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Halloween Humor


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Halloween Humor

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: How do you make a witch stew?

A: Keep her waiting for hours.

Q: How do ghosts begin their letters?

A: "Tomb it may concern..."

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?

A: He was repossessed.

Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person's Corn Flakes?

A: A cereal killer

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What is a ghost's favorite ride?

A: A roller ghoster.

Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?

A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?

A: Tired blood.

Q: Why was the mummy so tense?

A: He was all wound up.

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?

A: A dead end.

Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?

A: You can see right through him.

Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?

A: They both have megabytes.

Q: Where do vampires live?

A: At the Vampire State Building.

Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?

A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?

A: Lake Erie.

Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?

A: They get shudders.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?

A: It had no body to dance with.

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?

A: Hello, hello, hello.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

A: Spelling!

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?

A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: What tops off a ghost's sundae?

A: Whipped Scream

Q: What has a black hat, flies on a broomstick, and can't see anything?

A: A witch with her eyes closed.

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?

A: Because he's always a goblin.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?

A: He's mist.

Q: What sailor like to be chilled to the bone?

A: A skeleton crew.

Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

A: In the casketeria.

Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?

A: Over the ghoul line.

Q: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A: Toasty ghosty.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A: Hoblin Goblin.

Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?

A: A Sand-witch

Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?

A: A boo-loney sandwich.

Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?

A: A wash-and-werewolf.

Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?

A: Fasten your sheet belt.

Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with?

A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What is a vampires favourite mode of transportation?

A: A blood vessel.

Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?

A: A blood hound.

Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?

A: Hallowieners.

Q: What do you call serious rocks?

A: Grave stones.

Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

A: By witchful thinking.

Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle?

A: It was a chain letter.

Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?

A: It was a stake sandwich.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?

A: Lazybones

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

A: To stop his coffin

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