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My mom...an update

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I have not been on the bbs in a while (two days ago my first post in months)

But I have been reading posts over the last few months: applauding at great news on scans and Neds, etc

Saying prayers for those begin another round of treatment...and shedding

a tear and prayers for those who have begun another journey...

Well today, my brother and I made the call to put my mom in hospice. It will be at home care hospice. The oncologist had gently suggested this for about a month.

Now, I know what hospice means, yet I know sometimes things can turn around

and 'miracles' can happen. Yet I am a realist, wtih hope and prayer, but still

a realist.

I guess I thought we would have had more time since the dx before we got to this point, but during these last eight months since the dx, it has been one step forward then two or three steps back ...

we never was really able to get the treatment started continued and finished liked we had hope as medical issues added complications to the mix.

That irks me as much as the disease and its effects on my mom

So this Saturday I will go home to be with my family so I can be there when

the hospice nurse makes her evaluation visit on Monday. One good thing about this

is my ma can still see her oncologist every other week for her blood work, if she

chooses or the hospice nurse can do it.

My grandmother has been my mom's primary caretaker but it is taking its toll on her and

my brother, the other caretaker of my mom. Yeah grandma thinks she's 25, but hey...lol

My last visit was about 3 weeks ago and there was a marked decline in my mom from my previous visit which was few months ago although phone calls were the norm during those months

Mom's appetite is now almost nil althought she never was a big eater at all. Though there are days when she eats.

Her legs are very weak. For the week I was there in July I was worn out so I can only imagine what my grandmother feels.

The sad thing about ths is up from about Mid- May till about early July, the oncologist had hoped my mom would gain weight and be able to resume infusion chemo, but her weight, albeit low, was stable till about the week before my visit when she lost a pound. Like the doctor told me "No way to infusion chemo if my mom's weight is too low."

I think he made the correct recommendation about hospice though although I really didn't like it, my mom will get what she needs and my grandmother will get the help she needs as well.

My brother and I are thinking alternative medicine as well. (like I said I do have hope and prayer)

I do believe there is something to be said for it. So I'll be heading home this weekend and will probably be there for a week to help settle us into this phase of our lives.

So onward we go as a family...

Love to all


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I am so sorry, Ree. I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be for your family.

I hope you and your mother will find hospice care as comforting and helpful as I and my family have (never hesitate to ask them about anything, no matter what the subject--their knowledge about and experience with end of life issues is enormous).

Please give your grandmother a special hug from me as I know from what my own mother went through with my sister, and now with me, that surviving your children--no matter how old they are--is one of the worst experiences a parent can face.

With all my love and affection,


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Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I'll be leaving tonight to go home to my family. I will have limited access to a computer for the next week, so I probably won't post an update till I get back.

Btw, you are so right my grandma was a nurse for thirty six years before retiring and on my last visit home she said to me, "The patients I was able to help and here I am now unable to help my own child."

And my mom is her last surviving child as well so yes this is doubly hard on her.

Again thank you all for posting your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. I'll update you when I return from my visit.

Love and hugs


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