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Thank you for the advice in the Issues with Siblings thread. I went out and talked to a very close friend who is like a sister to me. She basically said the same things.

There's even more (That;s why the new thread.)

Hi All,

I had a couple of issues yesterday.

First of all, there were too many family members here yesterday. One of them who feels the need to come over every weekend and the other needs a cookout every weekend. My dad does not want people over here partying. He's fed up with it. I don't blame him. My friends are sensitive to that and refuse to come in now. (I can't have friends over and can't leave the house. GESH.)

My second issues is my family does not understand about the low counts. My youngest brother came over with a sore throat. I told him that he could NOT come in. My mom told him that he could not come in. I went out for a bit because I had to talk to someone. I come back in and my brother comes in uses the bathroom and sits at the computer. I was fit to be tied!! My family looked at me like "What?"

Kristi

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Kristi,

I dont know what to say except, I am sorry your family (brothers) just doesnt get it. Its sad to say,but they will be the ones who will be carring the gulit in the end. Even if your parents dont say it now, i am sure they are very grateful that you are there to take care of them. I cant imagine how things would be for them if you brothers were left in charge with all of this.

Please try to find time for yourself, even if its hiding in the bathroom for 10 minutes, you need it!

Shelli

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Find the warning about low blood counts and risk of infection from the National Cancer Institute or similar- copy/past it into a word document. Then above the warning- type in ALL WHO ENTER_ PLEASE READ THIS FIRST

Then below it, copy the warning

Then type below that- if you are suffering from a running nose, sore throat, cold, cough, or infectious in anyway- please do the patient a favor and do not enter. During times of low blood counts, it is recommended that the patient stay away from crowds and small children. Use the phone, e-mail or send a letter. If you care about the patient at all, you will follow the guidelines as stated above by the NCI.

Then print it out and tape the dang thing to your front door!!!

They can't argue with that unless they can't read!!!

Frustrated for you,

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My dad is mad at me because I am going to say something to the onc today about my brother and his sore throat being in the house. Too bad! I do not want my dad to get a life-threatening infection because someone does not get it. I hope none of us get it. If I get it, I have to leave the house. I think that a family meeting with a social worker is a must at this point.

Kristi

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Wow, so sorry you are having these problems at this time, family is supposed to be supportive! I definitely agree with a meeting wth an objective but knowledgeable outsider and also with posting or someway educating your brothers on the dangers of low blood counts and other matters concerning the patient, if they care they will pay attention.

Good luck and I will be thinking of you!

Deb

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hi Kristi. Yes a family meeting with a social worker sounds like a great idea. Post Katie's signs and if you know any "little people" that like to draw, get them to make some "Please Wash Your Hands" signs/posters and put them up in the washrooms etc. That will help guests get the message. My daughter did some wonderful ones for me! Make sure each of your parents have their own handtowels in the washroom as well and a separate one for guests. Get them some funky cool color!

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Get a box of masks. If immediate family members have cold symptoms, they can stay only if your dad is ok with it and up for the visit, and only if they wear masks.

Tell the partiers your family is tightening the circle right now, so although the visits are a thoughtful gesture, it's too tiring for your dad right now.

Good luck

Karen

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