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So out of sorts


karenlaureti

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Just so scared out out of sorts lately. My Dad now has extensive sclc. two spots on lung, two lymp nodes, spot on spine. I had gotten him into John Hopkins and he was there a month but unfortunately was unable to do the clinical trial and is now taking CPT11 every 3 weeks. My Dad's oncologist is stating that he has at the most 6 months, no more than a year (I have hope most of the time and don't go by this). It is so wierd though, I feel like thisis all happening around me but yet, I don't want to believe it. I put it in the back of my mind and never ever would cry in front of my parents. It is so hard too because they are 15 hours away from me. Sometimes it is so hard to just work during the day and think straight. I guess I just feel so helpless. He has another scan done at the end of

August. I am praying that the chemo is doing its job. I hate this disease!

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Oh I am so sorry that you have to have this weight on your heart. I too hat ethis disease! I pray that the chemo is working and with that comes renewed hope. Try to stay strong and believe and have faith. THis disease can drain us of those things, and Dr. who give time lines do not help, but it is so important to try to stay strong.

I know that it is easier said than done, and all those feeling you have are real and OK to have. We all understand and are here to support you!

Prayers to your family,

Dana

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Karen i have been through that feeling of hopelessness but thank's to my wife for her strenght and showing no fear of dying and trusting GOD's will i was able to deal with it all.Stay strong and remember not my will be done but your's...

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Karen,

I'm sorry you're going through this. Some of us all too well know how it feels.

I sometimes wonder about the docs who give time lines. If their right it will boost their ego because "they're so smart" and if their wrong, they'll be a hero because they're the ones involved in the treatment plan that has worked a little longer than they expected.

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

Prayers for your Dad and family and especially you. I hate you are suffering with worry. Please try and ask God for strength.

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Oh Karen,

I am so sorry to read your posts. I had such a good feeling about everything that was going on with your dad. Urgh!!! Do NOT give up hope...because there still is hope, of course! Stay strong and know that we are here for you. Karen, you have maintained the faith up until now, so keep it going!

Blessings,

Jen

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Hi I understand. My Mom who has had ext since the beginning is going on one year. I know the Dr's never thought she would make it 6 months. Now it's back in her liver and she too is on cpt11-once a week for 6 weeks. I hope it works. I can't worry everyday anymore that my Mom is going to die. I can't function with that anxiety. I have learned to just take it one day @ a time and when I start to worry about it not working or her getting sicker I just think about how she is doing @ the moment and take it from there...does that make sense? It's hard but I have been doing it for almost one year. I kind of like living this way actually-the not worrying about what tomorrow brings-because none of us know so why worry about it until there is something to worry about??

Take care, keep the faith

Dar

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Karen -

Just wanted to let you know that I also live far from my mom (who has limited SCLC): 2000 miles. It's hard to feel useful so far away, although I did spent a month with her this summer over 3 different visits.

Just another "you're not alone" post...

Linda C.

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  • 2 months later...

Karen;

I want you to know that I truly understand what you described as "happening all around you" - as I felt that and still do. I feel that it is mostly due to the fact that you have no control. All these years we control ourselves, what we eat, what we do, where we go and all of the sudden you feel as if you are riding a wave and you just have to go with it. You are doing what you fully can do and that is your best. You do what you can and some days that might feel like the wrong thing! I would be as supportive as I could be for my father but he was like a woman sometimes and would lash out at me for no reason!! God only knows what it must be like for them but please please know you are doing what you must and a great job at a tough situation. My prayers are with you.

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