RandyW Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough. You only need two tools in life ~ WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry's Wife Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 That's freakin' hilarious!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 omg Randy, I'm checking the windows again to be sure no one is catching me laughing out loud in the house all by myself. I starting laughing with the first one and laughed all the way through but was in stitches with the last! Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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