hollyridge Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 I am sorry to say that my dear sweet Bill is doing very poorly. He was fine until the day after Thanksgiving and then pain started in his spine. He still worked until two and a half weeks ago and now he can barely walk with a walker. I take him everyday for radiation to try to help with the pain from the spine mets and it has helped a little. We had Hospice come out and talk to us but he does not want them yet. He still wants to try to get treatment and they won't allow any treatment except for pain. I have my three grown children and their spouses and my parents who are helping me all of the time. We have a hospital bed for him and they put it right up against our bed so we can still sleep holding hands. He is lucid most of the time and other times he speaks nonsense. The pain is horrible sometimes and my heart just cannot take the sadness of watching him suffer. I will not call Hopsice until he wants me to. I can be strong for him. Yesterday I had to wipe him after he went to the bathroom and he started crying because he was humiliated. This is such a nightmare. We bring the gradnkids in almost everyday and they make him happy but they are also sad to see their Papa not moving or playing. I am so tired and I try to keep everything normal and peaceful and nice for him but I feel like I cannot keep up. I pray for God to give me more strength. I pray harder for God to take his pain away. He is only 57 years old. He was such a vibrant man and now he is frail and old looking and weak and sad. I hate this disease so much! I do want to tell all of you about a new stage 2 clinical trial specifically being used on recurrent small cell that was previously treated with a carbon based drug. It is called BORTEZOMIB. It is being used for Multiple Myeloma patients now and is giving them great results for extending life several months. Anne and Debbie. . .I am so sorry and I will pray for you. My heart goes out to all of you who are fighting the last stages of this battle. God be with you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhioKat Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 MY heart goes out to you and your dear husband. I will pray that God will help him in this suffering. Its so terrible that any of us have to feel that kind of pain. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 So sorry to hear of the hard times you are going through now. I can definitely relate. My husband had sclc with mets to liver and spine. I know the pain is intolerable. My husband was 49. I know how your husband feels about Hospice but you may have to begin making some decisions on your own. I also have three grown children who were very supportive and offered a lot of help, but....this can get to the point where you need all the help you can get. Hospice will have all the meds you need sent to your door. Believe me, there are times things will happen and you cannot get a doctor or pharmacy in the middle of the night. If Bill is in and out mentally, it could be from the pain meds or it could be the stage of the cancer. In my opinion, you should go ahead and schedule Hospice. My Dennis was never really aware of exactly who they were...just that the nurse was a nurse! I too was hesitant about making that call...but it was one of the best decisions I made regarding Dennis's care. They have such experience and insight as to what you, Bill and your entire family is going through. Please consider this option. Call your doctor and he can arrange everything. Please hang tough....and try and think of your body and mind's needs. Please PM me if you need to talk. I have walked the exact footsteps you are now walking. I still need help getting through this myself (after one year) but I would love to be here for you! You are in my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 I can relate very well to you this morning for my Buddy is just a step away from Hospice. He to has a lot of pain. I took him to the family dr yesterday because he was feeling so bad. I really wanted to take him to the hospital but he didn't want to go. He told the dr that he is dying and the dr asked him if he wanted hospice. He said not right now also but will consider it soon he was sure. The dr told him that if he stays in that frame of mind that his mind will shut down his body and he will die. The dr said then if you don't want hospice then you must still want to fight this cancer that is in you so clear your mind of dying and go home and take your pain meds and see how that helps you. We came home, I gave him two pains pills plus the pill to help his appitite and he took a nap. He woke about two hrs later, said he thought he had died and was in Heaven because the pain seemed to have gone away. I have said this over and over, this roller coaster ride never stops. Within a matter of two hours, he was up and down that track. So yes, our loved ones are both having a very hard time but lets don't count them out yet. P.S. Today, he again is not feeling well and has had nothing to eat as yet. Gave him a pain pill and the appitite pill and he again has laid down for a nap. Hope he wakes up feeling a little better like yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 So sorry to hear that Buddy is having such a rough time of it. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know if Buddy ever watched the movie Patton...but...it was Dennis's favorite "fighting" movie. When I refer to "fighting" I am refering to fighting cancer. Dennis would watch certain parts of that movie over and over to get himself pumped up for the fight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted December 19, 2003 Share Posted December 19, 2003 I am so sorry for the trials you are enduring at this time. You will be in my prayers. God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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