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I just knew you guys would "get" it. Heres how my day went after I lost my cross. I was supposed to go to job shadow at a new pharmacy (the owner has been trying to get me to work for him for about three months). I had been putting him off cuz I wasn't ready to leave a place where I have been for 10 years. So after my cross went down the drain I was up all night crying and thinking that all sorts of bad things will happen now. I woke up paralyzed by a fear that things would never be the same again. How could I even think of taking a new job? Then I realized that things couldn't get much worse than losing my mom and things haven't been the "same" for quite a while now. And besides my kids are 24,22, and 16 and they have a whole lot of decisions left to make in their life and what kind of example will I set for them if I let this paralyze me. Also I look at it as my Moms way of telling me it is time to move forward and I always listen to my mom. So I went and spent the day there and it was great. He does a ton of charitable work and invests a lot of time in the community and all the people there are great.

My daughter and her boyfriend came over around 1:00-am the night I lost my cross and he took some of the pipes apart and couldn't find it. Also my husband( who doesn't do well with emotional stuff) went shopping and bought me a new cross. He said he knows its not the same but maybe if I have a cross around my neck it will be like mom is watching over me (she always wore a cross.) I never in million years could have imagined how hard this would be and how much I would miss her. One day at a time I guess.

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Maybe your mom was pushing you out of the paralysis! See, she is still with you and giving you advice. I"m glad to hear that you were able to use the experience to move forward. If your mom is anything like my mom, I know that she would be touched that you miss her so much, but she wouldn't want you to stop living and growing just because she wasn't there. So it sounds like she gave you a little nudge!


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