask the doctor and when, if that is how you've been approaching it thus far. My hubby was the same at first -- didn't really want to know any details at all. At first, the agreement was that the doctors would discuss anything "bad" with me. He changed his mind along the way and wants to know the details about what he's dealing with -- but only specific to himself (not statistics). We still have an agreement with our doctors that we don't talk about prognoses. And we usually discuss between ourselves what we're going to talk about with the doctor at each appointment. Make sure you know the next steps and the plan, and that the doctor knows where you and your husband stand as far as wanting to take an aggressive approach, etc. Hope this helps. I do understand how difficult it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 The prognosis is a hard one to answer-- it is important to stay positive to fight this and it is hard to be positive once you've been given a time line. I wouldn't ask in front of him if you decide to ask. What concerns me is that he most likely will be switched to another chemo and it sounds like he is under the impression he's done. If you read my profile you will see that my husband's diagnosis is similar and he has been on treatment non-stop. Let us know how the appointment goes. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 When it comes to speaking to Alan's Drs regarding prognosis, I do not aks in front of Alan and to be honest his Drs will not discuss this in front of him. We had some close calls when Alan was 1st dignosed which caused some anxious moments for myself (and Alan' Drs), but Alan has done pretty well for a while now. So any discussion of prognosis are done between Alan's drs and myself. I hope your husband contines to do well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Your husband has expressed he doesn't want to hear anything negative and I would respect his wishes. Prognosis in lung cancer is not often accurate and is a statistic, an average. Each individual is treated differently and reacts differently. My wife and I asked so we could put it behind us. The onc would not have told us otherwise. He said 9 months and she lived 4 years. So what does it gain you to her a statistic? It is best to think positively, fight the disease, live each day to the fullest and have hope and faith. That's my slant on it. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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